Just a Bond

New Hobby

“Where to go, Mas?” I'm still in the head.

“You don't want to make a pilgrimage to your mother's grave?”

The head that had originally lowered, quickly looked up. This gaze of eyes highlighted Mas Farhan's sharp gaze which was still the same as before. The difference was, the look that was imprinted on his face at this moment was slightly different. There is no veiled look there, there is only a reassuring look. Perhaps it was also the effect of the completion of worship, so it looked fresh.

Come to think of it, it was also true what Mas Farhan said. Oh God, I was home this time, and could I have forgotten? Duh, what the hell am I. Fortunately, my kind husband remembered. For almost two months, I was grateful to the woman who gave birth to me only through prayer and fatiha that I gave every prayer.

“Najwa, now daydreaming has become your new hobby, huh?”

Well, ‘kan. I was caught daydreaming again. Duh, O Allah, it is troubling my new hobby. Hobby is daydreaming, Wa.

“You don't?”

“I-iya definitely want dong, Mas.”

“La Yes. Get out there, get ready. Don't dawdle. I want a car manasin first.”

Mas Farhan immediately turned around to leave me.

“But, Mas?”

Mas Farhan who was already holding the doorknob, quickly turned his head towards me. He looks like he's tightening his jaw. “What else, Najwa?” press it.

Although afraid to express the awkwardness that still continues to demand answers in this heart, I forced myself to open my lips, then asked, “Why did Mas Farhan suddenly make me go to Mother's grave?”

He was silent before answering my question, I don't know what he was thinking. I attached a gaze, scrutinizing the expression on her oval face. What made my eyebrows nosedive was the moment I caught the look of confusion on Mas Farhan's face.

Is he really confused as to what to answer? Butwhy?

“There is something wrong if I go to your mother's grave?”

I scratched the nape. “No, nothing is wrong, anyway.”

“Keep why is his expression still like that?”

Mas Farhan turned his body back to face me. He had stepped up, even standing right in front of me.

“Like it how, Mas?”

“Someone you want to ask again?”

O God, I want to embrace this man who is now in front of me. I really didn't think he could be this smart. I became worried and suddenly doubted that Mas Farhan had known nothing about me during his stay at his house. He seemed to be able to read the look printed on my face.

“Ke his tomb is close, kok, Mas. Do not use all cars. Not even in his car. The road can not be passed by a bicycle, let alone a car.”

Because the burial site is in the middle of the field. Honey, right? My house is in a village located in Bangkalan District, not in the city.

“Oh. Yes already, we walk.”

I nodded, but still flinching where I stood. Because that's not what I really wanted to ask Mas Farhan.

“So to say that's it, ‘kan? Why are you still silent?”

I exhaled. “Why does Mas Farhan still call Mom by the name of your mother? Not very good to hear. Since marriage, my mother is your mother too, Mas. Okay, nothing ka—”

“Iya. Be ready there. We're going to Mom's grave now, dear Najwa. Okay?”

Again, my lips perked while staring in disbelief at Mas Farhan. His two hands were also suddenly perched on my shoulders. The two hands then tried to push the small of my shoulder to turn around and immediately advance to the wardrobe place. Obviously, that makes me more confused. Already curious, I tried to uphold the body, so as not to be pushed by it. Mas Farhan stared straight at the horror, and I didn't care.

“What?" He clucked for a second. "You're why so stubborn, anyway? Asked this, there are still many protests that and all sorts.”

Ah, it seems to tease Mas Farhan with my badass this is fun too, huh. Ha-ha-ha. I can talk more with him, even now we're in physical contact, lo. Mas Farhan who used to be unwilling to come into contact with me— stared at me like a bacterium that when touched would transmit diseases— suddenly like now. Well, it seems like I want to add a new hobby list, which is to try Mas Farhan.

Uh, astaghfirullahal azim. I could have thought that way to my husband.

I'm sorry, Mas.

However, I was really curious about Mas Farhan's last words. I just wanted to make sure I didn't hear wrong.

“Tadi Mas Farhan said what? Najwa what?”

It's us in the room, lo. Just both. No Dad, Mas Reza or Mas Gibran. If that reflex was spoken, did Mas Farhan get carried away?

“Can't you, anyway, you didn't ask much? You're such a fuss. Know?”

I rolled my eyeballs. “Iya, Mas. I know I'm chatty. But whatever, I don't care, you want to say like protest, recalcitrant, baffle or whatever. I want Mas Farhan to answer my question. Promise me to change clothes, as long as Mas Farhan answers my questions." I showed two fingers - the index finger and the middle - to the front of him. "Tell Najwa what just now?”

I make this look as convincing as possible. Just one more time there was a miracle and Mas Farhan wanted to repeat his call just now, ‘ right? Although it is unlikely, it is okay.

I looked at Mas Farhan's face which still implied annoyance. His jaw seems to tighten, especially if he starts to grow angry. However, for some reason, accustomed to Mas Farhan's attitude, I felt no fear.

“What, Mas? I want to listen, here.” I attached the face—telingaku—to his front. Although thin, my smile expands seeing Mas Farhan's expression. He clenched his hands on both sides of his body, his gurgling teeth were enough I could hear. He wanted to be angry, but he couldn't.

Having not yet heard Mas Farhan's voice, I turned my face, looked into his eyes while waiting with anxious expectation. If Mas Farhan does not want to repeat it, then I must be ready to be let down by my expectations.

“Iya, dear Najwa. Already, ‘kan? Shirt change. Night hunt, you ‘kan coward.”

Dih, wear my cowardice all over. But, if this is the story, mending I stay with Father and Mas Reza only times, huh? I'm afraid Mas Farhan will change again if we go home.

Mas Farhan then took his eyes off me. Does he not want me to see his eyes? Then why? He said that if he wanted to know someone's feelings, look at them. Didn't Mas Farhan want me to recognize the representation of his feelings that must have been emanated from his gaze? Ah, what thoughts are coming to my head, O Lord.

“That's the words of Mas Farhan's heart, right? Mas Farhan has already started receiving me, huh?”

“Tuh, ‘kan. Mothers, really, really, really. One word is long.”

Listen to Mas Farhan's words. I kept asking for answers to my questions just now, but they were not answered. Mas Farhan looked at me more and more horror.

All right, better give up. Maybe it's not time I heard the confession come out of his mouth.

“Iya, yes, Mas. I change clothes first.”

Snoring hard enough, Mas Farhan then distanced both of his hands that I just realized to hold on to my shoulders since then. He then went out of the room. Don't forget the message, “Buruan. Don't stay long, or I stay.

Dih, does that know where Mom's grave is, Mas?

...***...

“Where are you going, Wa?” As soon as the room came out, Father's question greeted me.

...***...

Hi, I'm updating again. Don't forget to leave a trace, yeah.

Sweet greetings from me.

Sumenep, Madura, East Java

Thursday, 29 July 2021