I'M BETWEEN YOU AND HIM

WALK ON THE WIND

I just arrived at my rented house at 6. Jabrik and Mul hugged me, but I pushed aside from feeling ashamed of my seven-figure smelly body.

"Bang, where'd you bang? Bang?... Conscious, bang!" Mul kept shaking my body many times. Jabrik held my hand tight. He was so afraid I would run away again.

"I'm gonna take a shower, Mum! My body stinks!" my answer made Mul and Jabrik mention hamdalah together.

"You want to use aer anglet bang?" jabrik asked with a headband.

Mul prepared a towel and a change of clothes for me. He entered my room while covering my nose. This room has been closed for a few days and it's been incubating there.

"Wild, Mul... I'll take a shower and clean it up!" Mul just smiled with his cute style.

"I'm sorry, I've been crazy for a few days! You must be worried about me!"

"Yes, love's crazy. Oh my God, bang! I really have to be kek that gegara love. There's a lot of other girls out there, brow! Idih... Amit-amit I saw your behavior like a 15-year-old boy who was heartbroken!" gerutu Mul made me bow down to shed tears. I am moved by them. They're not my brothers, they're not my men. But they care about me. Thank you God!

Jabrik hit Mul's shoulder looking at me who looked sad.

"Yes, take a shower first! Let's get some rice breakfast first bang?" Jabrik pulled Mul's hand. It sounded faint if he scolded Mul who did not exactly joke to me. Mul just grimaced while smiling widely.

After the shower I sat down with Mul and Jabrik. Enjoy a plate of nasi uduk, complete with a balado of eggs, potato seasoning beans and noodles sprinkled with fried onions and colorful crackers.

My tummy makes my morning meal so greedy that it is not restless. Mul and Jabrik smiled happily.

"Will you go to the office together?" ask Jabrik. Mul and Jabrik are in my office now. They have their own job and job.

"Maybe it's noon, Brik! I have to clean my room first. Please take my message also to Miss Rosa and Mr Anang yes, noon after Zuhr I may just come?!"

"Hp dead brother ran out of batteries... Not in cas yet?" reprimand Mul made me stand looking for two small but important objects in the corner of my room that stink. Meet me! I rushed the mencharger both of them to a contact stop by the door of the room.

"Don't that kayak brother again, bang! The new company is growing. Many orders almost we fail if only bu Rosa the same Pak Anang ga intervening! We are also confused, can not communicate with brother. Brother has us, don't be afraid alone. Brother wants to ngajak we cry together'ah also hayu! We're going with brother!Sad brother, sad we are too. My brother's pain, our suffering too! Don't feel like you're alone here, bang! We all love brother! If you want brother belek nih chest with a sword, in our hearts full of brother's voice, brother's advice. The brother who lifted us out of the dirty puddle. Brother time alone maen mocked in the dirtier. Don't be ye bang!"

I looked down again and cried. Feel how sincere Mul and Jabrik love me. I'm really stupid and crazy if I don't care about myself and them anymore. But I'm fragile. Right now I'm really fragile, Mul, Jabrik!.... I just need a grip and a strong backrest. To be able to support my weak body stand up to you.

Jabrik hit Mul again.

"Sorry brother, huh? Sorry....!"

"Ga nothing, bang! We should be the ones apologizing. We can't understand your feelings! Sorry we bang!" Jabrik took Mul's speaking position.

I took a bucket of water and also the floor cleaner and the brush. My room really stinks because eight days I lost my mind doing everything I wanted to like a bar-bar man.

I lifted the mattress and dried it outside with the help of a table.

Jabrik and Mul went to work. They now have their own motor vehicles. Although still a credit, but I'm proud to see the persistence of his second life.

I continued my work cleaning my room. Tie almost the entire room wall until all wet. The smell of pessing is now changed to fragrant after I poured with a lot of carbolic floor cleaners. I use water-cleaning fiber on the floor. Scrub it up to the terrace. Today my energy was drained a lot. After almost 8 days just tapa geni without drinking and eating.

I feel the freshness with sweat pouring out. I remember Bang Sobri. I will visit him after my room is clean and dry again so that my mattress can be tidied up again with a freshly washed bed sheet.

I looked at the clock at 10 o'clock. Finished and my room came back clean and fragrant. I changed clothes, stopped my motor matic and walked towards the rutan.

