Fear of Marriage

Become lover

“Where are you going to take me again?” William looked at her. Ever since he got into the car he could see Karenina beside him this was unlike the usual Karenina. It wasn't Karenina that was annoying or sweet but Karenina that got colder.

As usual, William did not answer. He just kept driving his car.

“We are late, we should be able to see the sunset last”, William took him to the rostoran they had visited, a restaurant that was on a dock on the beach. The scenery is still the same, decorative lights decorate the iron barrier on the edge of the dock. But the moon that existed at that time was different from the one that now adorns the night sky, tonight the moon is perfectly round, there is a pink light that surrounds it making it look very beautiful.

William pulled a chair for her no matter what the flat face of Karenina was that was disturbing her eyesight.

“I think you like it here, so I brought you here again”, he said as he stared fixedly at Karenina.

“Will” William raised next to his eyebrows, he never turned his eyes on the woman in front of him. A simple woman who has already shifted her world.

“You want to know the real reason I left my hometown?” William placed his chin on the fingers holding each other resting on his elbows on the table.

“My aunt wants to marry me to someone I hate so much, not hate either but I really don't like her. She was actually my boyfriend and I liked her at first. In the early days of our relationship he treated me quite well” William heard him tell stories, stories he had never told anyone before .

“But over time his attitude changed, he began to organize my life and interfere in all my affairs no matter whether I like it or not, I want to or not. The more I feared him, the more possessive he was that I should not do this and that and forbid me from being friends with any other man besides the one he already knew. I'm sick of him but can't get away from him. And the peak was when he proposed to me to Om and Tanteku.

I was scared to death especially when my Tantu easily accepted his proposal without asking if I wanted to or not, I was ready or not. I'm getting scared imagining living with someone like that all my life”.

Karenina pauses the story when the waiter comes to serve their food, after all the dishes are neatly arranged on the table, the waiter leaves them and Karenina continues her story without William cutting in the least.

“Until I finally decided to leave the city, of course after I got all my graduation certificates. Omku gave me permission to leave, he also gave me a little money as my stock before getting a job.

Even after my departure Om and Tanteku had a big fight because my Tantu had received a lot of things from the man and Omku instead let me go”.

Karenina sighed, this time her gaze was already not as cold as it was. William sees she's back like the Karenina he knew.

“You know why I told you? I want to tell you that I don't want to feel that way again in my life, I want to live my life as I want without anyone bothering me without anyone setting me”.

William frowned “Do I scare you?”, Karenina nodded quickly.

“You also disturbed the peace of my life”, he said instantly without further ado.

“Where am I interrupting your life?”

“You are still asking which part, do I need to explain one by one what you have done. Do I need to count how many times you've taken me by force”.

“I don't think I ever did all that” William sipped the wine that the waiter had poured.

“I'm just trying to catch up with you, like people often do when they chase women in their tribe. I'm sincere to you Karenina and I won't hurt you”. Karenina is at a loss for words, she has told her story why she is afraid of being in a relationship with others but William seems to care nothing at all.

But wait, sincere. William is annoying, likes to be alone but he never shows anger at him again. A few minutes ago he could have been angry at someone else but in the next minute he had forgotten his anger when it was with him. 

Karenina recalled all the things she had gone through with the man, the more days William was showing his human nature. Other than always at will, William never did things that hurt his heart. Except for the motor at the time.

“If I were your lover, would you care for me?” Karenina started to open her mind. Perhaps letting William into his life wasn't too bad either, William might just be curious about him and if he got bored he would leave him. After all, he also had no feelings for William other than admiring his good looks so if William left him he would not be hurt.

“I'll take good care of you” William said sincerely. Karenina nodded “Alright, let's try” she said confidently.

“But I have one condition?” William's forehead wrinkled. “I don't want to sleep with you” he continued.

“Your terms are too heavy”, just let William want only his body.

“I mean, I want to go to bed once in a while hugging you instead of fucking you. I promise I'll just hug you, I won't do it if you don't want” Karenina breathes a sigh of relief, she thought William really just wanted his body.

“Nina..”

Deg, Karenina's heart is racing fast. Hearing William call out to her like that still made her body freeze.

“Karenina”

“Hemm”

“you heard what I said”

“You said what” William squinted his eyes “What do you think” Karenina shook her head quickly “No”, she replied. William turned his eyes to the food in front of him.

“The food is cold, I'll reorder”

“Why? It's still new also”

“I don't like to eat food that has dinging”, Karenina gawk ‘Basic rich’

“So this one wants in apakan”

“As soon as they” the restaurant waiter takes care of eating on that table that is not touched at all. Karenina looked at the food.

“Don't like wasting food Will, you don't know out there a lot of people are starving because there's nothing to eat”

“I didn't throw it away, I gave it to them. It was not a leftover food as everything was still intact, not touched at all”. William said, Karenina just sneered.

“Nina”

“Will, don't call me that”

“Why”, again look wrinkles on the forehead William “I heard everyone call you like that, why I as your lover should not”, he said protested.

“Aneh”

“You mean?”

“As far as you're concerned”, whether or not William makes an obnoxious woman like Karenina his lover, he wants to give it a try. He was also just trying to convince his heart, was it true that he had fallen in love with the woman or was he just curious because he had not been able to conquer the woman.

Although they are officially lovers but William knows that Karenina does not have any feelings for him and it makes her more challenged to enter further into the woman's life.

The night was getting late, the restaurant was getting crowded by visitors who were mostly in pairs. William invites Karenina to leave the place, they walk hand in hand.

“Death to me”, Karenina looks at her phone, there are many missed calls from Merry. He forgot to make an appointment with Merry tonight.

“Merry will definitely kill me”, he said again with a concerned face.

“Why?” ask William who is still focused on driving.

“This is all because of you, I promised to see Merry tonight but you pulled me here”. William snatched his phone and dialed Merry's number.

“Kareninaaa, you're dead huh. Why don't you come, I waited for you for hours” the sound of Merry shouting on the other end of the phone made William keep the phone away from his ear.

“Who did you call” Karenina wanted to pick up her phone but William has brought the phone back to her ear and talked to Merry.

“Sorry, I brought Karenina somewhere earlier” no sound from there, up to a few seconds. “Halo” said with his typical flat voice of William Anggoro.

“Who is this?, where's Karenina?” just heard another voice in the room.

“He's with me, don't be mad at him. I'm in charge”. William turned off the phone and gave the phone back to Karenina.

Karenina opened her mouth wide, how could she be like that to her friend.