Just a Bond

Ironic, No?

"Women like you don't deserve to be with me, Najwa."

I who was originally engrossed in enjoying the view outside the house through the bedroom window immediately turned to look at the sound. I gasped as soon as I heard that super-flat and cold sentence, let alone realize who the speaker was. Cold sweat started pouring down every inch of the body when it saw Mas Farhan coming towards me with an evil grin on his face. The sinister aura like a monster imprinted on his handsome face made me shudder. Want to avoid, but the body is like being set on a stand. Throat feels dry like an arid desert. Lips are moved for words, but the tongue feels muddy. The energy I wanted to give to yelling was as if it had disappeared for some reason. Adrenaline seems to continue to be driven quickly like a horseman who can not control the horse he rides.

This fear within became more and more so when Mas Farhan continued to approach. What was even more shocking was the moment he pulled out a folding knife from behind his body.

"It seems fun if we play around with my favorite knife, huh?" He opened the knife, then looked at it closely, then turned to look at me with a grin that was increasingly printed on his lips.

"Ja-ja .. ja-" My voice, my God. I stared expectantly at my husband with teary eyes. There was nothing I could do but shake slowly, as a gesture of pleading not to do so.

"Don't be afraid, honey. It won't hurt, though. Trust me, this husband of yours won't have the heart to torture you."

The rolls of tears that clumped in the eye pelukur slowly fell drop by drop, until they broke apart violently when Mas Farhan was already standing in front. I turned my eyes to avoid his sharp gaze that seemed to pierce the eyes. If those words of affection were not revealed in this state, how happy I would be.

Slowly, one of his hands grabbed my shoulder from the side. Makes the body vibrate because of fear. Next to her hand it forced me to face forward, in the direction where she brandished her folding knife.

"Rilex, Dear Najwa. No cry. I promise you, this won't hurt. Nothing's gonna happen, honey." He chuckles afterwards. That disparaging-sounding oddity presented pain in the chest.

Really, I don't know why my husband behaves like this psychopath? How could he speak so lightly? Didn't he know that imagining my body being slashed, even chopped like beef with a knife in his hand made me feel infinite pain? Especially if it really happened?

"You're beautiful, Najwa. But ... Your husband is not satisfied with your beauty. How about I groom you with this knife?"

My crying is breaking. I felt like I was dead before I was finished.

What's on your mind, Mom?

I closed my eyes tight, because that's all I could do. A little bit I move, then the knife that has been perched on the right cheek must hurt me. I continued to pray in my heart, pleading for protection from the cruel nature of my husband.

He then laughed out loud. Is it that happy that he saw me suffer?

"Ah, must be fun." He whispered in a voice that really horrified me. "I will make you the luckiest woman because I did it myself, Najwa."

Lucky where, Mom? Oh my God, let out my voice.

"Where do we start this game, honey? Oh, looks like both of your cheeks are good, huh?" He moved his hand, moved the knife that was originally on the right cheek, turned to the left cheek. Even the knife just touched the cheek, the mouth was already hissing in horror. The shadow of what kind of pain I would experience when it managed to scratch this cheek made me continue to tighten my eyes.

"Ja-ja ..no, Mas," I followed by sobs. Finally my voice came out too.

"What, Honey? Didn't you hear?"

What am I supposed to do? How do I stop Mas Farhan?

I forced my tongue to speak again. "Ma-Mas, please stop." My voice is still shaking.

He laughed first. "It's not that easy, honey. I'm not satisfied if what I want hasn't been done."

"Ma-Mas Farhan what do you want?"

She was stunned for a moment after hearing my question. He then lowered his knife from the cheek, then pointed it towards the stomach. He turned my body towards her and stared intently.

"Of course I want to send you to another realm so as not to disturb my life."

My eyeballs are wide.

"What's my fault, Mom?"

"Oh, you want to know? Alright. Because I am good, I tell you. I hate you, Najwa. Because you agreed to the match."

