A Man's Self-Esteem Is Working
Goodbye to love
The day that Mas Ardi and I arrived, I wore a white kebaya with sequins and natural stone around the chest and wrists.
Just a week ago I received a school certificate, but now I have to be the wife of people even without love between the two.
O Allah make this chest open to accept all your destinies, teach your servant to be sincere if it must be like this that I live, keep guiding me in every path that I take, don't ever leave me because you're the only place I'm leaning.
Doubtful and doubtful as time came, I looked in the mirror before myself, a face that had been reviewed in such a way that it looked perfectly beautiful, if the one who made the sacred promise was the person I love maybe the current atmosphere will feel happy and blue.
"Are you ready, son?" He asked me to look at my face from the mirror
I just let out a subtle sigh, my eyes began to glaze - the glass holding the crystal circles sliding freely from both of my eyelids.
"Forgive us dear, we implicate you in our helplessness, can you sincerely accept it?" ask the Father again
I am indeed too close to the Father, even without talking you know that I already have a relationship with Husein, maybe at this time you also know that I am doing this by force.
"Indri will try it sir, pray Indri sir?" My pinta
"Always dear" replied the father clasping my shoulders hugging from behind.
Dad came out to be a marriage guardian for me, shortly afterwards there was a voice of cheering thanksgiving when all the witnesses said the word SAH.
My mother and my mother-in-law came in to pick me out, not feeling the crystal's feathers crumble down on my cheeks.
I was juxtaposed with the bridegroom - the man who was still facing the ruler and my Father.
I pinned the wedding ring on her sweet finger and I kissed the back of her arms in reverence, she did the same thing by pinning the ring on my ring finger and kissing the top of my head.
We were directed to sit on a mop, a smile full of falsehood clearly framed on his face, the eyes were like wanting to swallow me alive.
The day began in the afternoon I returned to the makeup room to change the evening dress, after finishing changing the dress I returned to the dress alone, without knowing where the bridegroom was, she said, this afternoon guests began to decline not as much during the day which was dominated by besan family and office friends Mas Ardi.
Sayup - I heard the MC's voice say something.
"Good afternoon by evening everyone here intends to perform a song to entertain all especially the two brides please sir?"
"Husein" replied the man in the hat next to him
Deg
Husein that's you.
Why did you come Husein is really difficult to go through especially with your presence.
"Alright please Mr. Husein" the MC also gave a mic to Husein
"Good night, may you all be entertained"
The clink of guitar string quotes sounds melodious but heartbreaking to me.
...We have promised...
...Not to hurt each other...
...It's hard for me to understand...
...So easily you deny...
...Saying wrong...
...Please explain it to me...
...Fill heart...
...Because I deserve to know...
...Was I that bad in your eyes...
...So that you don't want to get close to me anymore...
...Am I that bad in your life...
...We have promised...
...Not to hurt each other...
...I don't understand why you left...
...Was I that bad in your eyes...
...So that you don't want to get close to me anymore...
...Am I that bad in your life...
...It's my fault that you forgot all about us...
...Was I that bad in your eyes...
...So that you don't want to get close to me anymore...
...Am I that bad in your life...
...My fault is where but it's okay that I always pray you're happy....
The tears that I held all day I could not stand anymore, sobs became heartbreaking groans to the roar that heard it.
Husein go I can no longer.
As if to understand the contents of my heart Husein left the wedding after singing, it sounded not like a song but an expression of the contents of the heart disappointed because left.
Until the event was over I was not accompanied by Mas Ardi, until many guests who knew him were eager to see me alone there were also those who asked Mas Ardi's parents to ask about his existence.
I did not pay any heed to them at all because I was still in a deep sadness at the presence of Husein which made this wound even more so, I just wanted to try to be a candle to her relationship with Abi even though it had to be me who was hurt from burning my own selfishness.
The night was getting late I was still swept away in the wounds I made myself, sitting pensively in the wedding bed with flowers that had been prepared.
This morning I woke up alone still wearing a wedding dress and makeup that had faded from last night's crying, no matter where the Arogan man went.
I looked at the face in the reflection of the mirror, the eyes so swollen up to the thick pockets printed under my eyes, I just laughed with fate that played me until I fell into a bottomless abyss.
For five days I have not seen the whereabouts of Mas Ardi, I have become the wife of people without wanting to know where the whereabouts of her husband who disappeared since the wedding night. I was asked to stay with both parents Mas Ardi he was afraid that if I and Mas Ardi stayed just the two, Mas Ardi would be rude to me, both parents Mas Ardi always looked down every time they passed each other and looked at my face maybe they were embarrassed because of the mere child's temperament.
I enjoyed my quiet days without seeing the person at the center of the problem, all the free time I spent in the room reading and sleeping, and all the rest, My mother-in-law forbade me to help with all the housework and I had no intention of forcing any help.
In the middle of the night I heard a noise in the house, whether what happened I did not intend to eavesdrop or approach to just want to know, or not, I went back to sleep and heard the door shut quite loud.
It turns out he knows my way home
He took off all his clothes in front of my eyes, did he think there were no humans here. I was already his wife but didn't he have any shame?
"Why? don't tell me you want it?" His question of the smell of alcohol came out of his mouth
"What?!" I asked wonder I was still fixated on staring at the stocky body with a torn piece of bread in front of my eyes.
"Haha.. Well I'll give you what you want and never regret it because it won't get done so easily"
Mas Ardi pulled the thick blanket I was wearing and threw it into the corner of the room, I began to watch myself protect my precious parts with pillows and bolsters he showed a grin of a savage smile like a wolf ready to pounce on its prey.
He pulled the pillow and bolster that I made so the shield threw him away every now and then he brought his face closer to mine so that I could smell the very sharp smell of alcohol from his mouth.
"I'll make this relationship the longest torture under the guise of marriage" she laughed out loud
Oh, God protect me, this is very painful
