Suicide Notes

The Girl Who Doesn't Know Anything

“Life is difficult, but that doesn't mean we can give up. Those who decide to end their lives simply because they are hindered by one-two problems are cowards.”

...~•~...

“Don't be a coward. Suicide is not an option! Running from problems will not solve anything,” said Tama with a burning spirit.

Victor smiled cynically in response. He knew Tama wasn't talking to him, but the endless talk about the meaning of life made him feel annoyed. She's fed up. Tama has ruined his comfortable sore.

What about the interlocutor Tama? The young man had been hearing this row of nonsense for longer than Victor. If it is not stopped, Tama will definitely not stop.

“Already, miss. Free you persuade him,” said Victor, moving closer. “Let him jump. What's the matter with you? You don't know him.”

“Not having a relationship doesn't mean I shouldn't care, right?” fierce the girl. “I'm not the type who can sit quietly watching others want to kill themselves.”

"Oh?" Victor's mouth was rounded with an indifferent face. "You care about him? I thought you were just trying to make her life more stressful. Which part of your sentence shows concern? Did you say you care about him? When saying the problem he was facing wasn't difficult?"

Victor chuckled, then continued, “You don't even know what he's been through all this time. Just because you forbid him to kill himself, doesn't mean you care about him.”

Victor breathed a long breath. Waving out all his frustrations is a relieving activity. “You'd better just go. You won't be able to watch the next scene.”

Tama wanted to refute, but a second later her expression changed. He smiled and walked away willingly. “Deliver the rest to you, Vic,”.

Victor won't worry about how the girl knows her name. Or why his attitude changed suddenly. The most important thing is that he's gone.

Victor stood on the safety wall with the suicidal man, watching the ground welcome them until they fell.

“I'm not sure jumping from the third floor will make us die. I think it should be at least from the fourth floor, and welcomed by the concrete wall" Victor said.

“Thank you.”

Victor turned his head and read the sentence written on the mobile screen of the young man next to him. “Can't talk, huh?” ask her frontally, then continue with hand movements. “Use sign language only. Can, right?”

The man nodded, moving his hand to say, “Can.”

“I was surprised, why you just kept quiet hearing the babble of the girl. Turns out..” Victor stretched his arm muscles.

The young man next to Victor did not respond. He only glanced at his phone screen for a moment, then looked at the descending sun. Like it's in a hurry.

“You haven't told me your opinion,” Victor said again. “Are you sure we would die if we jumped here?”

The young man tilted his head, a sign of not understanding. It felt like something was wrong with Victor's words so he didn't know what to respond to.

“I just want to know how much chance we'll die if we jump here." Victor shrugged his shoulders. "What's your name?”

“R-a-y,” Spelling Ray with sign language. "What are you doing here? You better go home."

“I've always wanted to kill myself. Unfortunately, I was a coward, so never tried it.” Victor smiled broadly. “But I guess, if someone accompanied me, I might have some courage. Come join hands and jump together!”

Ray quickly grabbed Victor's hand. Not to shake hands, but to push Victor down from the safety wall.

“Do not play around!” amuk Ray's. There was no sound of tantrums, but his expression was enough to tell how angry he was.

“I'm serious. Wouldn't it be nice if we had friends to die with? We might as well arrive at the next world at the same time. We won't be lonely.”

“Stop your nonsense and go,” firmly Ray through both hands.

“I'm curious. You seem to be trying to prevent me from committing suicide. Then why do you even want to kill yourself?”

Ray glances at the phone screen, then ignores Victor. His eyes focused on the sky that had turned orange.

“Ah .. You are not exciting.” After thinking for a while, Victor decided to turn around and leave. As Ray wished.

“Mood-ku is suddenly gone. I'll kill myself next time. May be a-”

“Hold him!” yelled Tama while pointing towards Ray.

Victor turns around and finds Ray ready to drop himself. It was a very tense moment when he reflexively grabbed Ray's arm. One second too late, Ray must have been bleeding down there.

“What are you doing?!” Tama runs, and immediately helps pull Ray back up to the side of the roof. “Do not waste your life!”

In a tense situation that risked Ray's life, Victor's mind dissolved in his own imagination. He looked at the ground below with a blank look, imagining his body lying lifeless.

“If I lean in, I will definitely fall with Ray. It was supposed to be an accident, not a suicide. If I die while helping people .. I can't possibly regret it, right?”

Victor doesn't lie when he says he's always suicidal. Slowly he relaxed himself so that they would fall together. But ...

“Please, release me.”

The hoarse voice drew back Victor's consciousness. “You are not mute?” tanyakanya.

“It doesn't matter now! Quickly pull him, I am not strong,” said Tama.

Victor completely forgot that Tama was still here. He has no choice but to pull Ray and save him. When their condition was better, their surroundings were pitch-black.

“My hand hurts,” complained Tama, leaning against the wall.

“Sorry,” wrote Ray on his phone. He could only stand with his face down. His tears one by one began to fall.

“Can't you talk? Why write and use sign language?” lamented Victor indifferent to Ray's circumstances. Not like the person who just saved the person who was about to commit suicide.

Tama glanced at Ray and Victor in turn. What's he supposed to do now? He could not see Ray's depressed face, but he also did not want to be blamed by Victor.

Ray looked down deeper and then said softly, “You shouldn't have saved me.”

“Why are you so eager to end life?” tama Jengat. “Others desperately survive, and you're wasting the life you have."

“I'm hungry,” cut Victor. The man stood up, paying attention to the surrounding forest area. “Where are we? Is there a place to eat near here?”

...~•~...