I'M BETWEEN YOU AND HIM

MOURNING DAY

My days are busy wara-wiri to hunt all the places that certainly continue with my efforts. It doesn't seem easy. In addition to having to really understand the ins and outs of the business world, also have to be smart and observant with whom we can work together to get the best results.

I myself am very careful and meticulous considering that the money I will donate is not my personal money, but is the capital money of Anjar Pak former Dirutku in the company where I work.

Of course, I was afraid to disappoint him and could not carelessly manage it.

A week more but it's been so draining of my energy and my mind. Sometimes I discuss with Rosa via smartphone and ask her to observe and recommend small companies that make tools and machines to open my cooperation with them.

I know Rosa is also busy in her workplace as Marketing Manager, plus she is also a wife and mother of 2 twins. For that I only ask for time at night. And just checking, mericek and give me input in order to get a partner who is dedicated to me to make my partner work later.

Tonight the hawaii feels different. The weather is rather hot even though it still often rains even if only drizzle for a moment.

After praying Isya suddenly hpku rang several times. When I lifted up, there was a sobbing sound there.

"Ranti???"

"Mas...., I'm gone!"

"Mr???"

"Yes, that was before Isha's Adhan. Exactly 7 hours less than 15 minutes."

"Where is it now, Ranti?"

"In Bojong, mas! In my house. I've been sick for a week and in my place again."

"Innalillahi wa inna illaihi.. I'll be there now! Patience, yes.... Who's next to you?"

"There are a lot of neighbors, they're all good to me. Hardi and Gina are also on their way here."

"Yes, I'll hang up your phone! Hardcore yes, Ranti.. I know this is very heavy.. I'm leaving soon!"

Tuuut tuuut.

My father-in-law has passed away the divine lap. And Ranti was alone crying no one was accompanying. I hurried to change my clothes. Take my wallet and motor ignition.

Jabrik has not returned from work. I just left a message to Hana who hasn't come home yet because she's still so excited to watch her favorite soap opera on television. He really prefers to watch here because there is no interference from his sisters.

"Hana, please tell me to Jabrik ya.., tonight my brother went home to Bojong Gede. My father-in-law passed away. Maybe tomorrow or the day after you just come home!"

"Innalillah.... Iye bang! Get off the road!"

I was flying as fast as lightning. Chasing time measures the way to get to the destination quickly.

Hugging Ranti who is so fragile makes my true male soul come out by itself. He seemed to forget our current status which is only ex-husband and wife. I patted her shoulders slowly. Giving him a cool look so that Ranti does not get worse in grief.

I hurried over to the stiff body lying before me. It was like a dream to see this. I had so many moments with him, my father-in-law. Whether it's a happy event or a sad event. I shed tears but I can still control my emotions.

I whispered a lot of sorry words in her ear. Although the body is no longer noisy, but I am sure.bapak can still see me. Hearing my apology. For hurting her by wasting her daughter.

I held the orange that was crying because it was uncomfortable with this situation. Where many people pray for their father. Ranti still sits limp in front of the father while occasionally thanking the guests who expressed their condolences to him.

Whichever we are to him, only Allah is fully entitled to him and to all of us. Age is His absolute power. As much and as hard as we ask, no servant can escape His Will for the age He gave and how much we want to have. When the time comes, as high and strong as anything, will not be able to refuse from death. That is God's destiny.

The night is getting late with the increasing presence of relatives and friends who are grateful to us, especially Ranti and family.

Sofyan Ali is one of them. The young adult was clinging directly to Ranti like a wart. He showed all the good sides in front of Ranti and her family. Giving so much support and encouragement personally to Ranti. Between happy, sad and jealous. What is my day now. I'm just Ranti's ex-husband. Can not say anything but uncomfortable to see their togetherness and closeness. Maybe I just have to wait for the time to watch the two kabul become husband and wife.

Even his family came to pay special attention to Ranti. I'm getting sidelined too. Like fools in the midst of their families, but I still suppress my feelings as my last homage to my father-in-law. That's resolve.

I'll stay here until tomorrow when your funeral is over. I'll pretend to see their affection because I'm nobody. Except papa from Orange. My son with Ranti Mulia. The grandson of the late father Sadeli bin Hanafi.

