I'M BETWEEN YOU AND HIM

LOST IN THE LIGHT

I intend to take Ranti home after the event is over. Very confident because everyone closest to me supported my efforts in the phase of approaching Ranti. Especially my father. He did not show it clearly. But from the gesture and his gaze as if father gave me permission to keep mopping Ranti get her attention again.

I drove Ranti in a new office car. Ranti sat next to me while holding the orange that was sleeping very well.

Randy! Want to stop by first, have lunch?" I try to give him more attention.

"Thank you, ma'am! I'm still full, I ate meatballs and siomay got your office food."

"You wanna stop by the supermarket first? Who knew there was something you wanted to buy?"

"thank you. The orange is sleeping. I'm going to take you home, ma'am!"

Hhh.... It's hard to be sweet with Ranti now.

"You seen khan? Our company name, Rainbow Orange. Do you like that name?" I try to actively ask her questions. Because Ranti looks not enthusiastic to connect the conversation with me.

"Yes. Thank you." Thank you." That all? Is that your answer, Ranti? You should smile with a bright face and sparkling eyes. Continue your words with the words 'you are great, mas! I'm proud of you!'.

Hhh....!!!

"Replace! After our company stabilizes and looks to increase its sales diomset, will you go with me? With Orange too. We're going to seaworld. Want huh? I want to see a happy orange after seeing the fish there."

Ranti. Look at me and say, "Sorry! I dare not promise!"

"Why, Ranti? For the happiness of the orange, let us create a harmonious atmosphere as well."

Ranti was silent again not answering me. He opened his small bag that was overstressed by an orange. I picked up my phone and was busy reading the messages. I just sighed. Chaos and gamang.

Ranti is engrossed in hp. Although one hand supports the body of Orange, but Ranti can use one more hand to type and answer the message dihpnya.

"There's an order?" I try to be gentle and polite too.

"Not."

"Message from a friend?" I was a bit surprised because the spontaneous question words came out of my lips. I cursed in my heart. Though I have promised not to interfere too much with Ranti's life. I trust him a lot. But why is my curiosity too big for him.

"From Abi."

"A, abi?.. You guys still like chatt-an?" tanyaku.

"Our relationship is fine, ma'am!"

"Mmmh...then..mmmm, about you asking me to prove my love to you....mmmm seriously khan?"

"Hahahaha..what the hell is mas? You're like an SD kid, by the way!" Ranti laughed.

"Serious Ranti! Seriously asked you to come back to me. Ilove you. I love you even more now than ever. I'm brave because now I'm confident in revealing everything to you because I'm not as poor as I was when I got out of jail. I have a decent job. I'm sure I can make you happy. Mmh?"

"Mas! We'll talk at home later. You're driving. Better focus on the road. Okay?"

We were both silent with our own thoughts. I was nervous to see Ranti's cold and flat response. But I'm sure Ranti was touched by my open expression of love in public earlier.

Hhh...

Ranti got out of the car and thanked me. I just nodded down and followed him. Ranti... I'm waiting for an answer from you! My little heart whispered.

"Aren't you back at the office, mom?"

"Today I'm done. Rosa, Mas Anang and the others had also returned home. We're just gonna start working tomorrow."

"You want to go straight home?" I asked him, immediately with a look in the eye. Ranti understood what I meant. He let me in and sat in the guest room while he took Orange to the room to put it on the bed.

"Mas! I'm proud of you. As the father of Orange, you look perfect and extraordinary. Congratulations on your hard work and your perseverance!" I blushed in shame. Finally my Rant admitted to me. Acknowledging my whereabouts as well as all that I have done for him and for the Orange.

"Replace! I can stand up straight without looking down again. I already have my own company although small and has not seen its progress. I, once again I want to ask you to be my wife. I want us to start a new life with a new person and a new atmosphere. Let's forget the past, Ranti! I will never fall again into the same hole, which makes your heart sad again. I promise you, Ranti!"

Ranti. Playing the end of his tunic irregularly.

"Sorry, mom! I can't be with you back." she replied briefly but clearly heard from me.

My heart stopped beating. My mind stopped spinning. Ranti, reject me.

"Why, Ranti? Is your heart still hurting because of me? I will heal the wounds I have made, Ranti! Trust me. The future is waiting for us! Let's hold my hand! I'll hold your fingers tight. I'll never leave again."

"You are a kind, loving and responsible man. You are also optimistic about the future. You are so determined and determined to fight for your desires. You are a true perfectionist. You haven't changed at all, mom! I salute you!"

"But I've changed, ma'am! I've metamorphosed like I am today. Your once innocent, innocent, sweet and obedient spirit is now dead. This is me mas! Ranti is now. The critical will always argue with you if one of your words is wrong in my eyes. I'm more selfish than Ranti was. I was no longer sweet, silent, looking down, nodding, smiling and tailing you from behind like a beloved poodle. I'm afraid you can't accept me now!"

