A Man's Self-Esteem Is Working

I'm Disappointed

The day after our divorce trial was held, the more uncomfortable I felt, not because I was afraid but more nervous.

We did not start with love, but the time of 9 years is not a short period of marriage, I can not deny I had fallen in love with him.

Although at the beginning he was an arrogant man who made many mistakes, but because my patience at that time made him melt and soften, until it came to the peak of my patience to disappear, when he was willing to give up his responsibilities.

Until that arrogant attitude came back and he transformed into a human I hated again.

This separation may be the best way, I complained not merely wanting worldly sufficiency, but a sense of protection and struggle.

Despite his shortcomings, if he was willing to fight and still find a way to support us, it would look more honorable in our eyes than to give up the responsibility he should bear.

It's not the nominal we debate but the responsibility we ask, it's not the self-esteem of a man is to work so how can we appreciate it if he does it all.

At the back of the house we were gathered staring at Rashid who was busy playing with Masnya Adam, now they already have their own desire toys, my hard work for several months has been fruitful, I have been able to meet the needs of the two heroes that I love.

"Indri how the day after tomorrow, are you ready?" ask me, you look at me.

We sat side by side in a wooden bale.

"Insyallah sir, continue to pray for Indri" said I smiled warmly looking at the two children I fought for so far.

"Our prayers are with you, son" answered Mother with a tray of cold drinks and cookies, Mother kept the tray in the middle of us.

"Thank you ma'am, sir" I said gratefully with a family like theirs.

"Trial later you can take care of the children? because Father and Brother Evan became witnesses to my trial later" I said to Mother explained.

" Of course, I'll come with the kids after the trial is over" replied Mother stroking next to my shoulder.

"Thank you Mom" I replied.

"How are you doing here?" ask Dad

"Thanks to the full help and encouragement from Mbak Yeni, now Indri already has a name in our village and neighboring villages" I replied with gratitude for the ease I have obtained.

"Thank God, if so" said the father nodded his head slowly several times.

That day came now that Mas Ardi and I were found sitting next to each other in front of the judge.

I glance at the person sitting next to me, he looks unkempt with clear eye bags, worry had haunted me no matter how the war we had a roof together.

The prosecutor said the mistakes that Mas Ardi had made during these 2 years and the incidence of domestic violence that I received 2 times.

Mas Ardi asserted everything, without dodging all the statements of the Prosecutor.

Finally we divorced Talak 2 came out, Mas Ardi was obliged to give me a living during idah and remained obliged to provide for and educate our two children.

The trial went faster than I had imagined, now I have a widow with two children, one by one from us and the court left the court room, on the court I looked at Mas Ardi.

I took off the 2 gram gold ring that was curled in my sweet finger, I handed it over and placed it in the palm of Mas Ardi's hand, we shook hands as a sign of farewell I looked into his eyes and our eyes met.

Those two eyes of mine condensed there was a puddle of tears ready to make a river, what is this? why do I feel guilty? why is she such a fragile person that I would leave behind?

"Mas.." I said softly, I have strengthened my heart not to grieve on this farewell day.

"I'm sorry." answered the tears that had been stirring at last, and only this time I saw her crying even when I gave birth she laughed happily without tears.

"I'm sorry, you're still the father of our children, keep them educated I won't forbid Mas to visit and play with them" my words gave him the freedom to meet kangen with his children.

"Thank you" she answered, a faint smile she gave a glance.

"Yes the same - keep living happily - children will worry if something bad happens with his father" I said encouraging him who was like desperate after our trial.

"I'll try" he replied, Mas Ardi looked at me a long time quickly he pulled my hand until I fell in his arms, he hugged me tightly so I could feel the tightness of my chest.

Someone from behind me pushed Mas Ardi's shoulder hard until our embrace was released and I pulled him behind the person's body.

"Are you okay" the man looked at me worriedly

"Husein" I muttered

"He?!" snapped Mas Ardi as he looked at Husein who was in front of me.

"He was Ust who taught Adam at Mushola Mas" I explained, honestly, I was so afraid that the two of them had a fight, even fighting Husein's jealous nature and Mas Ardi's arrogant nature made it easier for them to make a scene anywhere.

"Oh" he answered flatly.

Thank goodness he believed my explanation

"I'll also be the father of your children" Husein said with a grin framing on his handsome face.

"It turns out so, you quickly get my replacement apparently" said Mas Ardi chuckled softly

"I am not your substitute, I am the main character as Indri's companion" replied Husein with a flat face raised a sharp gaze

"Hussein is enough!" I was angry with their discussion

"Our mother said to go home first" I looked at Mas Ardi.

I pulled Husein's wrists out of the corridor into the front yard garden, I threw out my hand to stare at Husein furiously

"Husein why do you always piss me off? this court is not a playground" I said grumpily with a childish attitude.

"She has upset me 2 times, if only I did not appreciate you I had laid a raw bogem on her face" Husein said emotionally

"2 times?" ask me confused.

"Yes 2 times, first when he slapped you in the handsome one day and now when you're officially separated he's still looking for a chance to hug you" Husein explained.

"So when I got slapped you were pissed at him?" ask me curiously to convince you of what Husein just said.

"of course! You think I'd be willing for the woman I've been protecting all this time to be slapped in front of my own face" he half-screamed.

"Why don't you take his hand when he slaps me" I asked softly, I was very disappointed

"I need a reason so you can leave him" he said humbly, when he saw the look on my face was sad.

"Y!! You!!" I let out a sharp look as both of our eyes flashed

"Sorry Humairah if I'm selfish, I see you unhappy and tormented by your marriage, whereas you can't file for divorce as long as she doesn't commit domestic violence because of the pre-marital agreement" Husein explained the misunderstanding and tried to grab both my hands.

"I didn't expect you to be that slick" I brushed off the touch of his hand, I was really disappointed.

"But isn't this what you're expecting, I'm just giving him a chance to make a mistake" he said, still trying to explain.

"But I was still disappointed that you didn't help me then! I even thought you hated me so much that you let me be hurt by someone else" I snapped for the first time.

"Humirah is not what I mean." he said lirih trying to take back my hands

"Husein leave me alone, don't ever see me again" you said, avoiding a few steps back from him.

"Humirah forgive me." said Husein stepped closer with a soft sigh

"Leave me alone or I'll get out of here" I said a little threateningly

"I beg you." he said, not giving up

"Go!" I close my face with both palms.