Just a Bond

Let It Be First

"Dec? Najwa?"

The clap on the shoulder from Mas Reza's hand left me aghast. I don't know what the look on this face looks like. Kulirik Mas Reza who was already standing right beside me. Heart rate is still racing abnormally like finishing a marathon. I was silent for a while, trying to neutralize the shock of his sudden call. I saw my second brother sitting next to me, then cupping his cheek.

"Why are you, anyway, Dek? Look at you from earlier." My lips were still clenched, confused as to what answer to him. Even though our faces were facing directly, I was trying to avoid my brother's gaze. "When do you call unconscious?"

I just grimaced softly hearing his question.

What do you want to answer me?

I put both hands down to lower Mas Reza's hand on the cheek. Only after, did I spread my gaze across the entire front room. Instantly, the phrase istigfar spoke softly from the lips. In fact, I just realized that Dad's not by my side anymore. And Mas Farhan ... where is he? My husband was not in the front room either.

I turned my head towards Mas Reza with a frown on my forehead. "Where to go, Mommy?"

I heard Mas Reza snorting loudly. He then looked at me quite intensely. I hurried to look away, because Mas Reza was very sensitive.

"This is a child, asked what, he answered what."

Once again I grimaced softly while scratching the temple in front of Mas Reza. I am not used to the theatrics like Mas Farhan, even more confused if there is a kepo.

"I'm nothing, Mom. Seriously." I tried to show a reassuring look on my face towards Mas Reza. "Now answer my question. Where's dad, Mas?"

"Daddy in the room. Rest."

My eyeballs are buying. "Are you sick, Mom?"

Immediately I removed the hand of Mas Reza who suddenly stuck to my forehead. What does it mean try? What does my question have to do with frowning? This one, my God. There are only his behavior.

I stared hard at Mas Reza. "Buck, uh. Why the hell?" my annoyance.

Not directly answering, Mas Reza even more so. He instead switched to fingering my cheek many times, moving it to the left and right side while being examined. So obnoxious. Lucky darling.

Is Mas Reza aware of my physical changes, huh?

"Sir, you're not hot, but why do you feel sick, huh? Your gaze is empty. Your cheeks are also looking more and more thin. Your skin is dull--"

"Astagfirullah, Ma. Mas Reza why am I ugly?"

Mas Reza didn't heed my protest sentence. Really sucks. Instead of answering, he looked back at my face like there was something suspicious there. Makes me risi. Both of her hands cupped my face back so she could not turn away. He even gave me an ultimatum so I wouldn't look away.

What the fuck, anyway?

After a long time of staring and diving into the sea of my eyes, Mas Reza made a sound. "Najwa, Mas Reza knows who you are. From childhood, Mas Reza was closest to you."

Well, right. See for yourself how my sister's this one. Though this was our first meeting and I also tried to make my face look mediocre. However, Mas Reza could still realize. Great, isn't it, my brother?

"We live together not just one day two days. Even years. You are 23 years old." Mas Reza paused his sentence. The beautiful man with the characteristic white skin clean with slightly narrow eyes was seen taking a breath for a moment. A worried look began to be imprinted on that face. "Mas sure you understand Mas's complaint about your face." I suddenly shut up. Confused what to answer. "Because from a long time ago, you didn't care whether you were beautiful or not."

My lips are getting tightened like smeared with G glue. Once a direct polish adhesive. What Mas Reza said is true. Actually I've caught the direction of the man's complaint about my face. But I try to deny. Despite the fact, Mas Reza is hard to fool.

"You look like a disoriented person in a place not crowded."

Slowly, my neck hinges suddenly broke. Heads down without warning. Pain in the chest was again felt, along with the appearance of a pool of clear fluid in the corner of the eye.

Mom, how do I say everything is the same to you?

I want to put it all in front of Mas Reza. However, the fear of what would happen after this, made me not want to talk.

"How can you not realize the look of Dad's face is very obvious if he was sick earlier? Unless your focus is divided, your physique is here, but your mind is everywhere."

"Mas, I told you. It's okay, Mom. Mas Reza doesn't have to worry."

"How can I be calm if I see your condition as good?" Both hands of Mas Reza now turned to hold my shoulders. The look in his eyes clearly implied a considerable worry for me.

