Suicide Notes

Old Man Away Kara

“*Remember my story about a woman who committed suicide after successfully living with the person she loved? That was the man he left behind. He went crazy for love. That word again. Just calling it makes me ticki*.”

~•~

Emotion is the most exhausting activity. Especially if done on an empty stomach, and after walking far enough.

“Happy meal.” Victor greeted his food enthusiastically. However, before touching those delicious dishes, he fell silent for a moment. Thinking, walk towards the booking table then come back again.

“What's up?” ask Tama.

“Just eat your food,” replied Victor.

Someone who learns quickly. He already understood how Victor's anger and hatred worked. And he knew what kind of attitude would not spur it. So, Tama will not break Victor's mood by forcing those unimportant questions.

Without conversation, breakfast—at almost noon—it ends quickly. The unpleasant atmosphere when accompanying Vero had already disappeared without a trace, but today was not over.

“Bring this,” Victor command while handing over the food pouch the cashier gave him.

“For lunch?”

“Your stomach is still not fully filled?" Victor rolled his eyeballs lazily. "Give it to him.”

Tama followed the direction Victor pointed to with her eyes. There was an old man in shabby clothes across the street.

“You want to help him? Why not say okay? And also, what's wrong with giving it yourself?” Tama shrugged both shoulders. Despite the protests, the girl continued to do as she was told.

Victor held Tama back, and smiled meaningfully. “Consider its appearance and manner of speaking. It will be fun,” he said accompanied by a mild oddity.

The old man clutched Tama's arm. I don't know what he's saying, but it looks so bad. Victor really couldn't help but laugh at Tama's frightened face. The girl ran back to Victor's side.

“What do you think?” ridicule Victor.

“You pranking.” Tama adjusted her breath that was panting, while the man was still furious from his place.

“No, I just told you to do a favor,” Victor said still with his laugh.

Victor ignored all forms of protest and condemnation by Tama. He focused on the old man. The man who decided to bring the food wrapper that Tama had just given with him.

Their eyes met for a few seconds. The look seemed to represent a conversation. The old man then snorted and turned away.

“So, what do you see?” ask Victor. He no longer wanted to see the direction of the old man's departure.

“You mean, his appearance? He's dirty, smelly, old, dirty and obviously unkempt. The language is very rude. He seemed to be groping, saying I killed his wife,” Tama explained. “You know him?”

“Not really.” Victor weighed for a moment, then changed his answer. “I only know him a little. Do you remember my story about the woman who committed suicide, despite having succeeded in being with the man she loved?”

“Remember.” Tama nodded steadily. “But you didn't say the reason for the suicide. It can't be because you're happy, right? There must be another problem.”

“Other problems?” Victor tried to think hard. “His husband loves him, works hard to finance their lives. Their families were against it, but also could not do anything. The only problem he has is himself.”

“I can't respond to a story that isn't clear the tip of this base.” Tama scratched his nape.

“You don't need to know their life in detail. Just know these two people love each other. One committed suicide while regretting his own feelings. And the other one went crazy for being abandoned by the person he loved the most.”

Tama whimpering. “I don't understand, why are you saying that?”

Victor looked back at the old man disappearing. A second later, his face turned relaxed again. “Nothing. I just want to give you advice. Love is deceiving. So, don't let you fall in love.”

“I've fallen in love.” Tama held her own hand. “And you know who it is.”

“Difficult. The contract was no bigger than my room. And my feet hurt every night.” Tama smiled. “Let's just say I've been deceived by love. For the sake of being closer to the person I love, I am willing to do anything.”

“I hate your family.” Victor glanced at Tama's brows which were cluttered in confusion. "They're just as bad as dad - not just dad, but everyone around Vero."

“You don't even know my family.”

“When I first met, I heard them whispering to each other. Suspecting that I was an infiltrating journalist. What if the news tomorrow contains the latest conditions Adriana?” obviously Victor.

At that time, Victor was still trying to think positively. However, after meeting again on the day of Adriana's departure, he realized the annoying thing. About how the family considered Adriana's suicide attempt a family disgrace.

“They only attach importance to reputation. It was like they wanted to curse Adriana's body. They-“

“I already know,” cut Tama. “I obviously know that best. Don't say anymore.”

“As Alina jumped in the restaurant, the officials there also considered it bad luck.” Victor chuckles. “Considering people who commit suicide are disgusting, when they are the ones who caused the act. Sometimes, I think, maybe it's time for humans to perish.”

“I think, this talk is over.” Tama turned her face away.

As the person closest to Adriana, she must have been hurt by the attitude of her extended family. If his father wasn't the head of the family, they would have blatantly thrown all the insults.

“After I noticed, it doesn't seem like you're as disgusting as them.” Victor smiled and rubbed the top of Tama's head. “At least you still have a conscience.”

Tama's face flushed. Victor's words warmed his heart. “Thank you.”

“Don't get me wrong, I'm just saying that you're more human. Now, go to the foundation.” Victor smiled mockingly. “Isn't this young lady exhausted and no longer able to walk?”

“Apanya-“ Tama felt her legs tremble. How far has he walked since morning? Four or five miles, maybe?

“See?” Victor laughed out. “Sana. Consider it an order from your pamong.”

Tama's eyes immediately sparkled as Victor recognized himself as his pamong. However, he immediately shook his head firmly. “No. I won't leave you for a second. Who knows when you will be back?”

“Take it easy. If there is no obstruction, I will be home before the sun sets.”

“What's the guarantee?” taku Tama's.

Victor raised his little finger. “Little appointment, maybe?”

“How old are you? Pinky finger where can be used as a guarantee,” grunts Tama.

“Didn't women like childish things like this?” Victor clenched his hand. “How about boxing? You're free to beat me up later if you don't keep your word. Fair enough?”

Tama hit Victor's boxing plan. “Already. Just make sure your phone stays on to pick up my call.”

“Agree. Now, go.”

Victor waved at the taxi Tama was riding in. In one wave, his smile vanished. He breathed heavy breaths. Expelling while smiling is indeed the easiest way to deal with a young girl like Tama.

Lately, Victor hasn't had much time on his own. A lot of things happened. He needs to walk and think about everything. As always.

As he thought, Victor met the old man again. However, the man was unaware of Victor's existence because he was busy berating everyone he met.

“Not having people to scold makes him crazy,” inner Victor. “He's still the same grumpy old man.”

...~•~...