PREDESTINATION

escape

Bang Ridho revealed his heart to me. I honestly say I'm comfortable talking to him. But the comfort is just a friend. No more this love is just for someone who's on the other side. Isn't that love impossible to force?

***

"Yus, to Bengkalis take a walk. Just looking for the wind" said I invite Yus to vacation through a short message.

"Can, can. I have not been traveling to Bengkalis for a long time" Yus replied.

"All I want to go to Ita's buk house to pick up the ordered goods"

"OK I agree, when do we go?"

"Because it is still morning, it is also only seven in the morning. We go now" I told Yus.

Well, I also want to meet Dodi. I haven't seen her in a long time. To be honest, this heart misses her.

"Okay if so, I'll get ready first huh" Reply yus.

"OK on I'll pick you up"

***

"We go to Ita's mother's house first yes, after that we go to the MM store to buy a cake I want to give it to hehehe's mother-in-law" I said when we reached Bengkalis.

"Well, mother-in-law? Are you guys already together?"

"Not yet, but if the soul mate does not go where" I told Yus.

"Yes, I hope you are a match. Aamiin's"

"Aamiin"

At exactly twelve o'clock in the afternoon I arrived at Dodi's house with Yus.

"Assalamualaikum" I said a greeting in front of the door of Dodi's house.

"Waalaikumsalam" answered Dodi opening the door.

I saw Dodi in his dirty clothes that he was wearing. Well today he's with his dad on building work. The red clothes are full of dirt and short jens that he wears. I really feel sorry for my future husband (hopefully).

Before I told her I would come to her house. Because he is working today, because that's me and Yus decided to go for a walk first until he came home for a break.

I looked at him with a smile. Wanting her taste I helped find her a job because I couldn't bear to see her work as hard as that. I don't know what's on my mind right now either.

"Here I bring you cake" I gave you the cake I bought earlier at the MM store.

"Eat already?" Ask him to me.

"Well, we ate outside" I replied.

"Oh kirain not yet. Want to eat together" he said again.

"Thank you for being so full"

"I'll take this cake to the back first" he said again passed from before me and Yus.

"Yus, help me yes" Pinta ku when Dodi is no longer seen.

"Help what?"

"Find a job for Dodi in Pakning. I can't bear to see him work that hard" I said again.

"Okay, we'll look for each other"

"Thank you Yus"

"But why in Pakning?"

"Continue where? There's no way I'm looking for a job here, I don't know the area. We're staying at Pakning. We've had a lot of time in Pakning"

"Yes, yes too. It could be you and him kept close"

"That's the reason" I said again.

"What the hell is that?" Tanya Dodi suddenly appeared.

"Nothing, just a woman's business" I replied.

"Oh that. Sorry love can't accompany you for a walk today"

"Oh that's okay, besides you're at work there's no way I'm going to impose it to accompany me"

Dodi smiled at my words. We looked at each other for a long time. There are subtle vibrations in this heart. I really miss this guy's girlfriend. But this longing I cannot express because of our relationship without status.

"Ouch, now I'm becoming his mosquito repellent" Sindir Yus made our gazes cut off.

"Yes I borrowed your bike Mah, I want to go to the shop for a while. Where's Dodi's shop?" Ask Yus to Dodi.

"Just follow this path. The stall is on the left" Clearly Dodi pointed at the road beside his house.

"What do you want to buy Yus?" Ask me.

"Dizzy medicine, my head feels bad" Yus immediately left us both.

Me and Dodi fell silent. We can't say any words. I don't know if we were awkward at the time.

"Sorry yes love my dirty clothes, his name is also building work. We dug up the ground to make the foundation. And soon we'll be back to work. Nanggung will also want to shower because it will be dirty again" he explained.

"It's okay. What matters is your halal work"

Silence again.

"Oh yes there is something I want to ask you" After a long silence.

"What?" Ask Dodi.

