Substitute Mother
Chaptre 62. It Has to Be You
Mark blinked his eyes, still unable to properly process his lover's words a few seconds ago. “What?”
“Come fuck, Mark. Have me all you want, I want you to destroy me”
The sentence was spoken with a vibrating tone but full of confidence. Mark, who had all his common sense gathered, glanced at the entrance of Victoire, where he could see a glimpse of Johnny's reflection from behind the glass, looking at him flat before leaving his place.
“Mark.”
The man shook his head. “No, Hannah. You're in a state that can't make you think straight”
“But this is what I want! It's my wish!”
“Ssh, we're talking at home huh? not here. Come.”
**
“You almost knocked me out when you heard the bleeding, baby”
Renatta who was in his arms, corrected and secured his position. “But I'm right, I'm also freaking out not playing. I'm afraid of losing our son. Thankfully you took me to hospital”
Jeffrey sighed, he was also relieved to find that both the fetus and Renatta were fine. Because after reaching the apartment of his girlfriend who was sitting with blood on her shorts, Jeffrey without a second thought immediately carried her to go to the hospital. Not the Pelita hospital, of course. Other hospitals are also in the city centre. Luckily the doctors said nothing serious and their baby-to-be was healthy.
“I have to go home. You okay I'm left?”
Renatta pouted, eager to feel he slept in Jeffrey's arms like yesterday. Prianya saw Rena's reaction, then kissed the tip of her nose softly. “Night I didn't come home. Inipun I only brought a jacket and car keys. I even left my phone because I left in a hurry. I'm afraid my wife will see my phone”
“Ya, just go home. I'm fine” as strong as any desire to hold Jeffrey, Renatta still remember where the place is.
“I will try to set the time so that I can accompany you more often. I'm sorry”
One last kiss on the forehead before Jeffrey got up, put on his jacket. Renatta who was initially sleepy, then changed his position to sit.
“Do you apologize to your wife too?”
“Ya, of course”
“Jeff, can I ask you something?”
His opponent nodded. Renatta. “Do you have children from your wife?”
The movement of Jeffrey's hand buttoning his jacket stopped. “What?”
“Do you have children? All this time I only knew you were the husband of someone. You never shared a story about your son”
Jeffrey was silent, not shaking but not nodding.
“Jeff.”
“I.. We have not been blessed with anak”
Renatta had not had time to respond because the man immediately said goodbye and left in a hurry. Leaving him back in solitude.
**
Mark and Hannah have just entered Mark's apartment, which Hannah has been returning from recently. On the way home, no one spoke, resulting in silence surrounding the atmosphere of Mark's car. Hannah was looking out the window while Mark was still holding a big question mark.
“You hungry? Want me to order something?”
Hannah raised her eyes that looked down at the tiles. “I'm not hungry”
“You said you loved me.”
The man's lips turned a thin smile. His body, which had walked first in front of Hannah, was now turned to face her lover. “I love you, yes it is. But that doesn't mean I'm willing to comply with your irrational requests. Didn't you say your own stories are only for your husband?”
“So you don't want to be my husband?”
Mark's lips clucked, his head dizzy when Hannah, who for the first time made his patience feel tested. “Hannah, baby, I love you, I respect you as the woman I love. All this time our skinship was just hugging and kissing, never more than that, because I know that's your comfort limit. I don't want to go through it, and don't equate me with the guy in Victoire who dreams of taking you to bed”
“You only love me, but don't want me.”
Mark laughed blankly, not believing how stubborn Hannah was just to accept her opinion.
“I want you, very. But again, I appreciate you. I enjoy being with us, and it's not just about***, dear. It is precisely I who should ask you, what triggers you to ask me to make love? Your decision is like a hurry, if you have to do it, I want it when we are both in a clear mind. Not like now”
Hannah just wanted to open her mouth, but Mark's connecting faster.
“Don't you think I don't know any irregularities in Victoire. Starting from my name that is like a blaclist from there, then you are acting strange every time you go home to work, then the smell of masculine perfume that sticks to your body. Wanna add? Yesterday you were pointing at me like a stranger. You stayed away when I hugged you after you took a shower. Hannah, what are you hiding?”
Mark no longer speaks. He chose to wait for Hannah to speak, but along with the clanging of the clock in the living room, her lover did not open his mouth. The girl just looked down, looking at the floor that seemed more attractive than her man.
“Alright if you don't want to answer now. I won't force you again. Now, sleep. You and I are both tired”
When Mark's body disappears from behind the door, Hannah hides her face, as if it could hold back the tears from flowing. The crying that he had been holding. Hannah was frustrated, sad, angry, and disappointed in herself. In the aftermath he had made up his mind to choose Mark as his first man. Because he was afraid, afraid that he would lose control like that under Louis. Hannah fears Louis will destroy the dream she slowly built with Mark. Dream of her chance to live a normal life like other women, which is to build a household with a lover and live happily.
**
“Doctor Tyona?”
Judith stopped her trolly when she saw a beautiful figure wrapped in a dark blue blouse standing not far in front of her, grabbing some apples into a plastic bag. The one called then turned his head, then smiled amiably. Judith approached.
“Nay—astaga, Judith I mean. Your faces were really that similar until I reflexively called you Nayara”
Judith laughed. “Doctor holiday?”
“Yes, today is my day off. And because the contents of my fridge were empty, so I decided to go grocery shopping. You?”
Judith pointed at the trolly. “Aera ask to make fruit pie. Because the ingredients in the house are not there so I shop first, while waiting for school hours. So after from here I can directly pick him”
“Ah, Jeanno says you're good at cooking. Can I teach you another time? I suck so bad at kitchen”
One eyebrow Tyona raised was astonished to see Judith looking at him in amazement. “Why?”
The one asked shook his head while smiling. “It turns out women as perfect as doctors have their drawbacks too, which is not able to cook”
Tyona laughing. “Perfect what, I'm not that good, Judith”
“But to be honest doctor, the first time I saw you I was really, really amazed. The doctor is very beautiful, elegant, and authoritative. Especially if you know the career background of the doctor. Well it feels like doctors live the dream days of all women”
‘Ya’'s dream of a thin smile is engraved, finding that her life is not as beautiful as the one in Judith's shadow.
“You're overdoing Judith. Already, don't worship me like that, later my head big”
The two share a laugh.
“Oia, how is Jeanno?”
“Jeanno?” Judith asked back, not knowing the meaning of Tyona's question which instead of asking about Aera but instead her father.
