I'M BETWEEN YOU AND HIM

IS THIS HEART STILL BETWEEN YOU AND HIM?

Salemba's days were heavier than my day in a police detention cell. Here we consist of several people in one field. Even my first day I got a raw bogem welcome right on my left eye because they apparently knew my case of impregnating people's wives.

Fortunately, I had also studied silat for several months in the White Rhino during Junior High. At least my next days will not be months of inmates looking down on my case. Because here it turns out there are clusters adapted to the cases that ensnare them until they "give gifts" stay at the hotel prodeo.

What a hard start for me. Especially my psychic who is also down because no one is standing next to me, accompanying let alone defending me.

Even Vika only visited me once a month on the grounds that she did not have the money to see me here. Hhh... What a cruel world to me! Not even my family has ever come to see me. I don't understand if my father and brothers, who are just three, don't know about my next move or if they've 'dumped me' from their family list. Hhh..... I can only stare sadly at the dull and dirty prison bars a lot upil from the inmates here.

A month feels like a year to me. Wall clocks move so slowly to change night to day. I'm lonely.

I started learning bad things. Play gapleh, play koprok, even sometimes if there is a friend of inmates who are 'rich' because of delivery or have a covert business, we are busy to taste the cigarette' to ease the burden of our broken minds and souls. Sometimes there is also sabu. Oh..!!!

I just found out, it turns out the cell also has a sparkling night world. Especially if we have money and power. Living in a slump here can also buy a little luxury and indulgence. Aiiissh....! I got carried away and washed away in the misfortune of life.

I am overwhelmed by the seduction and persuasion of my comrades in arms here. I stepped to the left. Without anyone to advise let alone give me the warmth of family.

Whereas since childhood I have been trapped in the hard life of the market. Between the thugs and the wild rogues. Players and drunkards too. But never once bersit for me lulled into their perverse flow. I just focused on making money on the sidelines of my school hours. I've sold crackers, stage porters, even part-time work at the grocery store around the market. I live my life right. I recite the Qur'an every month of Ramadan. Of course my obligatory fasts have never been neglected. So does the five-time prayer.

The old me is now lost. I am lazy to do my duty as a believer. My soul is completely replaced!

Vika, Ranti, Orange..... How are you guys doing? Hope you guys are okay out there. May you live your life without me. The orange! Sorry papa, Son! Papa stamped your face into a son of a prisoner for papa's fault! Sorry, thousands of sorry!

My tears have drained away until these eyes are so haggard and no longer shining. I miss my wife's son! I miss my mistress. Even now I miss my beautiful young and polite assistant, Cecillia. Ahhh....!

We have a positive side here too. There are places for us to channel our talents and hobbies. There are lathes, sewing machines, even souvenir accessories making machines. We got a schedule after each of the tasks that the warden had arranged.

I like the kitchen. Cooking and sometimes making snacks to please worms in the stomach of hungry guards.

Sometimes I also hang out in the souvenir shop. Making some souvenirs whose proceeds are channeled to social parlors for sale and the proceeds are donated.

....

Ranti, Vika..... It's my 200th night in custody. The stuffy plastic that smells of urine and also the dirt that crusts. 12 Inmates from various cases. And luckily, we're getting along with each other in this moment.

Is my heart still among you? Is my love still sweetly stored in you guys? Does this body still remember your thoughts?... Again, I just shed tears.

Ranti never once visited me. While Vika, it's been almost 3 months no longer on my side. I'm really poor in treasure and compassion. Hhh....

I miss Ranti's good hand massage. I also miss the delicious Vika cuisine. Where're y'all? Do you remember me? Do you miss me too?... I'm the man you both flattered and proud of first. I am a great man that you want to have even as big as my flaws. That was it, wasn't it? What about now? Ranti? Vika?.... Please.., listen to this roaring cry of my heart.

I slept all day. Because today I am upset with everything. Even a warden almost got my jotos for reprimanding me who was idling on a dull floor cold with a thin floor mattress.

