Should We Get Married?

Dreams That Cannot Fade

"Mending just stops," suddenly someone stood beside me carrying a pile of dirty dishes. His name is Doni, he's also a waiter at this restaurant. "I see you're uncomfortable, maybe you're having morning chicknees. Usually mothers who are pregnant young so and very sensitive to the smell of dirty dishes used food. It'll make you suffer."

"I'm okay, really." I said, trying to keep from vomiting.

"It's okay but your face can't lie. Pale and looks uncomfortable. Must be throwing up, right?"

"Engg .. huekk huek," I couldn't stand it, forced to vomit because the smell of these dirty dishes really tormented me.

"Tuh, right," he swiftly took the sponge in my hand, then continued my work. For a moment I was stunned, then regained my senses and asked for the dishwasher sponge. "If you say here, yes nurut. Don't force yourself. I know how heavy a woman is when she's young pregnant. It's not comfortable."

"Here," I said.

"No, let me help you. Poor you. Never mind. Don't be stubborn. Just massage. Now rest there "he points to a seat not far from you

"I don't need to be pitied" I feel sorry for people I don't know, I'm not a weak person anyway, so there's no need to be pitied.

"Where is his father?" he glanced at me then refocused on his dirty dishes.

"Huh?"

"I mean, your son's father. You're pregnant again."

I didn't answer because I didn't want to talk about it. After all he was a new person I knew just because it just happened to be one place of work. So I don't think it's necessary to share my story with him. Especially we are the opposite sex. What happened between me, Juan and Bagas traumatized me close to men.

"I want to go to college, so I have to work" I said. "In the medical school the cost is not cheap, so I have to prepare everything early on."

"Oh, so. I salute the people who work hard to realize their dreams" he said. "Two years ago, when I just graduated High School, I also had ambitions to continue my education after High School. I also want to be a doctor. So after the graduation exam I worked, but unfortunately the dream had to be delayed because I had to accompany my father. He's very sick, I have to take care of him and all my savings are drained. Now that my father is gone, I think it's time to make my dream come true. Next year, I will enroll in the same school as you. I want to be a doctor too. So, we're gonna be rivals."

"Huh?"

"Hehehehe, no need to worry. I'm sure we can compete 'cause I see you're smart, too."

"See where?"

"From your eyes."

I wanted to laugh, but I could stand it. We who were originally stiff have already gradually melted. Our conversation is getting closer. Meet with mas Doni makes me know a lot of things to prepare for college next year.

"Just don't give up, Yu. Remember, if you do not have a fee, just apply because there is a scholarship. And if you need help, don't know to ask for my bangtuan because next year InshaAllah we are one generation!" add the Doni mas to make my spirit passionate.

***

The sky of Jakarta was getting dark, I accelerated my pace. But on the block near Rani's house, this move stopped when Juan and I faced each other. For a moment we were silent to each other. Time seems to stop. There was a strange feeling in the heart, the stomach also gave a strange signal that I did not understand. I felt very comfortable even though I was uncomfortable before.

No words have come out yet, to pass soon it also feels not wanted. It's been too long since I've seen his face.

"Yu," he spoke.

"Achieve you here?" I raised my voice.

"I just ...."

"You want to stalk me, don't you? Why don't you just let me live quietly here? You forbid Bagas, but you yourself broke your promise. Exorbitant! Can't hold his words!"

"Sorry Yu, I ...."

"I what? Want to make my life not calm by continuing to roam here. Anyway I don't want to know, this is the last time I see you. After this if you still show up then I will go to a place you will never know!" I threatened.

"Don't Yu. Yeah, I promise I'll try not to show up in front of you."

Juan left me, and that comfort disappeared. Like something was pulled in mom's chest. Stuffy.

Ahhhh yourself, why are you? I hold back tears. Shortness in this chest it feels can not be dammed anymore. I want everything done quickly. I hate Juan, but I don't know why at this time I feel comfortable when he's near me. I should how? Does all this have anything to do with the presence of a baby in my stomach? He, however, was Juan's flesh and blood, certainly had an attachment to Juan. Even though I hate her so much that it ruined my life.

***

My footsteps stopped again at the door of Rani's house, when I saw the sight that was very upsetting. There are many bags of food there, Cici is mengurubuti food. Choose what he likes. While not far from there, there was Rani's smiling sister who saw a red sheet being removed from the white envelope. I don't know how much money it is, which is obviously quite a lot because seeing it makes Mr. Rani smile with satisfaction.

"Hemm," I cleared my throat, leaving the mother and child shocked. Looking at me, they instantly changed. Rani immediately tidied up the money, while Cici closed back the grocery bag and stayed away.

"Who from, brother?* ask.

"Eh Yu, are you home yet? Tumben you came home late? I thought you were late and went home later." replied Rani, stammering.

"Where are you from, brother? Shopping and money a lot." I immediately approached, saw a shopping bag and was quite surprised because the contents are milk for pregnant women, also a snack that is usually recommended for women who are two-bodied. "What's this?" my guess means right. It must be from Juan. He gave me food. Then the money, must be from him too. But what does that mean? Why did he give Rani that much money? What in return for holding me and being a spy. I'm really upset. "So, why not answer? Who is this from?" I who usually don't talk much is now turning critical. I need to know the answer!