I jumped as the sharp object went through the stomach. So surprised by Mas Farhan's actions I could only groan in pain while looking at him carefully with tears continuing. Slowly I felt limp, my vision blurry and my body suddenly collapsed.

"You deserve to die, Najwa!"

...***...

"Astaghfirullahal azim!" my yelling. I opened my eyes and sat down for a moment. The temple was already soaked with sweat. There are tears that also wet the cheeks. I looked around my new room. The roar of breath that was originally hunting because of the fear that was still felt, gradually lightened. I held my head while leaning my body against the head of the bed, still in shock.

Oh my God, it was just a dream. I can't imagine if that really happened.

After feeling quite calm, and rubbing the sweat with one hand, I glanced at the side of the bed next to me. Turned empty.

Where is Mas Farhan?

With a still remaining stuffing, I uncovers a thick blanket wrapped in body, then gets off the bed intending to look for the whereabouts of Mas Farhan.

I was stunned to see him sleep curled up on the floor of our front room with a thin sheet of blankets, and arms that were used as head pads. I saw the television there and the laptop was still on. There were some files scattered beside the laptop. Maybe he overslept while watching television, and hasn't finished his work yet. It's only fitting that he hastily brought me here this afternoon.

It's so sad, this husband. Where does he work, anyway? What job? No holiday time just a day? The newlyweds should be given a vacation schedule, right?

I nodded slowly, not thinking about myself. How could I not know my husband's own work? It doesn't matter if you guys want to protest me. I accept it, because it is the truth. I know about him from Dad. However, every thing that people tell us is different from when we know it ourselves, right?

Scroll wall clock, showing 00:00. I stared at Mas Farhan's face for a while, then entered the room to pick up a blanket and a pillow for him. After replacing her arm with the pillow I carried and wrapping the thick blanket on her body that looked cold, I chose to sleep next to her. Of course facing towards him. This is something I should be grateful for. Can enjoy her beautiful face for a long time, even though she is asleep.

"Good night, Mom. Have a good rest, and have a good dream, yes."

Ironic, right? At the time when I should have said that sentence when he was going to rest and in a conscious state, I instead said it when he slept like this. The attitude he showed earlier fostered a belief within himself that he would not accept such a remark if he knew.

...***...

Sayup-sayup I heard the dawn of Azan reverberating. Although it was a little difficult to open my eyes, I forced her. The first sight I saw was the face of Mas Farhan who was still asleep in his sleep. I smiled and saw her calm face. The smile grew even more blissful when she found her sturdy arm wrapped around my waist. Our position is still the same as last night, it means that Mas Farhan has not awakened at all. I chose to be quiet, waiting for him to wake up.

Again a sweet smile could not escape the lips when I saw Mas Farhan yawn. He rubbed his eyes first to gather consciousness.

God, how wonderful is this one of your blessings.

"Najwa, what are you doing?" In an instant, the arm that was originally wrapped around the waist slipped off. Mas Farhan immediately got up then stared intently, scaring me a little. I caught him getting out of bed.

"Mas Farhan, why are you so surprised? I'm gonna take it, okay, Mas?" manyu timid.

"You slept here all night?" Not even the answer I got. I rolled a lazy eyeball at Mas Farhan's response.

"Yes, Mas. Why?" I asked by putting on an innocent face. Though I can guess that Mas Farhan must be upset with my behavior on this one. "Lagian Mas is weird. There was a room to sleep in, even sleeping outside. I can't bear it. When my husband sleeps outside, without a pillow and a blanket, his wife sleeps inside, on the mattress again, complete with pillows and blankets." I'm trying to get an opinion out. Although I was afraid, I had to get used to this. If not, I'll have a hard time breaking Mas Farhan. I waited long enough for his response, but nothing. Shitty, right?

Mas Farhan rose up rather rudely, leaving me who was again bewailed lamenting the fate of being a wife was not considered this.

...***...

Sweet greetings from sweet people.

Khairotin Najmah

Sumenep, Madura, East Java

Sunday, 13 June 2021