I Borrowed Him

The Past of Naomi (2)

*** THIS EPISODE STILL USES A FIRST-PERSON POINT OF VIEW AS NAOMI ***

That morning I left school as usual, but this time somehow I saw Edwin look often staring at me from the rearview mirror in the car with a look of pity. Every now and then when our eyes met, I asked her what was going on but she simply replied "Nothing - what is Miss Naomi, you look so sweet this morning" but I knew it was just a base - stale to cover something from me.

A few minutes later I arrived at school, Edwin opened the door for me and I got out of the car. It's normal when school friends see me getting out of the car, they shout my name and invite me to quickly gather with them. But this leg was heavy to step on and for a moment I turned back to look at Edwin and again - again the gaze of those eyes, in my heart I asked what happened to Nancy and Edwin this morning.

"Friends - your friends have been waiting for Miss Naomi, let's run to meet them" said Edwin at that time, I smiled and did not hesitate again and ran to meet my friends. That day I was at school and my friends made me forget what had happened at home, as if nothing was waiting for me. When school was over I met Edwin again, he drove me to personality school and everything was normal there.

I was used to a busy schedule, so I was out of the house from eight in the morning until six in the afternoon. When my last lesson was I didn't see Edwin pick me back up, though I was surprised to wait for him in the room. Until a few minutes passed Edwin finally came to pick me up with gasping breath, my teacher at that time immediately asked what was the matter but Edwin only replied "Sorry, I'm late to pick up Miss" even though my teacher and I were amazed how it was possible for someone who used a car to gasp like that. But all was answered when I saw Edwin pick me up on a pedal bike at the time.

I asked where my car was, but Edwin just smiled as he said "Miss Naomi forgive Edwin, Miss Naomi's car is in trouble. So Edwin was forced to pick up the lady on this bike, this belonged to the owner of the workshop and hopefully Miss was pleased" to be honest at the time I was angry, but when I saw the struggle Edwin made me unable to anger him. A first experience for me, picked up by a private driver but using a pedal bike.

I don't know how long it took to get home, but maybe because I enjoyed it so much that I just felt tired in the back of my body. Edwin dropped me off at the gate and, unlike usual, "Miss, Edwin has to get back to the car. Edwin hope miss does not mind walking inside by herself" Edwin told me in a tone that seemed to want to cry, I was not sure but at that time I saw her wipe tears. I just nodded and walked into the fence, but again - again my steps stopped and then looked back at Edwin who was still silent while looking at me.

I didn't think it was Edwin's last smile on me, and Edwin turned back on his bike and left me there alone. I kept walking until I got home, all the changes started at that time. Aaah, no, it started in front of the fence I think. Our house looks so dark without a single light, I just think there is an electrical disturbance at home. Frightened, I set my feet in that dark house, by shouting Nancy's name I wish she'd come to see me soon and give me a sense of security and calm me who's frightened by the darkness in that house.

Not a single person came to greet me at that time, to my astonishment I continued walking while turning on the lights of the house. I just realized it turned out that the house was deliberately not lit by the lights, somehow it even makes me panic and wonder - ask what is really.

I also began to run looking - find all the people who are usually in the house and in all the rooms I have been to but the house is completely free - really no longer inhabited. There was one room that I wished I didn't have to go there, a room that my mother loved so much. I don't know why in my little heart it says in the room it's the only room that someone has, but my brain says that inside it's a mother. Maybe that's why I didn't expect it to be my last room to find someone in my house, I'm still afraid my mom would scold me after that.

Mother's bonsai treatment room, a room I never entered because she forbade me. A girl with bar-bar behavior will of course be very dangerous when it comes to being in that room, I don't know how many bonsai pots I'll destroy if I'm left there for an hour. But that was, like, different from today. Slowly this hand opened the entrance of the room and there I found something I had never imagined before, all of my mother's bonsai had been destroyed.