I cried hugging bang Sobri. Telling all my heart's sorrows to the smallest thing. I sobbed under his feet. Only bang Sobrilah is the one who can bestow all my suffering. Sometimes he also shed tears. He is the only one I can count on to receive my every complaint. I cried for a long time at his feet. Until we finally classed the table meeting room special family and prisoners.

Bang Sobri hit me hard on the cheek.

"It's still a good thing your ex-wife didn't kill you this shameless!" he said while grinning.

"You forgot, what was my case in prison like this?... I've lost 5 lives at once, brother! My wife, my eldest, my two in-laws and another, my wife's affair. Understand my story up here?... I did it because I was dark in the eyes. I'm angry at them. I was angry at my two in-laws because he saw his son's behavior but didn't rebuke him. I was also angry at my eldest son, but he was an adult and knew his mother's behavior, but still let it go. I was more angry at my wife and their very relaxed affair despite being in front of my parents and children. Whatchu think? Great khan me?... So your position is more or less the same as my wife's. Know it? So you should know yourself and think more clearly not to hurt Ranti deeper and sicker again."

Everything that bang Sobri said made me more aware. The more I open my eyes.

"I told you before we met. Always humble your heart, Dika! If you ever again make a wrong move, quickly come to your senses and return to Him. Apologize to your Creator! God is the only place we ask, Dika! As bad and as sick as it is, just give it back to Him. He will surely replace it with His favor that you did not expect." I hugged bang Sobri's body tight. I feel ashamed in front of him. Though I just remember the case also started from an affair, where bang Sobri was originally a victim to become a defendant.

"That's women. It's so hard to understand! We fight for them. We try to make them happy, though hard and full of struggle. But once we make a stain on his face, he will always remember and point to our mistakes that speck. He forgets how many big holes in our hearts we have sacrificed to make him happy. Hhh.... But I don't blame Ranti and all her actions. I salute your ex-girl. If I were young, I'd love to find one more woman like your ex-wife! Or if I may, I would also like to seek his attention in order to marry him. Ahahaha...!!! You really are a stupid man, Dika! You are fooled by the sparkle of imitation that you find in the class of stone to throw your pure diamond into the black mud. You idiot! Haha...."

Bang Sobri laughed loudly while patting my shoulder.

"If we could switch places, bang! I want to replace you in this prison!" I said just speaking.

"Foolish boy!... You might want to stay here again. Want me to let your sane brain go back to normal?... You can be beaten by selapas if you are surprised by them. You know, how many inmates here want to quickly come out until desperate escape that the impact actually adds to the detention period? Stress you, Dika!"

"I'm like numbness and mind, bang! I want to leave this world if I am not afraid of sin. I have no pride and no pride anymore, bang! Even though I now have money and possessions, they can't help me from this pain. Help me, bang! Please give me advice, so that I can stay conscious and istikomah with my life bang!"

"Then what do you want now?"

"I don't know, bang!"

"And yes, you're dead!"

"I want to die bang, if suicide is not a sin. I'd rather die than live like this."

"Gang!!!"

I kept crying. Like pity to see a lost little boy, bang Sobri just looked at me. Longtime.

"Will you comply with my request?"

"What, bang?"

"Go to the village of Cilempung in Cilamaya."

"Where is that, bang?"

"The location is on the border of Cikampek and Cirebon. Meet Kardi and his wife mbok Sartijah. They lived in public burial areas and did work as grave diggers. Stay with them for some time up to you. You can learn to understand the true meaning of life. With them, you can see how much God loves you, Dika!"

"They're brothers' parents?"

"No. It was they who took care of and buried my wife, son and my two in-laws when the people of the village did not care about me and my family. Do you want to go there?"

"You, bang! How will!"

"alright... I'll write the full address. Just tell me you're my friend. They'll take you well as long as you're good with them."

"Good, bang! I'm going there. Maybe tonight or dawn by train!"

"Urus was all your business here! Don't be a loser who runs away by leaving a lot of burden on the people around!"

"Good, bang! Thank you so much for your enlightenment! I'll see my brother again if I come back later!"

"Call the name of Allah and ask for His blessing from every step of your way! I wish you good wishes, Dika!"

I kissed the back of his hand for a long time. The tears that remain. She smiles and prays for her health. I will walk, even on the wind.

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