Trapped In Ambiguity

The Gentle Mother

I went home for a while to take a shower. My body odor has started to spread. Actually, I do not intend to go home, only later people will be disturbed because of my presence. After the shower, I got ready to go back to the hospital.

“What have you eaten?” I muttered as I watched the clock on the wall show at 7 p.m. It's usually dinner time for my little family. “Mothers definitely haven't eaten.” I then made a box of provisions for mother. Mother should not be sick, she should eat.

I went back to the hospital with ojol, walking to see you at the place before. It seems that my mother looks so sad from where I stand. I hastened my steps.

“Cil,” greet mom whose face looks red from crying.

“Mother, eat,” I said sitting next to him and opened the provisions I made.

“Mother is not hungry, Cil,” refuse mother.

“Mother should eat. Don't you usually force me to eat?”

Mother grabbed the box, ate it three spoons. He paused, looked at me then said, “you must not have eaten either, Cil.”

I couldn't lie to my mother so I shook my head slowly. Mother then began to bribe me. I don't care where I am now when I look like a little boy being fed. Anyway this hallway is pretty quiet.

I shook my head slowly when I no longer wanted to eat. I grabbed the small tote bag I had placed on the floor and picked up the bottled water. I offered it to the mother first while putting the box back into my small bag. Mother then gave me the rest of the water.

A few minutes waiting, I stood up, staring from behind the glass of my father's room. Dad was sound asleep despite the hoses wrapped his body.

The sound of the door opening from the inside showed a doctor who had just come out, walking towards the mother. Likewise with me who also reflexes follow the footsteps of the doctor.

“Patients need blood but the blood stock that patients need is empty at this time.”

“I'll donate it,” I said without a second thought.

“Cil?” Mother looked at me with an astonished look that I replied with a sincere smile. Mother actually knew that I was so afraid of needles.

“Alright, come with me.”

I walked over, following the big steps the doctor took into the examination room. The doctor then spoke to a nurse. And I was handled by that nurse. He took my blood. After the results of the examination came out, the test results showed that my blood matched my father's. Of course, I'm dad's favorite daughter.

I was led into the room where my father was and told to lie down on the other bed. I turned to the left, looked at my father's face which was 2 meters away from me, then smiled faintly. I turned my head back, looked at the ceiling of this room and then tried to close my eyes.

×××

"Nuts." The warm touch on my arm woke me up. I looked at the face of the mother who showed the look of her own face. Wait, this is a different room than before.

"Which father, Bun" I asked.

“Still in the same room," replied Mother.

"How is he doing?"

"You're healthy, right? Come with Mother." Mother clasped my hand tightly, stepping back into the same room as the previous one.

I walked back to my father from behind that window with my mother embracing me. There Dad still didn't realize either.

"Mother, are you in a coma?" I looked at the monitor screen next to my father.

Mother was silent, not answering. He lowered his head, watching his fingers he was playing with. A few minutes passed, we were enveloped in silence. My mom and I sat in the same chair before.

"It's midnight, Cil. You should go home," said the mother who just stared straight ahead.

I fell silent, not knowing what to reply to your words with

My father's patient monitor suddenly went off loud. I stood up, ran to get into the room, but the nurse forbade. “Let the doctor do his job," he said.

"Mother, what happened to you?." I cried, covering my face with both hands. Mother then took me in her arms. I'm really worried right now. My feelings are really mixed.

"Calm down" said the mother who currently rubbed my head.

I waited a few minutes, but the doctor did not leave the room. I don't know what's going on inside. I stood up, staring in through the window but my vision was blocked by a nurse standing behind me.

I again walked to the side of the mother, staring at the face of the mother who is currently flushed.

"Cil, I remember, you ever asked me about first love? Do you know the answer?" ask the mother who I know is trying to melt the atmosphere that is very thrilling for me.

"I already know, Mother. I also know who my first love was" I said.

"You already know what it looks like" Mother replied. "Mother also never find out about the nature of first love until at last, mother believes that your grandfather is your first love."

"Sorry, Mom. The patient will be moved to the hospital room." Someone cut our conversation.

"How's dad doing?" ask that guy.

"She's fine now.”

"Thank God," I hugged my mother with a happy feeling. Happy tears wet my cheeks. The uneasy feeling in my heart also started to slowly fade away hearing the news. Thank you, Lord.

×××

"Your daughter is very worried about you" said the mother who had just come with a pouch in her hand. Today is my second day in the hospital. Tomorrow or the day after, he can go home. Even the father now looks so healthy, different a few hours ago.

Father had just regained consciousness this morning but was still staring at us with a flat face and without saying a word. After that, my father went back to sleep and my mother also came home for a while. A few minutes later, he woke up and started talking to me the same way he used to.

"really?" ask dad. "Why don't you say it." Father turned to look at me who was currently sitting on the chair until his bed.

"It's the mother who's more worried, Dad. I don't see your mother's reddened face because it's really worrying, dad." I chuckled, stood up from my chair and sat on the bed, next to my father.

"You are this, Cil." Mother then sat down at my place earlier. "Let's eat. Mother bring 2 servings to eat together.

"Where's my mountain, Bun?" my many.

"There's a bag,"

"Gee, my stomach is finally filled," I cheered.

"You're this, Cil, like you've never eaten." Dad chuckles.

I ignored my father's words and walked up to get my box of rice and sat back in my place. I stared at the mother who started to feed my father after helping him to sit down.

"How's your test, Cil?" ask dad.

"That's it, Dad. It's hard" I replied.

"You're this, even 1 plus 1 if you say it's hard." He laughed, a few seconds later choking.

"Kunyah used to talk, Dad," said the mother and put the rice box on her side table while giving a bottle of water to the father.

My happy little family.