Suicide Notes

Prologues

Suicide. I was ten years old when that "stupid" desire first appeared in my head. Even so, my life did not immediately stop that second either.

I was still alive the next day, the next week, the next month, even in the next few years I was still breathing normally. At least physically I am still fine until the day I write this.

Someone once asked me, "You always look relaxed, aren't you afraid of anything?". At that time I did not answer at all, but in my heart I laughed at the silly question.

I am a normal human being. Of course there are many things that I fear, such as falling from a height, being stabbed by a knife, a robber, a snake, a crocodile or some such wild animal.

I am afraid of everything that puts my life at risk, just like most people. However, among the long list of things that I fear, there is one that is in the top spot—most scary in my opinion—and that is life.

I think it's funny. I was afraid of everything that could cause death, while the thing I thought was the most frightening was to stay alive. I sound like a silly guy, don't I? But that's how it is.

In my eyes, staying alive and moving on with life looks so horrible. Everything that happened to me and everything around me prompted that thought. Death is the best way out of all problems.

Can I just end this scary life?

No. gabe. I'm coward.

Every time my hand grips a knife, rope, or poison—every time I get ready to die—my body trembles in fear. What if I'm gonna regret this?

I stared at the blade on the surface of my skin. If I think about it, why would I want to end my life?

It felt annoying every time my suicide attempt reached this point. I have no reason to die until I cannot kill myself. What is the importance of that reason?

Will they be disgusted and let me rot without being buried? Will they cuss my body as an unlucky carrier? How many will curse my funeral or spit when it passes through my grave?

Can't do. At least they should let my body back to the ground.

That's why I wrote this note. I hope, y'all—anyone who reads this—will be touched. At the very least, you must be willing to dig a grave for my final rest.

The next page you're going to read is the reason I killed myself. Although I am still not aware of the reason at the time of writing, I hope that whatever the reason is you will not condemn it.

...~•~...

18+ CONTENT WARNING!

Almost every section contains traumatic scenes, domestic violence, abuse, depressive symptoms and suicidal thoughts and sentences— who fear being misinterpreted as persuasion.

It is not recommended for those who are underage, mentally unstable, major depression sufferers and people who only know to insult and underestimate people with depression.

The reader policy is highly expected. If you have different thoughts/opinions, please say in a polite sentence and do not corner any party.

Greetings from RieeHime. May you endure until the last part of your life! Happy Reading's!