Suicide Notes

I Want to Come With Him

"*He left me with all these stifling feelings. With regrets I remember for a lifetime. With wounds that will never heal. Why don't you just take me with you? Don't we love each other*?"

...~•~...

"Finally you arrive" Ginnete said. "I've been trying to get her to come home, but she insists on seeing you."

"No problem, I'm not busy either." Victor walked past Ginnete. "He's in my room, isn't he?"

"I'm glad to see you're often at the foundation. Should I make you a drink?" ginnete.

"Can." Victor paused for a moment before entering his room, blocking Tama. "You just wait here. I don't like anyone interrupting my conversation. Especially by someone like you."

"What does that mean? Didn't you say you'd start acting normal to me?" Tama scowled, feeling she had been lied to by Victor.

"That's already an unwritten rule on the foundation. When there was a guest for Victor, they would chat together without anyone interrupting. Come on, you come with me to make a drink, "persuade Ginnete.

"Come ... Where are you? Pick up your phone, or at least reply to my message." A woman muttered while biting her fingertips. He can't stop back and forth in Victor's room.

"Is there a problem?" reprimand Victor.

"I'm not sure. My sister could not be contacted at all. Usually in urgent circumstances though, he would take the time to reply to my message." The woman was busy typing something on her phone. "Come on, Alina, where are you?"

Victor blinked, then restrained Jesie's shoulder. "Alina your sister?" tanyanya did not believe.

"Indeed why? You knew her?"

"Didn't you remember her three days ago?" said Victor carefully. "In the restaurant"

Yesie's shout stopped the sentence Victor wanted to say. He pulled his hair as hard as he could. "No... no. .. i-it's not true. It was just a nightmare. This morning Alina still replied to my message."

The humanitarian side of Victor trembled at the scream after scream that Yesie was throwing. If you forget, Yesie is Alina's half-brother who committed suicide while Victor, Tama and Ray were having dinner together. He refused the girl's love.

Victor's lips twitched. He was once the family of someone who committed suicide. He was even the cause of the incident. However, he was not as miserable as Jesie. Is ...

"Do you love him, too?"

The question just escaped Victor's mouth. The question whose answer can be summed up by Victor himself. Look, Yesie's getting hysterical about blaming herself for Alina's death.

"I'm not supposed to say that ..." Yesie was sitting limp on the floor. "If I had answered in a better way .. no, I should have been honest so that we could be together. If he wants to escape, I'll go with him. Even if he wants to end his life ..."

Victor, who had initially been silent and attentive, rested in front of Jesse. He clasped Jesie's right hand, patting her softly. Yesie held it back.

"She said she loved me, but why did she just leave? Why didn't he take me?" tugut Yesie's. "I want to go with him. I'm gonna die ..."

Yesie said muttering, "In Alina's grave it must have been colder, moist and darker. He was alone and lonely. Should I accompany him?"

Victor patiently calmed Jesie down. Help him regain consciousness. It took quite a long time, and he had to hear the various obscure Yesie concoctions. At least Victor's efforts were successful.

"Are you calm?" Victor. "Then can I know why you want to see me?"

"I'm sorry. Though I just wanted to thank you for blocking the restaurant guests from photographing Alina's condition, but I messed up here" explained Yesie. "I still can't believe he's dead. I even hallucinated getting a message from him."

That only? Yesie has wasted Victor's precious time. Victor breathed a disappointed breath. "No need to think, what I did was not much."

"For us it means a lot. If you don't stop, then Alina's face will be plastered in newspapers, newspapers, and social media. Become spectacle. He's gone, we can't accept if someone blasphemes him."

"I understand."

"Alina is the child that Mama brought with her when she married Papa. We had no blood relation, never knew each other so our relationship was very bad in the beginning. We hate each other."

Yesie glared at the ceiling. Given how he used to fight with Alina. Papa and Mama they were overwhelmed, and almost gave up. Then ...

"Looking at his weak personality irritated me, as well as pity. I can't just shut up when my sister's about to be bullied, can I? So I helped her. Since then, slowly our relationship has improved."

Yesie loved Alina as much as her own sister. The feeling slowly grew into something else without anyone noticing. Nothing can prevent it from growing stronger.

On the other hand, Alina started to have similar feelings, but she could not hide them. Mom and Dad easily realized that. They invite Yesie to a discussion, and decide that their two daughters should start to keep their distance before it's too late.

"I realized then that my feelings for him were wrong. Against norm. I agree with Mama's idea, I don't want Alina stuck in the same feeling. Therefore, when she expressed feelings, I rejected her firmly. Turns out ..." Yesie's voice choked. "I'm sorry, I'm talking everywhere."

"Just calm. In this room you're free to say anything." Victor smiled warmly. He never supported each other's relationships, nor did he ever oppose them. More precisely, Victor did not care and did not want to get involved. He just smiled to make it look polite.

"You're a good man. I don't know which lucky girl will get you." Yesie smiled back. Well, the lucky woman that Yesie meant would never exist. "Oh, right. I also brought a small donation to the foundation. Actually, I'm a little shy about handing it over, because it's too little."

"There's no shame. We always receive the slightest help, not just material. We'd also love to welcome new volunteers, if you'd like to join." Victor receives a brown envelope that Yesie handed him. "Other times you can go straight to the administration."

"certain. And thanks for the offer, I'll think about it. For now, I'm letting go." Yesie got up, bowed slightly, then left the room.

"One day someone wants to end his life because of love." Victor glanced at Tama who was standing like a statue a few steps away from him. He's been so since delivering drinks.

"Just calm. I'm not gonna kill myself for being rejected." Tama smiled broadly. "You don't either."

...~•~...