Just a Bond

Don't Insecure

"I wouldn't go back if Mas Reza wasn't honest." The rout imprinted on my brother's handsome face this time turned irritated. However, I don't care. Mas Reza and Mas Farhan are different. He won't act like Mas Farhan just now. So I'm not scared.

The big question in my brain right now is, what the hell is going on between Mas Reza and Mas Farhan? Why do they both keep something I don't know?

“Mas didn't say anything." He pointed his index and middle fingers in front of me. However, I did not believe it because I realized there were still strange things with Mas Reza's answer. "Oh God, Deck. Who were you taught to be stubborn, anyway? I've also been told from earlier."

I grinned widely in response to Mas Reza's grunts.

"Mas, it's so hard, huh, you know? Since when was there a secret between us?"

I heard it loud enough from Mas Reza's speech. "The magazine just reminded Farhan so that he does not act that will make him regret, also about his closeness with Rifka.” My eyeballs were round hearing these words of Mas Reza. My lips can only be mangap, confused to have to respond how.

“Mas does not know what is between them. Because yes, from the past, even until now, Rifka rarely the same stories Mas." Mas Reza turned my body towards him. His two hands cupped my cheeks. "You know, you thought about the incident last afternoon, ‘kan, until you didn't go out to eat?”

What should I answer, while Mas Reza memorized my attitude?

"Mas is silent, it does not mean that you do not know. His style is only focused on the phone and use a headset, but Mas's ears do not focus on the spectacle of Mas."

Apparently so. I didn't want to tell Mas Reza anything, because I thought he didn't know about it. But it turns out he already knows. I'm still silent.

"You are the type of person who is quiet and likes not to talk if not spoken to first. And Mas guess Mas guess that you do not interact so often because of your quiet attitude, right?”

My head bowed for a moment. That's why I used to be with Mas Reza. He knows best about me.

“Eat is fitting you see your husband can be familiar with others - which in this case is your own sister - you are insecure. Right?"

I can only nod slowly. In fact, the jealousy seems to increase as the memory returns to the mind. Again, Mas Reza raised my face. He looked at these eyes with gentleness.

“As an older brother, Mas's job is to remind his younger siblings, including the two of you." Mas Reza paused his sentence for a while by taking a breath, then exhaling it. "OK, Mas will not interfere with your problems, because it is realized, Mas has no rights. Appreciate your privacy as Farhan's wife. Mas is also sure, Mas's brother can solve his own problems." My lips could no longer hold a smile as Mas Reza also smiled towards me while gently clamping my nose.

"You're prettier when you smile, Dek."

"Currently, Mas Reza learned from whom, anyway?" Tumben once my brother this one is dreadful. Usually not either.

"She, deh."

The atmosphere of Mas Reza's room, which was originally quiet, was now crowded with the sound of our laughter suddenly breaking. It feels so good when I can laugh like this again. After two months at Mas Farhan's house, which indirectly became a prison for me, I was finally able to laugh like now again.

"His armpit, Deck. Let's continue the discussion."

Mas Reza why so jealous, huh? Laughing, happy, within minutes, he reminded me of that. I was washing my lips. Just make badmood.

"Hey, remember. There is a husband waiting for you in the room. I also do not want to be reprimanded by Father or Mas Gibran by leaving you here, while Farhan is alone there."

No wonder I have a husband. Uh, astaghfirullahal azim. Away, Satan. Stop poisoning my mind.

"Yes, yeah. Come on, what are you saying? I'm gonna put an ear on it to beat Mas."

"It's hard, Mum." My eyes are back in tears. If I remember what happened, I can't control my emotions.

"Can, Deck. You can fight your sense of insecure, as long as there is a will to eradicate it. Try it, don't get used to saying no first. You know, sometimes our desires are hard to come true, because there's a negative mindset first."

I don't know what response I should give to Mas Reza right now. It's so hard to feel.

"You said it's hard not to insecure, even though you haven't done anything. If you try first as much as you can, will it end in vain? No, right?"

My tears were slowly dripping down scroll by scroll. What Mas Reza said is true.

"Hey, insecure is there because you always compare yourself with others. Though you should know, everyone has their own shortcomings and advantages, and of course different, Deck."

That's also what I'm still very hard to avoid. Finally the defense not to cry in front of Mas Reza again was inevitable. The will of tears is inversely proportional to the will of the mind. My body trembled again as the negative emotions rose again behind my chest, and the crying broke again. I cried also because I was annoyed with myself who still likes to maladeni negative things.

As usual, Mas Reza grabbed me, letting me vent my emotions with a cry first.

"It's quiet, Dek?" asked Mas Reza after some time we went through with silence and the sound of my sobs.

A moment after I nodded at Mas Reza's words, he broke our embrace. "The key is not to insecure, be grateful, Deck." He wiped my tears gently. "After all there are still many things you can be grateful for, and it is not owned by others, which you can make a powerful tool against insecure it. Farhan your husband, you have a right to it. So, what should you do insecure?”

Oh God, why doesn't that happen to me, huh?

"When other people can only interact for some time, you can interact at any time with him. You can stay with him, through the days with him for a long period of time. Why insecure with the little things?"

Mas Reza smiled gently at me. “Already, ah. You have to be strong, and I'm sure you're strong, Dek. Whatever your problem is with Farhan, hopefully soon to run, yes.”

A single tear flashed back. Mas Reza is not just a place to confide in me, but a place to find solutions and motivations. He who always managed to get me excited to live a life with a million trials. Immediately I put my body back into his arms followed by a big thank you for his kindness.

“It's been relieved, ‘kan?” Mas Reza looked at me lovingly after our embrace unraveled. I put on a smile, then nodded steadily because that was how I felt now. “Because you are fine, now you are back to the room, yes?”

I'm rolling my eyeballs. “Mas ngusir me?”

...***...

Hi, I update early in the morning, here. Pleased no?

Don't forget to leave a trail of your appreciation, yes. Thank you to all of you who have faithfully accompanied the steps of Mas Farhan and Najwa to this point. Don't get tired of waiting. Again, thank you. May God repay your kindness. Aamiins.

If you can, tell your friends or the people closest to you, make read my novel. He-he.

Sweet greetings from me.💙

Sumenep, Madura, East Java

Thursday, 5 August 2021