Suicide Notes

EXTRA 5: His Life is Over

A few weeks ago, Victor had disappeared from the foundation. The reason was to help Ray make his debut as a singer. He takes care of legality, marketing, contacting a lot of people and so on.

During those busy times, Victor also helps Ray grow his confidence. He turned the strange man who covered most of his face with bangs into a sweet young man who chatted while staring at his interlocutor.

Victor also listened to Ray's stories well. Responding to the potluck, including when Ray tells him that he hopes to die right when the sun sinks. Just like the time he was born.

All the activities and efforts are normal things done by Victor. He knew how hard it was to have no one, so he just wanted to help a little. From there, he made contact with many people in various circles. Unfortunately, Ray misinterpreted Victor's good demeanor.

Ray's heart was warm. After a long time, someone finally treated him as a human. He no longer felt as the scapegoat that was always to blame. The feeling grew, becoming something that should not exist between two men.

"I didn't mean for Ray to kill himself" Victor told Life and Death. "There's a lot I have to think about, and the message that doesn't stop is really disturbing."

"You want me to make him not kill himself?" bargain Life.

"Do you guys know? Ray used to work here. This wood processing plant is the only place that works most comfortably for Ray. The work is hard, and the partners are rude, but they all help each other" Victor explained.

"Of course we know, we also heard the story. He was the most sad when this factory closed. Even after that, he still came here often. Sitting alone, thinking to end life," replied Lazy Death.

Victor smiled faintly. "You know a lot."

"If you obey our orders, you can save her again this time," Life repeated.

"I don't think jumping off the third floor will cause death, as long as you get help right away."

"No one will help him here! This place is rarely passed!" snapped Life. "Only I can."

"Therefore Ray chose this place."

"Do you want to save him or not?" grim Life.

"Stop it" between Death. "This madman has absolutely no interest in saving that poor young man."

"Fright." Victor notices Ray sitting on the wall on the side of the roof after turning off his camera. "I'm dead. I shouldn't interfere in the affairs of those who are still alive. Besides, I can't do anything for her."

When Victor pleads for Tama's safety, it's a mistake because he's too emotional. He won't make the same mistake again. Let the living live their lives.

"I thought you were coming." Ray sighed, looking at the orange sky ahead. Within a few minutes, the sun will sink completely. "If you come, I will endure even though my feelings are unrequited. At least, you still care about me."

"Victor is dead" replied Victor. He just wanted to say it, even though Ray couldn't possibly hear. "There's no way he's gonna come."

And the time that awaited finally arrived. The sun has sunk. Ray did not see Victor's whereabouts, so he decided to jump with a feeling of disappointment.

The next second, what Victor saw was Ray's soul coming out of that blood-soaked body. He flew, towards the light up there, then disappeared.

"Why can't I fly into the light?"

The roof is mute. Not all questions get answers, including questions in the minds of Victor's acquaintances. Is Victor still alive? They didn't see the body. However, everything left behind by Victor already illustrates what happened.

The year changed quickly. After the internship was completed, Tama returned to her town. Once he got his degree, he soon returned to work on the foundation until this very second, when he was already dusk.

Between those times, even now, Tama often secretly wept for Victor. He refused to marry because he could not forget the man. Tama spends all her energy managing the foundation set up by her loved ones.

There was no announcement of Victor's death, but word of mouth, everyone was talking about it. Most of Victor's acquaintances knew that he had always wanted to kill himself. They just don't want to talk about it, and hope Victor finds his happiness soon.

In fact, it's not just Tama who is sad to know Victor never returned to the foundation. Everyone is like that too. Some have stopped hoping. It's just that most of them believe Victor is still alive in some part of the world. With its eccentric nature, it is certainly not impossible.

Do you remember that crazy guy Victor and Tama met near the restaurant? He was Victor's father. To be honest, the man was not crazy. He pretended, so Victor wouldn't avoid him anymore. He wanted to hug Victor back, only to realize Victor hated him so much. It was clear from those eyes.

As soon as Victor's rumor was gone, the old man went on a rampage. He ruffled the foundation he thought had failed to protect his son. He cursed and cursed. Ask them to return their hearts.

Sadness was clearly on his face. He had lost his beloved wife, and now his flesh and blood had gone, in much the same way. Suicide. Victor's father regretted never being so gentle. If not, maybe their family is happy right now.

A strange sense of pain, throbbing in Victor's chest. Out of everyone, the cries of his father who lost him were unimaginable to Victor.

While alive, Victor often met his insane father. Feed, then complain about the past. He always thought the man had completely lost his mind. And turns?

Victor's tears fell. The words, the hate speech, and all the bad things he said echoed in Victor's ears. He imagined his father being hurt because of it.

Was the old man holding back his anger from longing? Victor doesn't understand anymore. He then tried to hug his father. Sure, can't. However, he restrained his arm from penetrating the father's body.

Victor felt nothing when he saw his mother commit suicide. However, now he knows the feeling of anxiety, sadness and worry when his father groans, then dies of a heart attack. His father lived an irregular life to look like a madman. There are no healthy organs in there. Victor's death was an unbearable shock.

"I can't do anything if the problem is the physicality of man" lamented Life.

"We can only manipulate human feelings a little bit" added life.

...~•~...