A Man's Self-Esteem Is Working

Adolescence

"It's better that we just go home, it's not good to fight in public"

I pulled Mas Ardi's wrist and took him away with my disappointed and sad heart, brought Mas Ardi home, I called Adam to end his spying and follow us home.

Tonight after the children fell asleep, I searched the house looking for the whereabouts of Mas Ardi wanted to try to explain the matter of the case for his persistent accusations of calling me an affair with a foreign man.

But why don't I feel angry? Maybe because I did not cheat like what Mas Ardi said.

Seen from inside I saw Mas Ardi sitting on the front porch, I approached and sat beside him.

Wanting to start a conversation but I hesitated, I ended up just quietly waiting for the interrogation session to start.

"Who is he?" Mas Ardi asked with a flat face without expression and without looking at me.

"Ustad taught Adam in Mushola" I replied

"What are you talking to him about?!" Gnarled

"Nothing matters" I said flatly

"Do you intend to cheat? Is it because I'm poor and unemployed that you're taking me?" Tanya Mas Ardi started to get emotional

"Since the beginning of marriage I have never felt anything about you, even you forbid me to love you. I'm just trying to be sincere with this matchmaking we do each other's responsibilities and accept each other's rights from the beginning you forced this marriage to happen on the grounds of your parents' wishes and you will accept all the consequences, from the very beginning you already know that this relationship is only mutual symbiosis only, I can have an affair if you want it especially with your behavior that is not responsible for our fate!!" I said grumpily, free to speak softly, listen to a selfish person like him.

"Didn't there be any love in your heart for me?"

"I have been at ease for so long, until the seed of love was almost present, but with the events of these two years I felt unappreciated, unloved and even less fought for you easily abandoned us by saying no more work, not a good job I expected but a sense of responsibility for the family I wanted"

"I'm sorry deck" he said softly

"Yes from the beginning of this relationship has been wrong, on the grounds of debt of gratitude many hearts are hurt even though many people who think love will come because it is accustomed but in fact I feel only comfortable alone"

"Are you going to leave Mas deck??" Ask Mas Ardi in his concern

"I don't know, but your slap this afternoon broke our pre-wedding agreement"

I left the porch and went into the children's room to look at them without any intention of closing my eyes.

"Stay away from Husein for his own good"

The words kept ringing in my hearing. I want to go back to my teenage years, when I was in high school there, which I felt was just happy, unlike now living in a household because of the agreement and debt. Losing the love that I always hoped for, now all I could do was lament the fate of the crystal clear rounders one by one collapsing down the cheeks. O Allah why this ordeal is so tight to the chest. I left the nursery - maybe with two rakaat sunah prayers I can calm my heart a little.

I spread the prayer rug in my room and started praying. After I finished crying sobbing - sobs.

O Allah why does it still exist, I am a married woman of her legal sin if I still expect another man besides my husband, O Allah remove this feeling, even I cannot hate it in the least. Circumstances that set us apart and maybe this is how you stay away from what is not my soul mate.

O Allah, open your hearts to accept your destiny.

Flashbacks

A week later the farewell event will be held all the students who participated in the event were made busy but not with me Husein forbid me to appear on stage for fear of everyone seeing my beautiful face with dress up, really childish.

Husein and his bandmates were busy rehearsing the rehearsal. As usual, I waited from a distance without wanting to know what song he would perform.

Prom night day is coming.

All the participants who participated gathered in the school hall while me and the other students as spectators began to occupy neatly lined seats on the basketball court. I who went alone do not know how Husein looks tonight because he left from the afternoon to check the musical instruments they will wear.

The event began with the children of class X and XI began to display their talents, each of whom danced and sang.

Then the host called Husein and his band.

Husein and his bandmates took the stage. Instantly I was surprised to be amazed by the appearance of Husein on the white sneaker panngung dark blue jeans, white T-shirt and flannel shirt patterned black white ash box. She looks so simple but perfect in my eyes so sweet.

Husein waved his hand at me.

"Asalamualaikum everything we're here will bring you one song, this song is specifically dedicated to my woman"

Time first time

I see you present

Calm heart heard

A beautiful voice greeted the waves of this heart I did not expect

This feeling is unstoppable

This heart is always for you

Accept this song from ordinary people

But my love for you is amazing

I don't have flowers

I don't have any treasure

All I have is a sincerely loyal heart to you

Day changed

Now your love is present

Seeing you look at you like an angel

Tightly your eyes

Sweet smile your lips

Black long your hair is gracefully tied

This feeling is unstoppable

This heart is always for you

Accept this

From ordinary people

But my love for you is amazing

I don't have flowers

I don't have any treasure

All I have is a sincerely loyal heart to you.

Husein came down from the stage to come up to me and clasped my hand with one hand still holding the mic.

Accept this song

From ordinary people

Accept this song

From ordinary people

But my love for you is amazing.

I don't have flowers

I don't have any treasure

All I have is a sincerely loyal heart to you

It didn't feel like the clear grain was flowing in the corner of my eye. I was moved by what Husein was doing, seeing me cry Husein pulled my hand into his arms.

Cheers from other students and students spread my mind as soon as I let go of hugs hussein I lowered my head with a face reddened by being too embarrassed.