Should We Get Married?

Both

I'm still wondering if I should go out now or stay in the room. There was no decision I made despite changing clothes. Refusing to ask for fear Bagas even more angry, but leaving it still feels afraid to meet. What if his anger has not gone away? This was the first time he got angry, so I didn't understand how to respond to his anger.

Tok to tok. Again the knock on the door made my heart beat faster. I was nervous again, although it turned out that the knocking was Bi Supi, he delivered a message Bagas mas who was waiting in the car.

"Mas Bagas still looks angry, doesn't Bi?" i'm probing.

"Just the same, Ma'am, quiet and cold." replied Bi Supi.

"Duhhh mas, why is it suddenly turned into cool anyway?" I grumbled in my heart. Although heavy, finally this leg stepped out of the house. There was no other choice but to face it. Arriving at the door of the car, do not forget to recap the prayers so that his heart mas Bagas in soft right.

As soon as he sat in the chair beside Bagas mas, he immediately started the engine, drove slowly to leave the yard without a word.

"Ki .. Where are we going?" I asked, trying to melt the atmosphere while finding out whether he was still angry or not.

There's no answer. The car drove in silence.

"Mass? Still mad? If you're angry, just be angry, don't stay quiet like this." I protest.

He did not answer, just glanced. Then refocus on the steering.

Fuff. Why is it so hard to understand. I can only grumble in my heart until I finally come out too uneg-uneg in my heart.

"If you're not ready to accept me for who I am, you shouldn't offer marriage. I am no longer the same as I used to be. I am now dirty. But none of that is my wish. Let alone storing memories of the incident, remembering for a moment has made a deep wound. I even lived a quiet life. Every night a nightmare, always embarrassed to meet someone else.

It is not too late to end it all. I know it's not easy for you. So just give me back to Dad. I will not be angry, nor will my family be disappointed because we can understand it. I'm not responsible for all of this!" I had to speak loudly, until my chest felt tight. The tears finally came out. I cried so much to shed all the burdens on my heart.

All this time I tried to hold it and keep it to myself. As a victim, I suffered the most. I've lost everything. My life seemed ruined, not to mention the effects I had to endure from that incident. I must have the man's blood son. I'm totally ruined. Every second I passed was like a terrible torment but I could not avoid it. As Tika said, this is the destiny that God has set for me. Then, can't he empathize with me, at least don't accuse me like that as if I like all those criminals.

Ciiits. Car stopped. I'm still crying. Bagas asked me to stop crying.

"Later you'll know everything. Now shut up." he's back in the car. We split the city of Jakarta in silence.

He is starting to feel sorry for making a tough decision. He chose something that was not easy. I honestly can understand. Although sad, but I'd be willing if he canceled this marriage. He hasn't touched me at all.

***

"Come down!" he opened the door for me.

"I have to get down too?" My toot.

Bagas did not answer, he went first. I was forced to follow from behind until we entered the office. At the front desk were two people sitting. Mas Bagas greeted a glance and then went inside.

There were seven people sitting at a long, circular table. It seems they are discussing. There was nothing strange until I realized there was a pair of eyes staring at me as I entered. He, yes, there he is there. I was immediately nervous.

Actually I already knew that the man who had ruined my future was attending the same faculty as Bagas. It's just that I never imagined I'd see him again and worse still Bagas brought us together. I don't know what that means?

"Hello everyone. I'm sorry that I just showed up after almost two months of disappearing." Bagas glanced at Juan. "There was a sudden affair, rather I got married. That's why they don't show up on campus. But from now on I will return to complete my tasks."

"Welcome back to Gas. But I'm sorry, I had to say that you were expelled. Your position has been replaced by Dirga" Juan said.

"What's? Fiuffff, this is a joke, right?" Mas Bagas looked annoyed.

"No, it's real." now it's Linda's turn to talk. "Wrong to yourself, disappeared without news. You should be professional. Who cares about your marriage. What is clear is that you have been issued by the head of your own institution. There's no place for unprofessional people!"

"Hehhh, I know whose job this is." Bagas stared cynically at Juan. "Well, if I get kicked out it's okay. I accept it with a chest. It's my fault." Bagas chuckled.

"Gas, next time it's professional. Not everyone gets a good chance and it's not always there. We're glad you're back, fix everything. It's not too late. Before the exam, you should ask for leniency from the lecturer so that you do not need to repeat." Add to Linda.

"Hehehehe, I know what I have to do." Bagas still chuckled. "Yes, I went home first. Come on, baby." Mas Bagas pulled my hand, not forgetting he waved at the seven friends.

We were holding hands until we entered the car. He drove a few miles, then stopped.

Brucks. Bagas struck the steering wheel a few times until he drowned his face between the hands on the steering wheel.

We both kept quiet. Only the sound of the roar of the breath of Bagas. He must be very upset. I don't know what to do but to be quiet while holding my stomach which suddenly feels uncomfortable.

Please not now! I sat there, holding back from vomiting, but unfortunately my stomach got so bad that I decided to get out.

After I finished spitting it all out, now my stomach feels comfortable. I can only grumble, why now. When conditions are not good. Now I have to get back in the car and somehow reaction Bagas.