Trapped In Ambiguity

Happened again.

I've been through months without Devan. Although at first it was hard because there were habits that had to be changed, but when I managed to change the habit, everything became fine.

"How was the test, brother?" ask me to Rega.

Today is the last day of Kak Rega's exam, which means just waiting for high school graduation and it also means that our Monday is back in school. When I got home from school, Rega stopped by my house.

"Okay" replied Rega. "How was your day, Adel?"

We were both in the living room accompanied by a cold drink that I had served in front of Kak Rega. This is the second time Kak Rega has walked into the house since we dated after 6 months.

"It's normal, brother," I'm honest.

"Where are your parents?" ask Sister Rega.

"Wait, brother, I'm not ready to apply yet" I said.

"You're this." Brother Rega chuckled.

"They're inside, brother, will I call you?"

"no need. Just say my regards. I'll go home, baby."

"Didn't my brother just come? Why did you come home so soon?"

"My miss to you has paid off" said Kak Rega chuckled and then stepped out.

I then tidied up the drink on the table and brought it to the kitchen. I then returned, walking towards my room.

"Cie, there's something new in the dreadlocks, nih," teased Dad before I turned my door knob.

"What the hell, Dad? Oh yes, Brother Rega nitip greetings," I indifferently walked into the room and closed the door, preparing for the nap that had become routine.

***

Because Kak Rega's struggle in High School has ended then they are in liburkan. I came back like myself at this school. My relationship with my classmates was good, it's just that I wasn't very familiar with them. My months of solitude are coming soon. But I believe I will have a friend who is familiar with me.

I was standing at the gate, waiting for the taxi to pass. I reached into my bag when I heard my phone ring because a phone came in.

"Sister Rega?" I clenched my forehead, confused. I pressed the green button and brought my phone closer to my ear.

"Waiting for a taxi, baby?"

"Where do you know? "

"I'm here, looking at you from a distance. "

Kak Rega's words made me look over here and there, looking for his whereabouts, but I couldn't find him.

"You sore neck for looking for me."

"Where is Rega?"

"Wait, 10 seconds I'm in front of you."

I started counting in my heart, 3, 2, 1.

"Good day, baby" she said in front of me in her white car

"Why did you come here?" my many.

"There's something I want to talk to you about. Let's go up."

When I got in the car, Rega stepped on it, defended the crowded streets of the city and stopped it in front of a cafe.

I walked, followed Rega and finally sat down in a chair, and ordered ice cream. 8 minutes later, my favorite vanilla-flavored ice cream was presented in front of me.

Brother Rega did not answer me, but rather reached into his small bag and pulled out a letter. He put the letter on the table and pushed it slowly towards me.

"What letter is that, brother?"

"You won't know until you read it, dear" he said with a warm smile.

I took the letter and read it. It was an official letter because there was a number there. At least I can understand it even if the letter is in English.

"Why are you suddenly pouting?"

"This is right, brother?" shirihku.

"Yes, who would turn down the opportunity, Adel."

"Good sister." I forced my smile.

"What's up, Del? You don't seem happy about this."

"With that, won't Big Brother also leave? And we're going to split up?"

"We didn't break up, did we?" asked Kak Rega, looking directly at my bead.

"It would be better for me if it were the other way around," I withered, then lowered my head to avoid that gaze.

"But we can LDR, Adel."

I fell silent, trying to string the words in my mind. "I'm not the kind of person who can survive an LDR relationship, sis. If so, isn't breaking up the best way rather than hoping for when we'll meet in uncertainty." I stared at Brother Rega's bead.

"All right." Brother Rega seemed to be sighing harshly.

"If we are meant to be together. I'm sure we'll see you again, brother." I smiled and held his hand on the table.

"Adel." Brother Rega took both of my hands and grasped them tightly. He also looked at my bead. "Thank you for the 8 months we were together. Thank you for being my reason to rise. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of love. And I'm sorry I don't know how to make you happy."

"Who said you didn't give me happiness? I'm happy with the presence, brother. Thank you for those 8 months, brother."

"And Adel, I have to tell you something to let go of a responsibility."

"What's the responsibility, brother?" I looked at him, asking for answers.

Rega was silent for a few seconds. "Before Devan flew to America, at school that day. He asked me to look after you when he left and he didn't want me to make you cry. Then please don't cry."

"Of course, Brother. I won't cry."

We were then stuck in silence, a few minutes, and I opened the hand. "I have to go home, brother." I got out of my chair.

"I'll take you home."

"No need, brother. I'd like to stop by to buy a book." I smiled and walked out of the cafe.

I then stopped the taxi, showed me my home address, got on and sat down with the calm.

I stared at the road from the windshield of this car. My tears came back, soaking my cheeks. I'm sorry, brother, I think I have recited my own words.Pricilia Adel who can be tough in front of Kak Rega weakened now. But I can't go back to what I used to be, I now have a purpose in life that I have to pursue.

"Hey? You crying again? Guess how many times this has been," said the taxi driver.

"Be quiet, I'm not in the mood right now."

"I think you're gonna ignore me again" she said

Brother Rega, my girlfriend, I mean my ex-boyfriend was accepted at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge, America. Very far, isn't it? I'm so happy that he was there. It's just, I'm sad that I had to part with him.

But believe me, brother, I will try to be able to go to college there so that we can meet. I'm really going to fight for it.