A Man's Self-Esteem Is Working

Is it all my fault?

INDRI POV

Today as usual I'm going to the salon to help Dance and the others, when no one uses my services as a bridal makeup artist I always busy myself in the candidate even though they can without my presence.

The distance between the house and the salon was not so far away, until I decided to walk, the house we used to rent was finally bought by Father and Mother.

Initially they wanted to renovate my old house, because the old house was built into a salon and financed Husein then Mother and Father decided to buy a house that we had rented.

The renovation costs that I promised I would return to Husein in fact I have not been able to return, a month too soon, he said, and the money is too big to be the reason why until now I have not been able to return the money that I consider the loan.

Along the way people who had looked down on my life before, now they started to get closer and started greeting when we passed by.

Now people already think I exist, that I can be sure with the listing I in the group chat environment of the neighborhood, group of mothers - mothers of studies, and mothers - mothers of arisan.

In the past when I had no income let alone enter the group was considered real no, grateful I was not a vindictive human so I consider their usual attitude like that.

"For Madam Indri" said dance on the front page of the salon when I saw me visiting.

"Asalamualaikum Tari" I reprimanded in a joking tone.

"Eh, wa'alaikum salam Mbak Indri" replied Tari shyly.

"The others have all come?" I looked at the salon from outside.

"Already Ma'am, again prepare inside" replied Tari

"Stok is still safe?" Ask me to make sure everything's under control.

"Masker fruit variants - just a little more Ma'am, the children of the final high school students - late this many who like the masceran every weekend" explained Tari tapping - knitting her forehead with her index finger, remember what he wants to report.

"Later please check again yes, write everything in the stock book so that you can know what items have begun to run out" I ask that when shopping no items are missed.

"Well Ma'am" replied Tari nodding her head a few times.

"Bak entered the room first yes" I said ending our conversation.

"Yes" replied Tari continued his activities back to clean the front page of the salon.

When entering the salon one by one employees say hello, I have 4 employees in addition to Dance, 2 girls 1 single and 1 more I have to say what, what, the name on his ID card is Firman but sometimes he transformed into Fitri.

We have never discriminated against anyone who cooperates in this service field, it is not a taboo that the figure of the Word exists and works in the field that we live.

As long as they work properly it is enough for me, his carefree figure is also talkative sometimes becomes the excitement and pleasure of other employees.

Some files piled up on the desk, reports of goods coming from suppliers and receipts from our salon, etc, there are also some new products such as hair dyes and hair masks that suppliers offer to add to their marketability, I spent hours checking all the files that were a few days untouched, having finished with the empty job I felt.

This quiet room alone made me remember how my last meeting with Husein, since then I never got word again.

Maybe he was okay after the disappointment he knew, all this time I thought I was the only one who was hurt even though all for wanting me, I decided all that.

Guilt rippled in my heart until I felt tight, I wanted to meet him even though I only knew how he was doing.

I used to just think that let me go, let only me feel the pain even though the matchmaking at that time I could refuse, I thought marrying him would make all this trouble work out and you found a woman who deserves to be your life partner.

It turns out that the love and disappointment so great and together that you feel makes you feel pain beyond what I've felt so far, even I foolishly think the love you've been giving is just teenage love that will disappear and change when you find a better woman and your family's dream.

"Husein is so much your love for me?" I murmured slowly, not feeling a clear circle slide just wet as long as the cheeks.

Guilt spread throughout my body until I finally sobbed bitterly, vibrating all over the body holding this tangin so as not to break and make people - fry under worry.

I can't continue like this I have to see Husein, at least I have to know his condition, I better contact Ummi before coming to him directly.

I tried to contact Ummi by phone call in hand, the phone was connected but somehow Ummi did not receive a call from me.

I tried to keep contacting him a few times, but the results were the same, until finally I decided to meet Ummi at the Foundation because usually at hours like this Ummi will be preoccupied with taking care of the children of the orphan foundation that he was processing.

When I came out of the room I passed by Tari who was chatting with a custamer.

"Tari, Mbak out first for a while yes, there's something you have to take care of" I said slowly so as not to interfere with his activities with custamer.

"Make it okay?" tanya Dari held me back by grasping my wrist.

"Yes" I replied with a sweet smile to reassure her.

But when I opened the door of the salon the figure of the middle-aged woman I wanted to meet was standing right behind the door I was opening.

"Um-mi" I said stammered

"Can we talk for a second?" Her question was flatly firm.

There was a sense of anger on Ummi's face I could see, that always warm and polite figure would usually call me my name gently.

"Ah yes, can Ummi" I replied.