Not wanting to go any deeper, my legs felt petrified and the sight was a disaster for me. I deeply understand how strong mother's desire is to take good care of the bonsai, but this time looking at all of mom's bonsai collections breaking makes my heart ask who dares to do this. In the dark at that time I saw a shadow figure and somehow I immediately knew that it was a mother, I also began to move my feet deeper while continuing to look at the shadow figure.

"Mother?" I said as it tried to make the figure look at me who was right behind him, but no. The figure continued to stare at a last bonsai. When I was so close to that figure, I did see the mother who was staring at the bonsai. "Mother.I went home." I said again to attract the attention of mother but my efforts were in vain, mother did not turn her head in the least. When I saw my mother holding a bonsai scissor in her right hand and a mobile phone in her left hand, I kept trying to call her.

Whether it had been a call how many times but finally mother turned to me, her gaze was empty as if she was desperate for something. "The hospital called me this morning and said Evans was being critical" that was my first sentence when I finally looked at me, my feelings panicked as if my father was going to leave me and my mother at the time. "Why are we still here? let's go see Dad" I said at the time with tears that began to wet my cheeks.

"All the workers in this house have been fired, you can use the rest of the family's property for your benefit" mother said that when I cried to meet father, father, that sentence made me petrified and did not understand what she really wanted to tell me. I just stared in silence at the empty eyes of my mother, but somehow I felt it was also the last day I could meet my mother.

"When I get another call that Evans is dead, I hope you can continue your life on your own" that's mom's last line before her eyes finally hit the final bonsai, I finally found out that it meant that mom would kill herself when she found out that dad died. My feelings are so mixed, I am afraid of my mother but on the other hand I feel that my mother is the only person who can accompany me when my father is no longer there.

"By!!!" with a shout I said it in the midst of the difficulty I spoke because at that time I was crying so bitterly, a word that was like magic to me. Either in his coma you heard my screams or you were actually saved by the team of doctors who handled it. Mom's phone rang after I shouted calling dad, mother slowly picked up her phone and put it on her ear. I was crying all the more - so when that, fear, anger, sadness, and panic became one of my thoughts at the time, I didn't really hear what my mother said on the phone.

Mom hung up and suddenly turned back to look at me, "That's the call from the hospital, the doctor said Evans was improving and made it through his critical period. A miracle because it was a time that could not be passed without a strong desire to stay alive" that mother's sentence when she looked back at me. I just fell silent and still continued to cry, to be honest the wound on my body at that time did not bother me too much but was different from the pain in my heart.

"I love Evans so much more than I love myself even you" the second sentence I remember that night, a sentence that took me by surprise. In general, the presence of children will divert the world of both parents but it seems like the love of mother to father is too big to be diverted by my presence. Even then I could only continue to look at the mother who was staring at me with her blank look, my tears more and more flowing down my cheeks. A love is a strange sentence to me who is twelve years old, but now I understand a little the meaning of the word love someone more than myself. I have also been in that position at this time.

"Are you content to argue with us? satisfied to make Evans like that?!" a question with a snapshot, yes, the third sentence I remember that night. I don't know why I suddenly passed out, maybe because I was dehydrated, I was hungry at that time, a tense atmosphere also that might make me faint but I'm not sure because... my mother's gaze when she asked made me very frightened. In the morning I woke up either because I fainted or because I was asleep until morning, where did I fall asleep? I was in my room at the time, maybe my mom was holding me. Eeh no. It is not possible, but of course the mother who carried me. Who else was in that big house besides me and my mom back then.

Still in my school uniform I fell asleep, my stomach was rumbling because I didn't eat all day yesterday. Moving from my room to the kitchen but there was nothing there, of course, because no one was working in the kitchen at that time. I walked back to my room and unpacked my piggy bank, hoping I would have breakfast at school like never before. Everything changed that day, I prepared my own school clothes, set out on my own, and prepared my own meals. Mammy? I never saw her, but occasionally I heard her crying from inside my mom and dad's room.

