I'M BETWEEN YOU AND HIM

MY LIFE IS HERE

"Wake up! Since you have a phone, your work is more often dumb. Will they continue to stick to those who are out there? Hape is a dajjal for you, you know?.. More mudhorotn than benefits! Shall I throw your phone into the septictank hole??"

"Don't, bang! Yes, yes.sorry! I miss my wife's son, bang!"

"Your nutmeg smell is so bad! Bull shit,***chicken! Come on hunt, Kalapas call you from earlier. Kitchen is too big!"

"Hehehehe..ready bang!"

I am a wasted soul now. Even just imagining loved ones who used to be around me also seems to be unable to. Besides resigning and accepting reality, what else can I do now. Besides living my days well in this cell.

I am getting busy with all the activities. Bang Sobri said, The imagination will only make me fly farther and farther. People can be evil with just a fantasy. The mind becomes mummified too even if it is just a fantasy. That's bang Sobri's word! I just according. Because I think there's a point, too. If I've seen my wife post any event it's just her cooking today, or the cozy place she came to. ., I baper his papers. I imagined Ranti with my high imagination. Makes my brain hot and my nafs up. I became lazy to do anything and dissolved with a high-level delusion. Hhh....

But I salute, my wife is not interested in posting her face at all or her full self. Except the occasional orange, with its sweet style that makes me gereget miss half to death on my only way with Ranti.

Also the words of Ranti's post, never once did she reveal the taste. Be it sadness, let alone turmoil. Just a smile and happiness emoji that he always spread. Sometimes even a little reply in the comments column if some friends are commenting on the post. Ah, my grown-up Rant!

"When!! I have long been rukyah! Bengong mulu your work!!" Again bang Sobri surprised me. I smiled with a scratch on my head, though it didn't itch.

A few days, almost a week, my phone died without a pulse. No money because there is no income. The warden said, our accessories are not good marketing this week. I can only smile wryly.

Bang Sobri just smiled broadly satisfied because I returned to being a primitive man like himself who had no internet connection. Hhh.... What power!

I go back to school every afternoon and evening. Refocused with the hataman Qur'anku which is quite enough to launch memorization and short reading harakat.

True, the world is but a momentary lust. As is love that is sometimes overflowing, full and yawning. So is faith. There was a full time when the lowbatt. Kind of hape, bang Sobri said. Therefore, it is our duty to carry it out. What it's like. There will never be an end to chasing the passions of the world. There will be no satisfaction. Even the love that is flattered by many lovers can be moved and lost somewhere, except the love of God for every servant.

I don't feel like I'm giving you any good news. My prison term will end in a month, he said. A month earlier than I expected due to my good behavior during detention.

Honestly hearing the good news I was confused. Where will I go after I get out of here. How will my life be after I get out of here. Hhh.... I swallowed a mouthful of excitement.

Go home to my parents? Or go find Ranti and Orange? Or where?... I really don't know!

Bang Sobri gave me a lot of encouragement for my provisions, he said.

"Don't look back, Dika! But look ahead. The way forward is not silent in place. So good person, throw away all bad. Take his silver and leave his mudhorot."

"I'm glad to see you here! I learned a lot from my brother about everything. Especially sincerity and sincerity in living life and accepting the destiny of God. Thank you, bang!"

"I'm not happy, Dika! Because we met in not a good place. But this is where all the ugliness and depravity of morals and souls gather here! But I am grateful, there is a side of kindness that can be a lesson between us! If there is a long life and Allah is pleased to meet again, I would like to see you in a place of kindness."

"Aamiin.ay Allah! Thanks, bang!"

I hugged bang Sobri for the last farewell. My tears flowed because the weight left him and all that was good to me.

At 9am when a warden accompanied me out of the gate. Just like in a movie. It turns out this is how it feels. Empty and scared.

I'm just alone. No one's picking up. No one is welcoming. Hhh... slice me up!

I wobbled to find out there might be someone I knew waiting for me. But it didn't. The streets are deserted. And yet again the emptiness rippled through my deepest heart. I feel so lonely.

Backpack I held tightly. Mr. Erwin the central Kalapas gave me a box. It turned out to be my important letters. KTP, SIM, also some of my ATM cards first. Also my freedom letter.