"Don't, Badik! Inget, bad behavior can add to your prison time!" hardik a friend of mine made me realize.

Finally Rubber alibi if I'm having a headache so just sleep until it makes the warden deliver paracetamol and analgesics for me.

'Badik' is my famous name in the cell. Here we have other names besides the prisoner number and real name.

After swallowing each one of the grains, I completely fell asleep on the seventh-smelling floor. I finally forgot about my sadness remembering Ranti and Vika. I can rest up to a few hours.

Suddenly I woke up after I felt a hard blow hit my back. I got up to sit. I felt a lot of pain in my back and shoulders.

Uh!... I jerked. My left hand is hollow, I can't give it. So is my left foot. I can't feel the limp. I screamed as loud as I made some of my nap friends come up to me and some even shook my head.

I screamed again. I feel like my left eye is hard to open. I shiver in fear.

I don't feel the 'feel' on my part!

"Try to look at my face!" I screamed loudly half-stomping.

"Gape your face??"

"Eh, Badass! Your face comes down next door! Those ama eyes your lips kenape?"

"Hand my feet too, Juk!" I said again trembling.

They immediately reported to the warden on duty. I was being carried in a UKS room. Checked by the doctor in custody. And was sentenced to moderate stroke. Next to my body is numb and I can't deliver it.

Yes Tuhaaan!! What other punishment did you give me??? Oh, my God, my God!!!

....

I roared, crying so much. I'm the one who's sickly as an inmate now plus the patient in the truest sense. My prison time is only half way. I have only been languishing for 7 months. Still for a long time can breathe the air of freedom. Ohhhoo!!!!

On the advice of the doctor and the kindness of the warden's head because I've always behaved well, I transferred a resistance that was a little better than where I used to be. Cleaner and brighter lighting. I transferred the front seat next to the mosque.

Again, the reception is not good I have to experience again. And now I'm really down because of this damn disease so I can barely fight the actions of my fellow prisoners in my new breath. I can only resignedly accept slap after slap as a 'friend greeting' from them.

"Don't hit him again!" said someone with a firm and loud voice. A father my age helped me. Help me to walk that drags you next to my paralyzed foot. Strangely, all silence no longer bullies me.

But suddenly the father beat me so hard that I fell down with my left lip torn and bleeding. The father just smirked with satisfaction.

"How does it feel to kiss with affection?" tanyanya while bringing her face that seemed weak to my face made me swallow. Nervous.

"Wake up! Shower now! Azan Zuhur soon!Clean up that filthy body!... And you, let this young man be my business. Agreed?" he said full of intimidation. The others nodded their triumphant smiles.

I wept lamenting the fate on the sidelines of my bath which was only obstructed by a dull sack of rice taped to an old frame pole. I'm not free with my current body. My movements were so limited that I struggled to do activities even if only wearing clothes.

"Maybe in your previous breath you are too good.until it can be like this!" ledek the father made me broke to hold back the crying that had just now. He sprinkled me with two black broom sticks until my thighs immediately turned red.

"Basar bawdy boy! I thought 7 months of languishing here made you a hotshot! It turns out cemen, just so much of your prowess! Haha...."

I bit my lower lip. Trying to hold back my sadness and my tears.

"Wake up! Let's go to the mosque! If you defy, I won't hesitate to trace your club foot!"

I obeyed his orders. With all my strength, I dragged one of my feet that felt so heavy. Some inmates chuckled at my suffering. What a life like in the colonial era! Bathinku wept bitterly.

We entered the mosque which turned out to be so vast inside. As long as I enter the bui here, I haven't even set foot in this mosque. In addition to the distance away from my previous page, also I who have been lazy to meet my Creator.

The man stood in front of the pulpit. Turn on the mic and loudspeakers of the mosque. Then he uttered an adhan that sounded shahdu in my ears. My tears flowed without stopping. Continues and continues to drip unbearably.

Oh God, is this how you love me?... I bowed down in tears until the chanting of the father Zuhur Adhan that I did not know his name was over.

In a row