A Man's Self-Esteem Is Working

Mentioning Mother

Now Husein and I live in the house that you bought, even though there was a lot of drama that accompanied our previous move.

Husein wants us to occupy the house he has in the peak area close to his company, while I want to stay here to manage the salon and accompany the children, especially Adam who is still in elementary school.

Seeing our relationship that has not gone as smoothly as a couple, small fights often occur.

Husein who always sought my attention, and the children especially Rashid who was a child always seized my attention made me a little bit embarrassed when one or even both sulked.

As of now, Rashid wants to sleep with me while Husein wants to sleep with my arms around me, we have not done husband and wife relations as we should, Husein was patient enough not to insist on asking me for his right, he was happy enough when I did not talk about the talaq I wanted, he said, but instead Husein still wanted to sleep together by continuing to hug me all night.

I know enough myself not to discuss about talak, after the incident at the hotel Husein experienced trauma back anxiety and excessive disappointment made him have to re-consume sedative drugs.

Given the incident I felt outrageous and tried to accept this marriage but I was not ready to have sex, I was afraid that if I got pregnant with Hussein's child, it would tie her too tightly to me, I was afraid that when it happened I would be greedy for wanting it on the grounds of the child tying us both up, I still thought he deserved a better woman than me.

Seeing the quarrel of the two men on the bed who are now fighting over me sometimes makes me laugh with anxiety myself.

"Rashid sleeps with Mas Adam alone" Husein orders Rashid who sits on my lap and hugs me tightly.

"Rashid wants to sleep with Mom, Abi only sleeps with Mas Adam" said Rashid staring at Abinya sharply.

"It's Mom and Abi's bed, Rashid can't sleep together here" replied Husein hugging me showing his ownership.

"Yes, I've been sleeping in Rashid's room" Rashid said, looking up at my face.

"Mom should sleep with Abi" replied Husein firmly.

"Abi the little boy should sleep with him?" Hearing Rashid's babble I almost laughed if I didn't get Husein's glare.

"Rasyid himself has grown up with Mom?" Hussein does not want to lose to children.

"Rasyid and Abi are still small Rashid so Rashid can still sleep with Mom" replied Rashid made Husein defeated terribly.

"Abi, Rashid is sleeping at night, if you are still noisy, let Mother sleep with Mas Adam" I threatened the two who argue never ending.

"Don't" he answered almost simultaneously.

The door of the room opened, Adam entered with a sad face his eyes glazed with a reddened nose.

"Mother." she said slowly.

"Why is Adam?" I tried to get to Adam who was standing behind the door

"Mas dizzy" he answered holding his head, I put my palm on his forehead.

"God has a fever, do you want me to take it to the Doctor?" ask me to worry about seeing Adam.

Although I already knew Adam was afraid of the Doctor, what other hospital syringes but seeing a fever high enough this I offered maybe Adam would.

"Wouldn't" replied Adam he almost cried.

"Temenin Mas slept" he said, hugging me.

I saw the look on Husein and Rashid's faces they looked disappointed that Adam asked for the same thing, Adam was more mature when compared to Hussein in asking for his mother's attention, he would only whine at times like this.

"Well let's go back to Mas's room so that I can sleep" I embrace Adam who is now almost parallel to my chest.

"Mother" Call Rashid slowly to come over and hug my feet.

"Rasyid slept with Abi first yes, Masnya was sick. Rashid is dear to Mas Adam" I crouched down and stroked his hair.

"Yes" replied Rashid, thank goodness there is no more drama.

"Good boy" I kissed my youngest.

Husein tapped - tapping his index finger affixed, he was always jealous.

I went up to him and kissed him on the forehead.

"Have you?" I looked at Husein

"Not yet" said Husein pursed his lips

"What else?!" Just pissed.

"All right" He looked down lethargic, I kissed his cheeks until the smile was there.

I left Husein with Rashid who seemed to get along when I left.

"Please first, let me take the medicine and the compress for Mas" I left Adam to go to the kitchen to prepare the compresses and drugs that he could consume.

Since I have children, I always provide drugs to keep - keep if times like this I experience at night.

I went back to Adam's room, prepared the medicine he was going to drink and gave it.

"Since when did Mas dizzy" asked me on the sidelines of preparing the medicine.

"Go back to teach Ma'am" Adam answered, his voice was hoarse.

"Now what's sick?" Ask me to see what medicine I can give you.

"Mas throat hurts" he answered holding his throat.

"This is taken first the medicine yes, if until tomorrow it has not healed also Mas must want to follow Mother Abi to the Doctor yes" said I hope Adam would cooperate for his health.

"Alright" replied Adam complaining, he then took the medicine that I had provided.

Adam began to fall asleep, sometimes I change the compresses I wear, because of fatigue I finally slept in Adam's room in a position sitting on the floor with my hands.