Just a Bond

Wants What?

"Why stick it behind Dad, anyway, Yang. I'm jealous of this, lo." Not happy tears that suddenly spread in the corner of the eye hear that sentence. This overflowing emotion behind my chest is not out of joy at my husband's sweet words. However, otherwise.

Why does it feel so painful? At the time when I should have smiled shyly, even crying haru, I instead cried out of sadness. Why is it so difficult to just accept it even though it is limited to acting for the sake of the man I am hugging? Oh, my God, my. When are you going to torture me like this?

The more I buried my face there, my two hands were also wrapped around Dad's neck. Trying to resist the emotional tasting that prompts you to cry again. Anyway, although it's hard, Dad's feelings should really be taken care of.

"Tuh, Wa. Husband jealous. How come it's getting worse, Dad, anyway?" Dad was joking, but I couldn't smile. A heart that has already hurt, makes me reluctant to lift my head. I really don't want to see Mas Farhan's face this time.

I want to get out of here soon. But, how is it?

"Darling, sorry about that. Same time I'm just kidding."

The chest suddenly tightened a moment after Mas Farhan made a sound. Oh my God, I'm not strong. I need to blow it out immediately. I can't keep trapping myself in this kind of pain.

Slowly, I lifted my head while still hiding my face behind the veil. It was used to disguise the tears that had spread earlier. Only after feeling quite calm did I open my face cover.

I looked at Mas Farhan's face for a moment. "Najwa knows, Mas. Don't worry."

"Really?"

I think my chest is going to explode. Every sentence that came out of Mas Farhan's mouth was like a ticking time bomb ready to destroy me in a moment.

I was silent for some time, then gave a small nod despite hesitation.

"Em, Najwa took a minute to the toilet, huh, Dad, Mas?"

Immediately, I got up from Dad's side, preparing to leave the room. Even without waiting for the answer of the two, I immediately stepped up. I can't stand the tightness and pain in my chest. This seems to be more severe than people with asthma.

"It's not to avoid us, is it?"

Mas Farhan's voice interrupts. I took a deep breath, then turned towards them with an annoyed look.

What intentions did they make usilin me?

"No, Mas. Najwa kebelet this."

Kebelet spills all the emotions in the chest.

"Yes there already. Hunting poop here, could be dangerous."

Still a little bit of humor, Dad?

Ignoring that sentence, I quickly set foot towards the door.

"Oh, yes, Wa."

Again, Dad?

The feet are outside the room, lo. With the patience I kept on emphasizing in my heart, I turned my head again.

"Come back here, bring a drink for your husband, yeah."

Without saying much, I placed one hand near the forehead as the schoolboy was respecting the Red and White flag. Then, I hurriedly took my steps out of Dad's room. I can't hold it much longer. I ran pretty fast towards the bathroom. Not too far from Dad's room, anyway. Just traversing the living room was quite wide, then Mas Reza's room, and the kitchen.

When I got there, I turned the water tap quite tight, then sat in one corner of the bathroom leaning against the wall. Fuck my wet shirt. Tightness in the chest demands to vent emotions with crying. I let the patches of clear liquid pour out profusely from my petals. Only with this can I let go of the burden that feels constantly squeezing the chest. As the re-creation of the event I just experienced re-played in memory, the cry grew more and more broken. The feeling of annoyance, anger and sadness that mixed into one made the body tremble violently.

"You're evil ... Mas." The outpouring of negative emotions continues to cause pain in the chest. Breathing feels tight. I pulled out a face that was still wet with tears to try to breathe with my mouth. These two hands have moved banging on the chest because of the pain.

Najwa is still the same, Dad. Najwa still likes to hold nothing for himself for Dad's sake.

My crying is becoming more and more.

Oh my God, strengthen the servant.

"Najwa?"

Instantly, I gasped at the call from outside the bathroom. The sound of the rue ... Oh, my God, that's Mas Reza's voice. Suddenly, I got up from my seat feeling panicked. Don't let him suspect. Immediately I washed my face to disguise the look of careless there. Once aware of the state of the clothes that are mostly soaked and dirty, especially unholy.