"I'll accept you, Ranti! Like whatever you are now and then. Let's hold hands against all the obstacles and obstacles that confront our love."

"You didn't change, only I changed. What if you end up disappointed and hate me, my present attitude. You will come back to regret. Until again tempted to see the greener neighboring grass. I don't want us to be more broken, mas!"

"We won't be destroyed again, Ranti! Believe that! You and I are more mature. With bitter experience we can be wiser to deal with it." Ranti kept her head down not looking at me.

"I can't and won't, ma'am!"

"Why, baby? You can replace the Orange Rainbow company with your name. Operate over all the assets I have, just for you and Orange. I gave you full rights there with Rosa and Mas Anang. You have absolute rights. You can even work with a choice of positions that you like. How's it?"

"Thank you for supporting me so highly. Thank you, mama! But I'm sorry, I don't want to accept you anymore."

"Why? My struggle is lacking? My sacrifice is still a little for you? Please, Ranti!... I will always take you. I wouldn't selfishly force you to rush. I know you need time. It's okay, I'm waiting for you, baby!"

"Don't wait for me, my mom!"

"Do you prefer Sofyan Ali?"

"I'm still on good terms with Abi. But not because of him either, I rejected you. I don't want to be afraid of my soul mate. But I firmly ask God not to be united with you in the household. Because if I really chose you and accepted you, it would all come back the same. Again and again. I don't want my subconscious to control me. I will definitely get revenge if I come back with you. Without me knowing, I would dare to act to hurt you to treat as well as remove my wounds. I don't want that to happen, Mom! I don't want to be locked up in a shackled grudge. You understand what I mean, mas?"

"There's been a lot of suffering I've seen, man! From the experience of those around us, from your experience, from my own. I also saw the painful sadness of resentment that continues to flare even though sometimes dead but easily rekindled. I saw Arif, Vika, all living a life of grudge and hurting each other."

"Ranti, we are different from them. We have sincerity to live love."

"That was, mom! We have that sincerity first, even if the foundation is not strong. But now...., I doubt my own sincerity mas! My heart was hurt deep. My heart is still healing. I don't want to be evil to you to heal your heart's wounds because of you. I'm finally no better than you maybe even worse off hurting you. As long as we still think clearly together, let's finish everything well, mas! Love must not have. You agree that too khan?"

"I've now dared to fight for you, Ranti! Treasure, all mine.all for you and Orange. We can be happy, Ranti! As we travel, I'm sure your wounds will heal quickly. I'll wrap it up with a lot of love!"

"Tarta does not guarantee one's happiness, mas! Money cannot buy a person's heart. It is true, we women sometimes focus more on the comfort and security of our lives by relying on money. But money is not everything to us either! Our hearts are expensive and not just anyone can have. But because it is made of the beautiful and special marble that God created for us, it can be fragile, broken and broken scattered. And not a noble, a tyrant, a millionaire who can take care of our alabaster heart. But someone of noble heart who is able to take care of, protect and care for us carefully until still beautiful sparkling amazes everyone. To be the pride of the noble-hearted man who owns it, mas! We do love treasures, but we women don't all like their sparkle. Especially if the sparkle hurts our eyes, especially our hearts. Learn more about the whole woman! Even our religion flatters women three times as much as men. Because of women, good country. Although not a few women are also the cause of world destruction. You are the men who have the right to choose which woman is to taste. And I don't fit in with you who are energetic and ambitious to conquer the world. I'm just an ordinary woman, who likes simplicity and peace. But now I am more selfish and more determined in choosing the step I will go through. I no longer passively accept the path God has given me! I believe that God has arranged my way of life according to Him. Your way of life, too, mas!"

My tears only melted hearing Ranti's long words filled it. I was completely lost in the light. I died in a crowd. I lost even though I put all my energy and wealth. It turns out that everything has really disappeared without a trace for Ranti. All our sweet memories, nothing left in Ranti's eyes. Even if only for the happiness of Orange by reuniting us as a married couple, papah and mama who live in the house, no longer in Ranti's mind.

"You'll definitely get better than me, man! Youcan. Let's pray for each other's kindness and get rid of all the heartache as well as prolonged grudges. Let's not hurt each other any further. Let us be wise to be parents who are proud of Orange even though we are no longer together. I can only offer you fraternity because of Orange, mas!"

"Later!... Is this the ending of revenge your heartache on me?"

"This is not my revenge, my mother! I avoided it by not accepting you. Don't you understand my words, Mom? It's a sign that you love yourself and the world completely because you're disappointed with my answer. You will continue to be disappointed and hurt because of your shallow thoughts about me!"

I stepped up with a heart and mind empty leaving Ranti. This is the heaviest blow to me even heavier than the judge's sentence when sentenced to 2 years in prison. I limp for a moment. Just sitting quietly in the car with empty eyes ahead. Refinery in the light.

In a row