The Toga Rahayu

Andika POV

“You are so evil Rahayu, you are so evil, why can you say such words to people who have helped you in so many things here, why would you hurt her, why would you hurt her, he who has given you happiness while away from the family”, I blame myself pouring out all the turmoil in my heart.

After this I do not know what to do if I meet Dika mas, surely he really hates me, whether you when he wants to forgive me about a mistake that I do not intend to do at all. Whether someday or in the life to come I am still given the opportunity to apologize to Dika.

I'm really stupid, I regret what I did earlier, how could this have happened. I just want to make you happy. Will the actions I take make you happy?. I just want to make you happy smiling back with the person you love SO much’i.

Andika POV

My name is Andika Putra Maharaja, I am the first child of two brothers, actually I have one sister who is three years younger than me. Seven years ago when Eid al-Fitr I was visiting my grandmother's house in Bandung.

Anita named my sister when she was six years old, like the public in general when Lebaran arrived Thursday always visit the house of the brothers who were there. We visited my aunt's house next door to my grandmother's.

My sister and I joined hands with a few other cousins, but something happened to Anita when we were about to cross Anita left behind on the road because the road was crowded. Me and a few other cousins were already on the right side of the road while Anita was still left alone across the street. Realizing that Anita began to panic, she quickly chased after us who were already on the other side of the road.

Bad luck hit Anita he had an accident because when crossing the road did not see the condition of the road first, because the road was very crowded a sedan car hit him. I was so scared to see that. The family quickly helped and took Anita to the hospital but fate said another before arriving at the hospital Anita was dead on the way.

Ever since that incident I've been a poor man, I feel so guilty about it, not without reason because my parents had warned to take care of Anita but I was negligent in taking care of her until Anita had to lose her life.

I tried so hard to forget the incident, my parents never blamed me in the incident but my guilt continued to haunt me. Until one day I had a new neighbor from the next town.

He is Eki Nevitasari or you know him better by the name of Eki. Mama who had felt having a daughter felt there was a substitute figure when there was Eki who played every day to my house, when we were small. Mama was very comforted by the presence of Eki she felt she had a replacement for Anita so she told me to look after Eki, even our parents betrothed us both.

I feel guilty for my parents with the death of Anita I redeemed by looking after Eki, initially our relationship was just like a brother and sister until one day Eki expressed her love for me. I didn't dare to refuse I was afraid to let her down and not come back home because it must have made my mother sad.

The longer I have a relationship with Eki I feel sick of all his behavior and attitude that seems to rule my every life. His childish attitude and wanting to be accompanied made my steps limited in getting along and my space was increasingly limited.

One day I accidentally saw a girl in my college, she looked so pathetic, she was different from some girls I had met, he uses shabby clothes and a veil that already has irregular colors probably because it is too often in the sun and worn.

Her face is beautiful, white skin, has narrow eyes with a tiny body shape like Anita has its own charm for me. He is always in the back row, he is less confident with his appearance. For me it is not a deficiency but its own advantages for him.

Her name is Rahayu, yes I was interested in her since the first time I saw her, I want to know her more deeply, I like finding the figure of Anita in Rahayu. Wise Rahayu, hardworking Rahayu to connect her life. At first I only considered Rahayu as the figure of Anita as a substitute sister Anita, but our togetherness after some time made a different taste to her.

I felt a sense of peace when I was beside him, I felt very appreciated and became a helper when he had a lot of difficulties during his time here. His simple figure with clothes and a makeshift bag did not reduce the slightest bit of beauty on him.

The more days I got closer to him, until one time he said something that made me unable to think well.

Yes he said to stay away’nya no longer close to him, to go far away from him, he said if all this time just use me alone. Utilize to be a driver who drives everywhere, utilizing to do his tasks. I don't believe everything he says. How can a Rahayu I know be that much with me.

***

That afternoon when the class was over I rushed out of the classroom and headed for the elevator to get down to the ground floor, deliberately with hurried steps to avoid meeting Mas Anika.

Seen from a distance I saw Andika mas walking next to Mbak Eki, her face still looks the same tangled with disheveled hair.

Is it true what I chose? Why does Dika not look happy again with mbak Eki? Or it's still in the process, I don't know what I'm thinking about it for.

“Rahayu wait first”, the voice that I always miss every day, yes it's the sound of dika mas calling me. I tried to ignore it, I promised to stay away from’inya.

“Wait a minute”, dika dika run and hold one of my hands, our eyes meet long enough, realize that I quickly cut off the eye contact, I do not want to melt with his attitude.

“What's up? I'm busy”, I said with annoyance hiding all the flavors in the chest.

Eki quickly came to us.

”Already Dika let's go up briefly again class starts, anyways you do really care about this child”. Ma'am Eki looked at me sharply, while dika looked at me with a gaze that I don't know I'm afraid to misinterpret.