I'm so careless, huh? Uh, but the intention was to take off the burden, right? Hm, how is this? Yes, the time I went out in wet clothes? But who do I ask for help? Mas Mas Reza's time?

"Dec? You're in there?"

I'm groping for a second. Until Mas Reza repeated his question, I replied, "I-iya, Mas."

"Dong school. I'm gonna change this."

I should what? Rather than going out in wet clothes, while my room was a bit away from the bathroom, it would definitely dirty the house, alright.

"Mas, can you ask me to stop?"

I grimaced softly hearing his answer.

"Get me a change of clothes, will you? I'm not intentionally wet, Mom."

"Hadeh, my sister this one. Good thing you're good. Just jerk."

I breathed a sigh of relief while leaning against the wall again. Thankfully, Reza didn't ask much.

...***...

"Why get his clothes wet?"

I frowned as soon as I opened the room door, Mas Farhan suddenly asked so.

Why would you know?

As if understanding my confusion, Mas Farhan said, "Mas Reza was here, saying ask for your change of clothes. I'll get it."

My eyeballs are buying. Seriously? Mas Reza, uh. Why ask Mas Farhan for help, anyway? Uh, but ... he said to the room earlier, right? Means Mas Reza came when he was already in dong's room?

"Oh, thank you, Mas."

"That's it?"

My forehead is getting wrinkled. My husband is mysterious, my God. What was trying on his mind? I'm chatty, wrong. Even the answer is wrong. What want?

"You haven't answered my question. Why are you wet with your clothes?"

"Important, huh, Mas?" Because as I know, according to his past experience he wouldn't have asked, if it wasn't important. Never mind asking, I ask sometimes I don't get an answer. It's even a trivial matter in my opinion. Just because Mas Reza asked him to help me get my clothes, you.

"What's the hard answer?"

"Mas Farhan is sick? Tumben really." My hand moved to touch her forehead and confirm her condition. I'd be scared if my husband started 'somewhat'. Just understand, yeah.

"Najwa." Okay, I'm raising my hand. Mas Farhan had already let out a mainstay stance, a super cold voice and a sharp gaze.

"Fall down, Mom."

I did fall, didn't I?

"Why did it fall?"

My head wants to break. Thinking about various kinds of speculation because the attitude of my husband this one makes the brain hot. Confused too. I who-say-are used to living in a state of not being okay with him all this time, feel strange and alien to Mas Farhan's attitude. In addition, the fear that I would be dropped again as I began to watch the members created a peculiarity in the heart.

"Shut up again" said Mas Farhan.

"Already, Mas. Why do you fuck me? I'm not okay."

And ... My husband looked at me sharply. Makes me bored with her very, very annoying behavior. He grabbed both of my arms suddenly. This unusual treatment reminded me of an incident in my dream on the first night I was resting at his house. There's no way that's Mas Farhan's character, right?

"Mas, don't do this."

Because I'm tired of constantly living under pressure.

"Oh, yes. Sorry I forgot to get a drink. Bentar, yes. I'll get it."

As my hand moved to release its grip on my arm, it tightened even more. The hope that my husband was going to melt turned out to evaporate. Makes me have to take a deep breath back.

"Mas, stop pretending to care about me. There is no Mas Reza here. There is no father." I returned his sharp gaze. "Your acting was totality. No one will suspect."

"Good then."

Any more? This who, anyway? Who am I talking about? Does Farhan really have a dual personality? Why is his attitude so confusing?

Especially after he hit my arm roughly, making me take a few steps back. Fortunately, it did not fall. I looked at the back of the man who had left me blankly.

...***...

I updated again. Pleased no? Happy dong. Yes kali? Jokey. I'm trying to write for a dressing that was updated yesterday for you guys, lo. So, don't forget to give me an injection of spirit for me with likes, votes and comments, yes. I'm really glad that you guys want to appreciate my work.

Sweet greetings from the sweet author.

Sumenep, Madura, East Java

Tuesday, 29 June 2021