Don't Want to Split

Chapter 32 - The Dilemma

"Wow! You guys are so absorbed. Why don't you invite Papa to join you?" greet Ezra in a happy voice from the doorway.

Zephaniah had not yet responded, and suddenly Ezra was lying next to him. There is hardly any distance between them . Their positions lined up in order Ezra, Zefanya and their two babies.

Louisa who looked very sticky with her Papa immediately reached out and rambled, like she was calling out to Ezra. Zefanya uses the opportunity to shift, approaching Louisa to comfort her. He rubbed Louisa's fat fingers and persuaded Louisa until her daughter gradually calmed down.

Lying close to the twins, Louis shuffled and pulled up - a long tug of Zefanya's hair. Louisa did not want to lose, she also grabbed her mother's hair and held it tightly. They chattered to each other, occasionally the sound of baby laughter alternated. The twins are talking to each other. Actually Zephaniah was really happy to be between the two of them, but the presence of Ezra really tormented his mind. The distance is too close, the warmth that emanates from the look of his eyes, then the body aroma is very familiar that makes his longing feeling more overflowing.

His mind is really fighting a great battle, in order to refrain from responding to anything to the figure who is next to him. In order to cover up the feeling that was burning in the chest, Zefanya turned her attention to Louis by inviting him to play. He lifted the baby into the air and kissed her stomach with anxiety. The baby boy giggled amusedly and continued to babble gleefully. Louisa was still engrossed on her stomach while pulling Zefanya's hair pull until the strands were wrapped around her fingers. Looks like Louisa doesn't care much when Zefanya's attention is more on her twin. His Zefanya black hair was more attractive to him.

Ezra who was next to him looked at his little family with a sad look. Feelings feel mixed. The sight of the mother and the twins made him bahabia, there is great hope in his heart, hopefully they will not separate again until death separates. But it cannot be denied, there is a sense of pain that infiltrated when he saw Zefanya so heart-hearted to him. Always seem to keep your distance. She misses her aggressive Zefanya, her cheerful little girl who always welcomes her with hugs, then her Zefanya kisses every time she persuades her when she wants something. If only he could, Ezra would even be willing to pay anything as long as his Zefanya back to the way it was.

Ezra's fixed gaze made Zefanya's body stiffen, as if - something will be wrapped around her body. Shakily, Zefanya bound Louis with her body, making her son a barrier between Ezra and himself.

Feeling comfortable in his mother's arms, Louis was even more sleepy. Zefanya's maternal soul just popped up, spontaneously singing a lullaby to Louis while rubbing his back. The song and the tender embrace of a mother lulled Louis to sleep. His son did not resist as Zefanya lavished him with love and kissed him endlessly.

Unable to resist, Zefanya's tears spilled. His heart was filled with two kinds of conflicting feelings. Happy and sad at the same time. Happy to still be able to enjoy the sweet moment with his children, but also sad because the price to be paid for all this is a farewell.

On his side, there was Ezra Halley. The man she loved more than herself. The man who should be from the beginning should not be his partner. If only he had known earlier, it would not have been this painful. How will he explain all this to Louis and Louisa? Mr. Benjamin really gave him an unpleasant position.

Or if Zefanya could choose, she better not know at all. If he didn't know, he wouldn't feel guilty. What made her feelings worse was that her little heart wanted to rebel against this horrible reality. There is a part of him to turn a deaf ear to Mr. Benjamin's confession, forget about it and then live a normal life just like he did when he didn't know anything.

Unfortunately, God knows. The Zephaniah could hide this from anyone in the world, but there was a God watching him from above. There was no place for Zephaniah to hide from Him. Zefanya and Ezra will not be happy.

With a bitter feeling, Zefanya pressed her cheek against Louis' fragrant nape. Hiding his tears from Ezra. From this moment on, he had to change his mindset. His children will be number one, his happiness and the center of his life.

"Ma moitie?" Lirih Ezra's.

Zefanya closed her eyes, hoping that Ezra would not say a word. She didn't want to hear anything from her husband.

"Your departure is like hell to me. Every night I have trouble sleeping thinking of you leaving with nothing. I'm worried, are you in a safe place? Is it enough to eat? Healthy or sick?"

Zefanya opened her eyes. From the corner of his eye, he could see the man lying next to him being fragile. Her eyes opened wide staring at the sky, with Louisa asleep on top of her arms. Quiet - silent Zefanya exhaled to lighten the burden that squeezed his chest.

Ezra. "Every morning, I wish you were home. Calling my name, swaying spoiled in my arms. But no, for days you don't show up. Weeks change months, you don't go home either."

Zefanya stuck her wet back cheek in Louis's sweet-smelling hair.

"And after all the terrible events that almost took your life, isn't it natural that I miss you?"

Ezra squinted his eyes, as if feeling pain in his body. "Then this opportunity came. The thing I want most beyond anything. We can regroup, not just two but four. Together - just like this, how do you feel?"

Zefanya gulped, tasted bitter and sick.

"Don't this togetherness feel good, Zie? I don't want this to end."

Zefanya closed her eyes again, not daring to face reality and also Ezra.

"Dear, tell me. Are you sure you really don't want to hug me? Don't you miss the times I spoiled you? Zefanya Halley, I love you. Long ago, now and until I close my eyes."

Word by word was spoken with great feeling by Ezra, a remark that Zephaniah was very unwilling to hear. Reveal Ezra's heart stirred - stir Zefanya's feelings, making her heart ravaged.

Not knowing how to respond, Zefanya chose to run away. He kept his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. A good reason for Ezra not to bother him anymore.

'Oh, I'm this imitator.' Zefanya lamented inwardly.