I still have to report every month for the next 3 months. And it is commonplace to do for pesantren alumni after graduating from the alma mater.

Before stepping towards my destination, I took my foot to a mosque not so far from Rutan Salemba. Across. I'm gonna take a shower on the marbot over there. Alhamdulillah approved.

The marbot saw me coming out of the gate and asked me carefully if I was a free prisoner today. I nodded with a bow.

It turns out he was a kind person. He went into the mosque room, gave me a new set of clothes and also a long prayer mat. I am overwhelmed by his kindness.

"Hopefully with this shirt, brother becomes a new person. Who no longer repeats mistakes as in the past."

"Mas is very good with me. May Allah repay all the goodness! I was very moved, but I did not know me, nor did I know if I was a good person or a bad person. I just got out of that gate an hour ago. When I was not confident and doubted that there were good people in the world, God showed it to me. Mas is that good guy. Thank you very much, ma'am!"

"Together, bang! Is anyone picking up? Or is your brother not from Jakarta?" ask again.

"I was born in Jakarta. But my mother died 10 years ago. My father is old, so I deliberately hagabarin him."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be very happy with your brother's return! The spirit bang! I believe no one wants to be a bad person!"

"Hehehe..iya mas! Again, thank you very much for all your help to me. Thank you, I'm saying goodbye!" I regretted it and walked out with a calmer heart. Kurogoh my backpack, looking for some money sheets that I always slip there when getting sustenance. I put a piece of twenty-thousand I rolled into the mosque's coffin.

Oh God! Let me step onto the right path. Make all my affairs easy and lighten all my circumstances.

I'm going in no direction. Trying to find a counter just to buy a pulse. Maybe the goggle map can lead me where the nearest BNI bank can take care of my ATMs. Just checking, if I can still use or already invalid.

Finally I can take care of everything smoothly without any obstacles. One of my ATMs is up and blocked because of the minimal balance. Looks like it was my ATM containing Vika's money the other day.

Thank God one of my ATMs can still be used after changing the card because it has expired its active period. There's still 9 million left. Alhamdulillahot.

"Sir Dika! You also still receive quarterly interest from deposits you have in our bank!" said the beautiful sister in the service center explained to me. I'm termangu.

I remember my deposit of 30 million. It turns out that Ranti has not fiddled with it to be thawed. Though he could have melted it himself he is my heir and I have also made a power of attorney for him at the beginning of prison, to be used Ranti if at any time he needs the letter.

I nodded at the young teller. The deposit I made was automatic. So no need to be extended or waiting for maturity to be disbursed. But the deposit book was still put together other securities in our former home. Maybe Ranti kept it with my school diplomas, too.

I'm looking for fb Ranti. Trying to ask for friendship. After that, continue the journey that is not yet clear direction.

I'm just wara-wiri down the street. Occasionally try to take a public transport bus just to pass the time.

I want a quick night. Because I want to visit my father in the New Depok area. If I leave now-now, I'm afraid the neighborhood of the father's house becomes rowdy because there are former inmates who enter the area. I'm nervous about my status as an ex-con. I also don't want my father and sisters to be the subject of gossip. For that I held myself back to my father's house in this hole.

Kususuri Red Bridge road. Lots of printing and screen printing along the way. Many people go back and forth with their respective activities.

My hungry stomach can't compromise. There was a chicken noodle cart not too crowded to make me stop my steps and order a serving of chicken noodles.

There are some young people who also sit with me to enjoy the pleasure of chicken noodles that almost 2 years I did not eat. They're having a conversation that I don't want to hear.

The point is they talk about a lot of work piling up because of a lot of orders. While their boss told to look for additional people for daily work as long as the order stacking has not been completed.

"Mas! Find people to do freelance day jobs, right? Can I try ga?" I tried to offer myself. They don't immediately agree. Just shut up and look at each other. I get it, they don't know me.

"I've been screen printing clothes and benner just a long time. Who knows I could be seconded!"

They smile at me. After finishing eating, I was invited to meet the boss printed their screen printing.

Thank God, today God has truly lightened my affairs. I went to work just a few hours out of the prison gate.

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