I'M BETWEEN YOU AND HIM

THE EXPERIENCE OF THE MBAH

I've been determined to strengthen my heart for a while here. Digubug Mbah Kardi in the middle of dense settlement of cold and gloomy tombs.

But it turns out my heart is not that strong either. Just late at night, his dark aura gave goosebumps of rome feathers. Hadeeeuh. Suffering fear.

"Well, isn't there electricity here?" ask me after the night gets darker.

"Several years ever installed from the surau earlier, tp cable is often broken mas. Instead of being dangerous to children passing through the cable break it, yes the Mbah pull again."

"So that night is the same as this dark-dark-dark mbok?"

"Yes we most install clenting, lamps aja mas! But too accustomed."

O my God! ... Among the thousands of tombs, in a small, worn-out hut, only a small lamp whose light of fire sometimes wiggled because of the gusts of wind that came through the cracks of the room. Oh God! Why am I like this? Can you get here? Find what am I? Hhh... The way of human life is unpredictable.

Though my life in Jakarta is not too difficult. Though my situation despite being in the wilderness and nicknamed the city of stepmother but not too languid.

But now I'm here. Between the Mbah and the old mbok. Seeing and witnessing for myself the lives of those who haven't even been a day I'm here seems like I'm going to wave my hand to surrender. Hhh... This is the gratitude that I should say to Allah SWT because He is the Creator who knows the limits of the abilities of all his people. Subhanallah.

My hair again bristled to hear strange sounds outside the hut. Actually I do not want to tell this phase, in my life story this is not a horror story but whatever because it is this way. I'm scared to spend my day here, too.

"Bah, I sleep in the middle of you guys?" I said slowly trying to sneak in between the two kind-hearted parents.

"Why, lanang boy? Hehehehe..fear huh? Ignore it! They just want Lee's acquaintances!" the Mbah teased me making my nyaliku more shriveled.

"Bah, don't talk about it dong! I'm really scared." I entered into the old body of the Mbah. Drowns my face beside his chest. Aisssh...! Damnit damnit! I'm a 42-year-old man, but I act like a 4-year-old. Hhhh, shame on me!

"The world is full of mysteries! Do not interfere with each other and try to ally with a creature called Satan. But do not be afraid because we have God. The problem of fate, we decide ourselves which way we choose. Holding fast in the name of God. God willing, we will not be lost and misled by demons, especially temptresses of faith. Bismillah, in the name of God we take refuge from the temptation of the cursed shetan."

Subhanallah. After Mbah Kardi. I suddenly felt a warm aura. A sense of loneliness, frightening gripping sounds disappeared instantly changing a calm heart. Making slowly drowsiness come to sleep next to the Mbah and the mbok.

I was shocked when the Mbah pulled my big toe.

"Body, mom! Yuk, up!"

Alhamdulillahot... I can sleep without dreams. I felt my body a bit sore because I was not used to sleeping on bamboo without a mattress and a pillow.

Oh God! Thank you for the life you gave us today, God! May tomorrow I still be grateful for Your gift to me. Aamiins.

We were joking along a small path, paddy field. The atmosphere is still dark but not slippery because it is now entering the dry season. Unimaginable when in the rainy season, the Mbah walks alone joking with muddy roads. By Allah!

"Well, don't you have the desire to change your life? Change fate?"

I am touched by the sweet words of the Mbah. Very simple but romantic. Maybe this is called love at the age of twilight. Not just thinking about lust. No longer seeking worldly pleasures. Especially wild looking sexy.

But in big cities more often I see the face of old men with old stature, but still like wara-wiri looking for a moment of beauty. Not to mention the middle-aged women, who were busy crying because they were disappointed by the poet and became female demons just to get their own satisfaction. Maybe it was their choice. Like us. Like Ranti. Like me too. Whatever the choice. It all goes back to the path we chose.

This morning we only had breakfast a plate of tiwul eaten by three. Oh, my God, mys is. But it turns out tiwul is quite filling. Drink the original tea made by the mbok with palm sugar that is delicious is also original made by the Mbah.

