Suicide Notes
Surprising Facts
“*That's the reason I've been looking for all this time? When he said it, it all sounded too simple to trust*.”
...~•~...
“Your acting is bad,” Victor commented. “If it will eventually be expelled as well, wouldn't it be better not to take it all with you?”
“Nothing can beat my acting in this world.” Elayne tidied herself up. “I need him so you don't constantly urge me to get straight to the heart of the conversation. I know very well you are afraid to talk about this in front of him. Just like I'm scared of Sean.”
“Iya-iya. I won't be pleasantries anymore, there's no need to put on an unpleasant face in view so.” Elayne smiled mischievously. “Again, I've heard what I want to hear.”
“Live it,” firmly Victor. “I don't have time to serve your nonsense.”
“Before that, you have to answer my question first.” Elayne advanced her body. “How often do you let others kill themselves? Not holding it at all?”
“I don't like to interfere with other people's lives.” Victor shrugged his shoulders. “If they ask for help, I will help him. Otherwise, I'll just shut up and watch.”
“Good!” Elayne was satisfied with Victor's reply. “Then don't help me - oh no, that is, help me not to be saved in time. Be as normal as possible.”
Victor did not bother to ask, as the intent of Elayne's request was clearly visible. The girl pulled out a package that read HCN. He flaunted the white powder inside towards the CCTV, then mixed it into his own drink.
“What stolen goods should be exhibited that easily?” syndicate Victor. “Shouldn't you ask permission before using my stuff?”
“Ingin stop me?” challenge Elayne.
“No. Do as you please, but after telling me the reason why I wanted to kill myself.” Victor smiled cynically. “Or maybe actually you don't know?”
“You're not very good at being patient.” Elayne took out two fortune cookies. “Now, help me to choose. Take one for you.”
“You are so complicated, even though you only want to kill yourself,” complained Victor, while taking one of the cakes randomly.
Actually, until when will he live like this? He does not want to be involved with the lives of others, but in the end the opposite happens. He kept many people from killing themselves, while he did not want to stay alive.
Victor's breath was restrained for a moment reading the paper in his fortune cookie. "Stop." The word came out just as he was questioning his life. Is it time to stop with all this?
“Finally!” elayne's cheer across the table.
“You are satisfied? Isn't it time you showed a little of your goodwill?” sue Victor.
“Hm, how to start.” Elayne put her fingertips together. “The reason you killed yourself is because you wanted to. As simple as that.”
“Hai... I can believe you have the answer I'm looking for,” Victor regretted. “And stupidly, I want to join this useless game.”
“Face. That's the answer you're looking for. You want to kill yourself because you don't want to live.” Elayne advanced her body. “We are the same. The sad past doesn't bother our lives at all. But life itself is what makes us empty.”
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to Sunday, then back to Monday. Life is repetition. Hours, days, and events around us. Everything happens over and over again, and it's always the same. Nothing really interesting.
“You often think life is sad, don't you? It's meaningless. Is useless. In the end, everything will disappear. You want to die, because you know sooner or later you will die too,” explained Elayne. “What's the point of staying alive?”
“You never say sweet words to hold someone who wants to kill themselves. For you do not believe in such words. Life is meaningful? Bullshit.”
Elayne's statement messed up the little “world” in Victor's mind. He locked his tongue to say nothing. Not wanting to agree, but not being able to argue.
“You must understand what I mean. My debt is paid off.”
“Every second, I pray that God takes my life. When I want to kill myself, I always wear fortune cookies to decide.” Elayne chuckles. “I always got the word ‘Stop', but still tried to commit suicide.”
“Today you gave me the word ‘Do'. This must be a hint from God that He will take my life. This time it's going to be the last experiment. I no longer need to live this wasted life.”
To hell with the insignificant concoction of Elayne. Victor did not care even though the girl's expression worsened after downing her poisonous drink. He focused on “pertumpar” in his head.
Why would he want to kill himself? That question has bothered Victor for years. Elayne's simple answer is simply unacceptable. He's not that sad.
“Cannot be. Impossible.”
While Elayne endured the pain in her chest that seemed to be about to explode, Victor passed. Walking with blank eyes, like an undead. He felt empty. Only God knows how to get home safely.
The god?
Was not the one who had just committed suicide a very obedient servant of God? They say that a devout person will never think of suicide. Maybe Elayne's the exception. Or he's not really obedient.
Victor ruffled his hair. Elayne's faith and destiny are by no means an important thing to think about, especially at a time like this. He needs to rethink his life.
Time is slow, but it passes without hindrance. Every second Victor's confidence in that statement grew stronger. As the darkness of the night enveloped.
Victor glanced at the glowing light from his phone located on top of the closet. There were many incoming messages in a row, producing a very disturbing vibrational sound.
Ray expressed his feelings at the wrong time. And again, threatening suicide should Victor refuse him? Ha! Had he known Elayne had just committed suicide using Victor's cyanide.
“If you want to die, just die. Don't drag me into your business. I don't care about anything that happens to you. Don't bother me.”
A reply was sent, and Victor immediately turned off his phone. He put it back on top of the closet, next to ... suicide note?
“Victor? Thank goodness you're here. Why was the light left to die?” Tama barged in and turned on the lights. He continued to rub both of his palms with a pale face.
“Go.”
Tama muttered, unaware of Victor's cold attitude than usual. “What you know, Elayne-“
“He's dead cyanide poisoning,” cut Victor. “I already know, now leave my place.”
“You read my message?” Tama breathed a sigh of relief. “I was very worried when I saw him alone and already convulsing on the floor. Then-“
“I said go, yes go!” snapped Victor. “I don't want to hear reports about his death, I already know all! Even more than you. Do you know where he got the cyanide? From lemiku!”
Victor rushed to show off the suicide equipment he had collected. He opened the small closet in front of Tama with a proud smile and also .. empty? Victor is not like himself now.
“I know and let it. I also know he took the cyanide from here. Then, what? It has nothing to do with you. You don't even like its existence.” Victor smiled cynically.
“Ha-ha. Stop joking.”
No matter how great the contradictory sentence Tama composed, her heart knew which one was right. Victor's expression .. Then the items in the closet, all correspond to the man's confession.
"Are you disappointed to know the true nature of the person you love?"
...~•~...