Hardi invited me to decide on my father's funeral procession. Finally we agreed to bury the body of the father in the public cemetery Bojong Gede not far from the housing Ranti.

I'm quick to back up everything. Serious conversation with the Chairman of Neighborhood and Local Residents. Trying to ask for help to connect the tongue of Ranti's family in taking care of the father's body and his funeral.

Thank God, the people here are so empathetic and helpful. I told Hardi not to worry. InshaAllah tomorrow you can be cherished well and deserved.

I wasn't focused on Ranti. I focus more on the people and neighbors who help a lot. Buying coffee and cigarettes and a little snack for those who stay with us from sadness.

We all work together to take care of things that will be done tomorrow morning after the dawn prayer. Bathe the body and memorize it. I also did not hesitate to ask local figures such as kiyai and ustad who attended the service asking for advice and advice what we should prepare for tomorrow.

I let Ranti drown with tears of sadness accompanied by Sofyan who sat faithfully. Being jealous is no longer important to me. For me to take care of my father-in-law well and properly and all the prayers in the heart that poured out for him are more important.

Even though I am an ordinary man who is far from perfect. I was on fire when it was raining so hard. I was slashed when the knife and sword were far from my reach. I almost let out a little more emotion because the man who would later become Ranti's husband could only sit sweetly with a beautiful voice without much help doing anything we tough stud men did.

I was even busy preparing tarps and installing curtains for the next procession of the bathhouse. Also Hardi and some residents prepare a barrel and a large bucket to be filled with water so that tomorrow stay used.

If I had not seen the atmosphere around the crowded and compact helping the Ranti family, I have rebuked the Sofyan Ali.

I could only swallow again. I'm just jealous. Can't I be jealous? Doesn't it deserve that feeling in my heart? Who me? I'm not who you are anymore, Ranti! Only outsiders will pray for your happiness.

The night slowly changed. Adhan Fajr has reverberated. I straightened my tingling legs from sitting all night with Yasin's book in hand. Rushed back to the nearest mosque, performing prayers.

My body is clean from hadas. The shroud has now wrapped it. His glowing yellow face made me shed tears again. May you be happy until the end of your life. May God place the Father in the best place on His side. May we meet again in his jannah.

My father and Hera were also seen present berta'ziah this morning. Dad doesn't talk to me much. But his eyes implied a sign that I was the only man their family relied on. I'm ready, dad! answer me in my heart with great firmness.

I again represent Ranti's family saying farewells and thanking the relatives and mourners who followed her to her funeral. I who carried the body of the father into the moringa, recited the Adhan with a vibrating voice and mengi'komatkan it. I do it with a sincere heart because other than Hardi, I am the only adult male in Ranti's family.

Father, if only I could turn back time. I want to turn it back again in my happy times with you. The time when I was still the son-in-law of your pride! A time when I haven't met and known Vika. I would love to turn my steps. Avoiding the disaster that made me fall and fall.... Hhh.... But I also don't want to fight God's destiny. Maybe this is my hand. My written covenant with the Creator. Everything has happened. And everything has been like this. I have accepted this fate with a large chest despite being injured.

The father!... I will always look after Ranti and Hardi even from a distance. I will not let them in trouble. Although now Ranti and I no longer have a bond, but I promise in my heart.... Although Ranti will one day have and be more entitled to her later, I will always be there to take care of her. Father don't worry! Suffice you to tell the Creator, so that we who you leave become better individuals. And always remember to send you a prayer! Aamiin, God!

I washed my face with both hands. Taking ablution after the funeral. One by one people began to leave after saying goodbye and saying a word of comfort to Ranti and her family. I have taken care of it by asking RW sir to arrange everything including giving a little eye sign of our gratitude for helping until all is done. He also asked about our next course. Whether to hold tahlilan or not. I'll make sure we continue with at least 40 days of your father's death. Even with simple yasinan.

I asked Hardi's permission to stay at Ranti's house for up to 3 days. Hardi agreed. Because after all my status is now just an outsider in the eyes of people around. I don't want people to whisper, berghibah that is not good about us. Especially when gossiping to vilify Ranti. I don't want that to happen.

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