Fear of Marriage

bagaian 19 (departure of Bram)

A while after the meal was over, it was time for us to go to deliver Bram mas, Maya and I sat in the back, while Bram and Papa Tyo sat in front.

In the middle of my mother-in-law's journey I asked what I would do for the next two months.

"Sha, you start work again when dear?"

"Tomorrow shanum has begun to work ma"

"Say Bram you want to stay in your house?"

"Yes ma, as long as Bram is not there I live in my house first"

"Why not in our house aja darling, will mama so there is a chat with me if malem"

"Shanum will have to bring Shanum's stuff later ma, sometime if I'm off work I'll definitely go to mama's house anyway"

"Judah if it wants you, but promise you have to play to Mama's house"

"Yes ma"

"Duh who has a new daughter-in-law very attention is Bram" said papa

"Ah this papa mama already sengep Shanum kayak mama's own son"

"Alhamdulillah if so ma, Bram seneng dengernya"

And somehow, it feels like now I'm a bit heavy to be left behind in Bram for the next two months, not that I should be happy because I have a lot of time to myself, so have plenty of time to digest what has happened lately.

After about an hour and a half of driving, we finally arrived, it seemed that many families of Bram's mas friends were also taking the departure of their family members who were going to work.

Actually, this is also not foreign to me, but I still wonder why there must be a heavy taste for the departure of this Bram mas, is it possible that I have started to feel?

"Ah no, why does it feel so complicated, what the hell is love?" I shook my head because it was with my words in my heart.

"Why sha?" Mama asked

"No, no papa"

"Ah you are there-there is aja sha"

Mas Bram said goodbye to all of us, first to my father Tyo, my mother Maya, my mother and my papa and now he is right in front of me, and unfortunately I feel stubborn, And it looks like a confused person.

"Shaa"

"I, ii, yes Mas"

"I'm leaving, take care of myself"

"Ka, you too"

And damn why I'm so nervous too.

"Always tell me, wait for me ya sha"

"Yes"

Mas Bram immediately hugged me in front of our parents tightly, and the feeling of Maluku became more so, I raised my hand somewhat hesitantly, and embraced Mas Bram's back.

"I love you sha"

He whispered those words beside my left ear

"Udah mas shy diiatin many people" I said slowly

He also let go of his embrace, and smiled at me, his smile seemed very sincere, I who saw his smile was just dumb looking at his handsome face.

"Totally Shanum, just one Sunday has been left behind" said my mother-in-law

"It's just the moon, you can hold sha nahan kangen for two months?" I, who was ashamed, grew ashamed again because of the words of my father

"Ah papa what the hell" I said as I bowed and cheeks began to heat up

"Jaudah take good care of yourself, Bram, we all go home first" said papa Tyo

"Yes pa, you all are too"

We all waved to Mas Bram, I went straight up to papa's car, because the plan was to go straight home. On the way, my mother began the conversation.

"Diem aja sha? The new time is gone"

"Apaansi mama, yes sasa want to diem aja"

"Yes, yes, pah?" Mama mopped

"Don't bother your son" while laughing

"Mama so inget, once papa you have a duty kayak gini you also often join nganter same mama, you used to almost never cry if papa stay, papa stay, but every day you must have come home papa has not been"

"This shanum has hidden his feelings from little ma"

"Emang is really morning"

"Shanum's a prestige, is it Ma?"

"Papa Mama says people, the people are behind"

They both laughed.

"Like to Ma"

"Yaudah semog you will be at home there, take care of the house that is really also sha"

"Yes" I started to answer

"Don't forget to go to your mom's house often"

"Yes"

"Ah you are yes, yes from before"

"Yes" I'm busy organizing my schedule back, because tomorrow it's work.

"Udah Ma should not be disturbed by his son" Papa said

"Based on this one Papa's son"

Didn't feel we were home, I hurried in and went up to the room and laid down my body, Because all day it felt so tiring, so hard, it turned out that cooking with mama-in-law was fun but a bit tense as well.

I opened the phone screen, but there wasn't a single message from Bram.

*Have I started to go crazy?

He just left

What am I thinking right now*?

I kept thinking about my situation while lying down.

could it be that I was overreacting in response to this relationship?

other people, my friends they look ordinary when with men, ah base Lo emang tacky sha.

I continued to speak inwardly while patting my eel a little hard.

ah if I knew I would be stiff like this guy, and if I hadn't married now, I would have changed Gonta's girlfriend like Nisa, I wouldn't have been so cute with a guy, anyway, maybe I have some experience when I get married.

aware of my words, I was immediately shocked and woke up.

jeez since when did my mind start like this?

I do occasionally read romantic novels, about complicated romance stories, which at first hate being in love, but in real life, it is actually more of a complicated heart situation.

my mind began to think about why I did not dare to open my heart to men, why I did not give Arga the opportunity.

uh but not a sassy guy like he thought I was, too.

I shook my head and stood up.

I'm really going crazy

I went straight to the bathroom, filled the bathtub with warm water and lit a candle, I soaked in the bathtub and my mind felt more peaceful even I fell asleep.

I suddenly woke up when I heard my phone ringing, apparently the one who called me was my cousin Riri.

"hello Ri what's wrong?"

"is she back home now?"

"yes, why Ri?"

"gue wants to ask memenin Lo to go to the mall sha, I again want to buy clothes equally want to eat a lot"

"wih much money Lo, tlaktir cave right?" speaking in a soft tone

"yes, I ate it but"

"okay deh, uh what's wrong Lo want to spend money like gini"

"i'm now all smirking and I want sha"

"it's up to you, Guamah follow me"

"actually if you can be honest if you're already married is not exciting to know, then we can go when we want"

"have already gone"

"eh sha, I don't mean pumping Lo yes, I also understand the position of people who have been married like how"

"yes you have to understand, you will also marry Ri"

"but don't be fooled like eloquently either" chuckled

"ah elo ngeledek aja"

"eh no papa deh origin prospective husband handsome kayak mas Bram"

"Ri, my voice is a little hardened

"already ah Ri, will be hunted again, I snapped again is ready, cepetan Lo pick me up I also laper hehehe"

"well, I'd like to get ready, bye too"

"okay, bye"