Trapped In Ambiguity

Who's That Girl?

It's weird, 15 minutes later the bell goes off, but Devan hasn't come to my class yet. If Devan doesn't come to my class, I'll go to his class. I got out of my chair and walked out of class.

"Adel?" Brother Rega pulled my hand so that it made my steps stop.

"Yes, Brother?"

"Come to the canteen."

"But I'm going to Devan's class, brother."

"Later we come, I'm hungry." Rega seemed to be holding her stomach.

I nodded and with his posture on pulling Kak Rega into the cafeteria, I also seemed to need something to put in my stomach.

Upon arriving at the cafeteria, I heard a familiar voice in my ear, I looked around and found Devan eating with a girl at the end table. He was so happy, a smile emanated clearly on his face. Who's the girl? I didn't see his face, he turned my back.

"What do you want to eat, Adel?"

"Eh, Brother? I'm not hungry."

"Seriously?"

I looked at Brother Rega's face and nodded slowly. I then took a chair a little far from Devan, a chair that was near the entrance. I sat down, watching Kak Rega eat while occasionally glancing at my best friend.

"Want me a bribe?" asked Kak Rega while laughing a little that I responded with a headband. I was really not in the mood at the time.

Devan stood up from his chair and at that moment I saw the face of the girl who was with Devan. She's a girl with white skin, slender cheeks, squinty eyes and really big bodygoals. She was so beautiful that it made me feel inscure.

I didn't know Devan was pretending to ignore me or not. He just passed by beside me, how could he not see me? Did I make a mistake with him? I don't know.

I sighed harshly, being ignored by her made me really want to shed tears. My eyes are starting to heat up. I don't understand what's going on with my heart right now.

"What's up, Adel?" ask Sister Rega.

"Sister, I'm sorry, but I want to go to class first."

Brother Rega looked at me in surprise, but without asking he nodded his head. "Let's go home together, Adel. Wait for me at the gate" he said, to which I replied with a faint smile.

***

It had been a few minutes I waited for Kak Rega at the gate but he never came, even what I got was Devan who passed in front of me with a motorbike and also the girl. Any more? My heart is back.

Usually I am the one on the bike, on the way to my house while laughing. From this morning, I never talked to Devan, nor looked him in the eye.

"Adel."

I turned my head and found Brother Rega who was sitting on his car. I sat beside Kak Rega, just silent, reluctant to speak even though Kak Rega was busy telling stories beside me.

"Thank you, Brother."

I closed the door of Kak Rega's car, walked with his lung to my room and threw my bag just into the bed. I also threw my body into a prone position. My brain and heart need peace.

Do I really love Devan and make Kak Rega just as an outlet? But how is it possible? I like Brother Rega. He's kind, smart, considerate, and mature, very different from the really annoying Devan.

"Akh, what is love? why does it feel so complicated?" I'm shuffling my hair rough.

"Cil?" I knocked on the door of my open room. I fixed my seat and looked at my father's face. "Let's go down to eat. But wait. You're out of the centrum? Why is all your hair standing?"

"Dad, Devan was close to another woman and she ignored me" I said to the point.

Dad stepped in, sat down next to me. "You gotta make sure, is that Devan or isn't it? Because I'm sure, Devan will never really ignore you" said the father, stroking my hair.

"Did I take Kak Rega as an impingement, Dad?"

"You like Rega?" Father asked back.

"Looks, Dad."

"You'll know the answer to your own question, Cil," said the father gently. I looked at my smiling father's face. " Let's go down to eat."

***

"He hasn't come yet, Cil?" ask the father who just came out with his briefcase, it looks like he is going to the office.

"Yet, Dad." I breathed a rough breath.

"Let father take you to school."

I stared at the clock on my wrist, "5 minutes to go, Dad"

Five minutes of my time was wasted waiting for his presence. I've never waited like that before. It's only today and it makes me feel really disappointed with myself for being hopeful.

I walked in my car, reluctant to go to school. Reluctant to look at the face of the girl Devan and reluctant when Devan ignored me.

"Already, Cil. You meet him and talk to him well. Do not be influenced by your own prejudices that even damage your mood," said the father in the middle of the trip.

"It's over, let's get down." I looked around, apparently we were already in front of the school gate. I went down without saying goodbye to Dad.

The figure of the man was in front of me, walking alone in a hurry. "S." De." My words stopped as the same girl greeted Devan who was ten meters in front of me.

Upon arrival in class, I threw my bag on the table and sat up with my chin up, upset. Really am.

"What's the matter, Del?" ask Rasti.

"Beeb Devanmu walks with another girl" I said. My mood is completely ruined, after all this is my schedule.

"You serious? OMG,OMG, OMG" said Rasti, but for now I really don't care.

I hate that girl, whoever she is, I'm gonna hate her so much. I never considered someone my enemy, but that girl would be the first time.

I've raised my hate flag to the girl.