Should We Get Married?

The Lies of Rani

Rani did not answer. It was as if he was thinking of something. I'm really getting pissed. "Sister!" now I'm pressing him more. I hitchhiked in this house, but I didn't want to be used as material to get money from Juan. I have my pride. It should be that if Rani really needs money she can talk to me. I also have a mind, will not hitchhike without thanks.

"That's .. I bought Yu. I see you never drink pregnant women's milk or vitamins. Even though you need it, so I took the initiative to buy it." replied Rani, she forced a smile.

"O that? Where did that money come from? Brother hasn't worked for a long time." I didn't take my eyes off him.

"That's .. why the hell is Yu, what's your equal business. That's money for Cici."

"Oh. From where?"

"Mmm" he hesitated to answer. I know because we both promised, he won't help Juan with my problems. He will be neutral.

"Not from selling, right?"

Rani looked shocked. There was a glimmer of anger that I caught from his neutrality. I realized that it had offended him in a hurry istighfar. Why should I follow my emotions to offend others. As soon as I wanted to apologize he was gone.

"Sister!" I chased his steps, trying to stop him before he got out of the house.

"What Yu?" he glares. Must be mad at me. Although it's true her job as a woman at night, but I shouldn't have discussed it. It feels very disrespectful. "It's not from a sale, Yu. I do work as a night woman who usually serves striped men, but this is not from selling. This is not my money, but ...."

"But what? From Juan, right? Why should you lie to me? I know he's here. The groceries were also from her, right?" I was impatient, forced to search so that he did not lie let alone evade.

"Yes Miss Ayu. This is all from Juan. He gave it to her. He asked me to take care of you. Already been? Satisfied now?"

"Sister did it all for the money, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sister, why the hell did you have to do all that? Aya already believes in brother but sister must betray brother. I told you I don't want to be in touch with Juan. You know, I'm a victim of perkos-----, it's not nice to meet constantly with the perpetrator who has ruined my future!"

"Yes I understand Yu, but ...."

"How much can you give me, Yu? A month I need a minimum of ten million. Can you give him?"

"What?"

"Yes, I need a lot of money Yu. You didn't forget that my daughter had HIV Aids since she was in the cage. Both of you are infected with the virus. It is not easy for Yu to survive with the disease, especially Cici is still very small. I need a lot of money. In addition to the cost of treatment, he must also consume drugs that are not cheap. We need a lot of money to survive in a world too cruel for us, Yu.

Juan gave it away. Not for the fee for my building as his spy to look after you. But he did it long before you came into our lives. You want to know the reason? All right, I'll let you know. Juan's father is Cici's biological father. My daughter is Juan's half-sister. Understand, now?

Juan doesn't want his half-brother's life to suffer, he always tries to give his best for us. Juan really humanized us, when the whole world looked at me contemptuously. Like you said, I won't be able to make much money other than selling myself. That's right Yu. But I promised Juan I would leave the nightworld even though it wasn't easy for me. I still have fears, how to survive if it doesn't work. All I can count on is selling myself. That's how bad I am, isn't it?" brother Rani smiled as she shed tears.

I didn't reach the heart. Guilt also haunts me. I shouldn't have spoken that bad to her. She is a good woman, she does all that there must be a reason.

"Sir .. forgive me," I said.

"It's okay, I deserve to be insulted like that,"

"Sister," I could not hold back tears, so I cried in the arms of Rani. "sister is an honorable woman, a great mother. I did it for the child. I'm sorry, brother. I've been guilty of accusing a nondescript brother."

"You should know one thing, Yu. Juan's not as bad as you think. He is guilty of taking away your honor. But I'm sure he doesn't really want to ruin your life. It must have had a reason. It's not easy for Yu to face the person who has destroyed Kuta's future, just like I used to. I experienced the same thing as you. My honor was forcibly taken away until I finally had to be a woman of the night. Unfortunately the culprit is not as responsible as Juan. He didn't care even if I was kicked out by my family. There was no other choice for me who was not seventeen at the time. I had to wander far away to cover up the disgrace of our family.

Yu, I won't force you to forgive Juan because that's the message to me. I can't interfere in your business. He just wants you to be comfortable here because after all he loves you and you will have children. But think carefully if your child will not have a father."

Silent. Brother Rani said goodbye to come out for a while, while I still kept quiet myself thinking about what Rani's sister said.

Juan, actually do I really hate him? Until now I was still confused when he was far from me I was looking for his figure but when he was in front of me I really hated him.

I can't deny that between us there will soon be a baby. But I'm not sure if that baby will be a binder for us or backfire on me.

Hate it? I don't know if it's really a feeling of hate? I really hated Juan. But now for some reason when he's not around I'm trying to find him. I'm really confused by all this. Just to understand my feelings I can't.