I tried to calm myself down by sighing slowly first. "Najwa is an adult, Mas. The crybaby Najwa, Mas's spoiled sister, doesn't exist, Mas." Unexpectedly, my voice even trembled as I said it. The crying that wanted to spill made me unable to control the tone of voice.

Mas Reza tightened his grip on my shoulder. His eyes stare. "But what is this? You can lie to them with words. But your actions can't, Dek. The Najwa that was and is now remains the same."

"Ma-Mas ...."

"By the way, Najwa. Don't make me worry about you."

However, my tongue felt so faint that it could not say anything. Only the more loud stuffing incarnated a cry, filling the front room of Dad's house. My shoulders were shaking more and more due to the outpouring of emotions from behind my chest.

"Najwa, same story Mas, Dek, if you really need a storymate. It's still your old age."

Ah, Mas Reza's. Your words don't make me stop crying, Mom. I wanted to cry like we had in the days we spent together.

And in the end, I also let my tears drip down profusely without worrying about arousing Mas Reza's suspicion again. I really can't hold it back. I let him wash over Mas Reza's shoulders, who kept holding me tight. His hand moved rubbing my back.

"Let it be like this first, Mommy." I said after feeling quite calm while rubbing the liquid in my nose, then drowned it again on Mas Reza's shoulders.

My brother was silent, letting me vent all the emotions through that cry. For a long time I cried on Mas Reza's shoulder, I raised my head slowly. I took a hug from Mas Reza, as I wiped the remains of tears on my cheek. It felt so relieved when I was able to shed that ever-stretched cry. The chest that seemed to be overwritten by tons of weight also felt very light.

"It's calmed down?" I nodded at Mas Reza's question.

"Does this have anything to do with Farhan, Dek? You guys got a problem?"

I growled at getting questions like that from Mas Reza. Simalakama fruit also makes me confused to answer what. Both are not in my favor.

"Mas, already. Thank you for giving me that shoulder. But, sorry. I can't tell you. This is my household business. Let it be our business."

It's my decision. I stayed with the stance of fighting without exposing anything about Mas Farhan.

Mas Reza again shone my eyes. His two concentrated eyes, clearly implying anger. I believe in that. Judging from both his hands were also tightly clenched. His jaw was also hardened, his teeth clanking was clearly heard.

"Mas won't stay silent if Farhan gets past the limit, Dek."

Right, huh? Mas Reza's tone of voice also implied anger. I forced myself to smile. "Mas Farhan is good, really, Mas. Reza take it easy."

"How can you calm down? It hasn't been two months, you've been skinny like this. Your cry just now also implies a lot of injuries, Dek. What did Farhan do to you?"

Mom, why are you this smart, anyway? Why is Mas Farhan so insensitive? Ah, is he really insensitive? Or is he just pretending to be insensitive?

I exhaled for a moment. Then he grabbed both hands of Mas Reza. I held my brother's hand quite tightly. In addition, I looked into his eyes with a glint of tenderness. Wish he'd let down, and be willing to try to calm down a little.

"Mas, the positive support from Mas is very much needed. Just pray, I hope I can get through our problems. After all, Mother said, if someone is married, when there are any problems, try not to involve others. Even if it's family. Unless it's very much needed."

Although not satisfied, Mas Reza then ended the interrogation session by saying, "May you be happy with your choice, Dek."

Ah, it feels so calming. Slowly, the turmoil in the heart about the fear of Mas Reza's actions if at any time I know I am not okay with Mas Farhan, gradually light.

"After all, Mas's time couldn't see how concerned Mas Farhan was with me?"

Mas Reza nodded. "Mas knows. Just, the fear's always there, Dek."

"Everything's gonna be okay, Mom." I hope that.

"Yes, you rest there. Farhan told me to rest. He looks so tired."

"I'll go to Dad's room, Mom."

"Don't forget to wash your face. Dad's condition isn't stable."

...***...

Hohoho, finally after passing a series of exams, ranging from bad signals to not being able to update on time, chapter 13 release.

Don't forget likes, votes and comments, yes. Recommend to a friend for reading, it is okay.

Sweet greetings from sweet people.

Sumenep, Madura, East Java

Wednesday, 23 June 2021