It turns out that behind the old body of the Mbah, still stored great energy. The Mbah is still swiftly climbing the coconut tree. Coconut tree! Oh Allah....! I alone who was this old could not and never climbed a coconut tree. This is the mbah? With his nimble hand holding a sharp machete made me flutter watching it below. The Mbah said, this is a job every day. Take the water.

There can be 3 to 5 trees every day if it is not raining. After that, the water is cooked mbok mbok in the firewood furnace behind the hue until it becomes a delicious and delicious brown sugar dough. Sugar that has been so if a lot, the exchange mbok in the nearest stall with the basic food. Subhanallah!

Occasionally the Mbah also participated in nandur in the rice fields owned by residents. But the past year is no longer because of his back that likes pain if too long bent to plant rice.

If someone dies, the Mbah and some residents dig the ground for the grave. From there sometimes the Mbah can have money or rice from the wages of digging the grave.

Hhh.... Following the days of Mbah Kardi and mbok Sartijah here is the most valuable experience of my life. I never felt this hard life.

I used to cry for the fate of being born in the midst of a poor family. Among the many family problems. I was just drowning in disappointment. True to Ranti's words, I was too busy lamenting my sad fate that I thirsted for affection and thought only of myself. I was busy looking for my love and happiness. I always take refuge in a mask of sadness luring people to pity and pity. But I forgot, I should also be able to see the other side of people as well. Although I am good, but it turns out that all this time my kindness was camouflage. I really want the rewards of my kindness. In my subconscious, that's what Ranti meant. Now I know.

Now I realize after seeing Mbah Kardi's life. Genuine kindness is selfless and does not think much less expect a reward, it turns out to play a big role in the coming of calm that brings happiness. All of God has arranged so great. Subhanallah! Most Holy of Allah with all its rules and regulations.

Alhamdulillah, I am quite at home living in the Mbah club. Although it was so heavy at first, but after I lived it was short. Away from the hustle and noise of the frenetic big city. Far from a strong sense of desire to be big and become a person who is no longer underestimated. Now I am more relaxed and calm living my fate. I keep fighting life but not too ngoyo make the heart disappointed if not achieved desire.

Sometimes I help the mbah when someone dies. Become a grave digger. The Mbah gave me a lot of input and advice on good and right digging procedures. Because the fact that humans die is not just a carcass. But there is a way that God requires as a tribute to the mayyit.

I also like to sit with the kids. Learn more about teaching and studying life. How Allah is Great.

Sometimes I learn to fix the Mbah that reot. Buy some citizen trees to replace the fragile wood mbah. Occasionally I also go to the city streets just withdraw money at the ATM available minimarket. Buy equipment such as saws, hammers also nails to fix the mbah.

I am fasting on Monday with my parents. They have lived it for decades. Subhanallah!

My hair and mustache and beard, plus my shrinking weight made me like a hermit. Hhhhh.., no longer busy self-nurturing. There is no mirror here to just reflect how I look now.

I don't feel like I've been through more than 5 months with the Mbah and the mbok. The day after tomorrow we will enter the month of Ramadan. The mbah admonished me to go home soon. I still want to be here. Enjoy a relaxing life without much thought. But the mbah said, I was less dear to my father because my heart wound is still scarred.

I'm just pensive. I don't feel like I have a grudge against Dad. I just always remember my father's words, that the man should be strong. Because someday I will be the leader of the family. Making a living for a wife's child. But I forget, children not only need food, clothing and clothing. Children also need affection, comfort and also words of pride. Children also need the shoulders and stretch of their parents even though they are big. Children also sometimes want to cry in the arms of parents who give him protection even though the child is an adult. That'sthat's all. Because I never got that from dad.

My father has always supported me, supported me and prayed for me to achieve my life goals. But I was silent and even angry when I was down and crying alone. That was my disappointment with Dad. Others not. Instead, I learned from my father how to be a good husband, to be a person who is always passionate.

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