Eight months I had never seen my mother in the house and only locked herself in the room but occasionally went out to see my father, I also began to get used to doing everything myself to take care of myself and clean the house to keep it looking still maintained. But for the house.I'm sorry, I'm just a twelve-year-old boy and cleaning the house and yard that is almost an acre wide is not an easy matter. The garden of many fathers died, the beautiful garden became an unkempt garden with weeds that blocked the fountain which was also full of moss, father's car was dusty, and the father's car was dusty, glass - the glass of the house is also full of dust.

Ooh yes. about the mother who visited my father in the hospital, I never met my father for eight months. Wh why? not that I don't want to but mom never took me, I also did not dare to approach my mother at that time and just stared at her from a distance when I saw her walking towards the garage of the house to go see my father in the hospital. I miss you so much, but, I'm sure you'll be very angry with me and maybe that's the reason you didn't ask me to meet you. So I take the initiative if you go home, you will be proud of me because I am able to take care of this house alone.... home alone.... but I'm trying my best.

Eight months have passed, my savings money is getting thin and maybe I will not survive anymore. But when I was venturing to see my mother, I saw her hurrying away. That's how I looked at a sight I hadn't seen before, a sight that shook my heart. A smile, yes, when I saw my mother smiling and running towards the garage. "Dad will go home." I muttered as I ran to follow my mother to the garage, but again mother left me. But what do I care? dad's going home, right? so I got ready, I swept and mopped the house so that dad would love to see a clean house.

Not long after I swept away some workers who were foreign to me came to the house, deftly they immediately cleaned the house and my work was taken over just like that. All worked well until - until I had no more assignments, so I took the initiative to make a chocolate cheese toast to my father's antics. Can't be too burnt and the edges of the bread should be thrown away.I'm very familiar with father's will, I deftly make the bread for father in the kitchen.

Maybe I was too excited to make it and too fast until the bread became dry and cold but father had not come yet, But in the end I heard the roar of the car engine stopped right in front of the house. With my spirit I stood up and was about to run but suddenly I remembered that father was like that because of me, how could father forgive me, and I was a bad boy... you must hate me, of course.....

I walked and hid on a pole to look at my father from a distance, where I saw him sitting in a wheelchair and his mother pushing him. Mom and Dad were seen talking to each other but I didn't hear what they were talking about, I left them and headed back to the kitchen. The place you never set foot in, I hid in that place. Hiding from my father, no, I hid from my father and mother's anger as a result of my own mischief. Until suddenly mom came into the kitchen and looked for me, my hands immediately shook when she looked at the mother who was looking at me.

"Dad is looking for you, he's in his room right now" said my mother in silence, I stood up from my seat and was about to walk into the room but she pulled my arm. "Please promise not to argue anymore" she said with an angry look at me, a frightened me could only nod my head in response to her words. Not long after she let go of her hand and then looked at the toast I made for dad, she walked up to the table and took the toast and gave it to me. "You made it, right? is this for dad?" at that time mom while giving the plate in my hand, I just nodded in response to mother's question. "Run to my father and give him this toast" that sentence moved my leg to run immediately to my mother and father's room.

Arriving at the door of the closed room my heart was beating fast, my fear took control of my brain to make me tremble violently, and my hands seemed to refuse the order to open the room. But in the end I kept opening the door of the room, inside I saw my father sitting in his wheelchair while staring at the bed in the room. Father who realized my presence immediately turned his chair to face me directly and then my tears arrived - suddenly broke "Sorry...." my first sentence after eight months I didn't meet him because of me.

"I'm sorry. forgive me.." I kept petrifying in front of the door while looking into my father's eyes looking at me, my father gestured for me to approach him. Slowly I walked up to him and when I got very close to him my tears were getting louder and my mouth was no longer able to move to say the word "sorry", he hugged me tightly and said, "Thank God, thank God you're okay..." dad's hoarse voice from crying that day added to my guilt to my dad.