"What exactly are your feelings for me like? I'm confused about our relationship. Sometimes, we are like dating but until now you have never expressed your feelings to me. I'm confused about this relationship" I said again looking into Dodi's eyeballs asking for certainty. Well, I'm a woman, after all. And I need reassurance for our relationship. I don't want this relationship to continue without status.

Dodi was silent at my question. He seemed to think.

"I'm sorry I love. I love you the same. It's not my intention to play with your feelings. But I don't want to hurt you. You know me and Fida are still in a relationship. I don't want to hurt your heart. I'm not a good man either" he told me.

Degs...

I flinched hearing what Dodi said. So all this time, this was the reason why he wouldn't express his feelings to me. Because he doesn't want me to get hurt.

"I know you've been hurt a lot because of your old lover. I know how you feel. I know you feel the same way about me. But I'm afraid I can't make you happy. I'm afraid you'll get hurt with me. So I think it's better for us to be like this than to have status but hurt each other" he explained.

Degs...

Again, I gasped at Dodi's explanation. I don't know why his confession touched me.

"I'm sorry I love. If we are friends, we will be together. For now just enjoy our relationship like this"

I could only be silent at Dodi's words. Whether I'm a woman who's too cute or what it is I don't know. I can just accept it to enjoy this status relationship.

I nodded with a smile. While waiting for Yus to come home from the stall, I went to the back to meet his mother Dodi money was folding clothes.

"Just arrived son?" Ask him to me.

"Not really buk, from this morning. The streets just stopped by here"

"Oh that, this is Dodi's work. Follow her father as a handyman. It's hard to find a job. Oh yes if there is a job vacancy, tell Dodi yes" Pinta her mother Dodi.

"Well, there's hope that I ask Dodi to work at Pakning because her mother also asked me to look for a job" My inner self.

***

Back I opened my facebook application to just find entertainment there. Well because I'm already working, so you can buy an Android phone that has a BBM app. Not a new phone either, just a used phone that I bought at a cheap price. What matters is BBMan.

"As far as there is no bond, but taking care of each other's hearts is better than there is a bond but can not keep the commitment.

#DI_RA" My status on facebook and in BBM. and #Dira that means Friendly Dodi. Which means that status is for me to give to Dodi.

Cring...

My phone rang a sign of someone calling.

"Hallo" I said to answer the call.

"Hallo deck, what else? Busy?" Ask me again which is none other than bang Ridho.

"Watch tv for this bang. Not busy" I replied.

"Eat already?"

"Not bang. Not hungry yet"

"Don't eat late, you'll be sick to the deck" he said with attention.

"Yes bang thank you for your attention. I will also eat if I am hungry" I said again.

"Dek, brother would like to invite adek taaruf. What do you want?"

Degs...

Again the feeling was said by bang Ridho which made me confused what answer to him.

"Sorry bang, for now I have not been able to realize my brother's request. I'm not ready yet"

"Yes my brother will wait until he is ready. Brother will collect money to ask for adek. Twenty million is enough?" The question again sounds serious.

"Oh, that problem I don't know. It depends on the decision of our parents. I don't require you to give money as a result of so much. I only ask for the ability of the male side" I said.

"For what reason do I ask for many things, while I am only a girl who is not holy anymore" My inner self.

"Okay brother will collect that much money, brother's salary of five million in the oil palm plantation. Later after we get married brother will give all the salary money brother to adek kololah" he said again.

I smiled hearing the delusion from bang Ridho. I have not said inevitably to live taaruf with her. But she had fantasized so far that we were married.

"Aamiinin aja bang. If we are a match, we will be together" I said again.

"Yes, I ate first. I'm hungry" I said, closing my phone.

I surfed back on my social media. How shocked I saw Dodi's post on her BBM. She put up a photo with her boyfriend Fida.

Degs...

It hurts, well it hurts so much to see that photo. Just this afternoon she said she didn't want to hurt me, but now she's the one who hurt me because of her postings.

I replied to her BBM story.

"Not romantic" I said.

"What does love mean?" Reply Dodi.

"Your BBM story is. Thank you for the injury" I said again.

"I don't really know any love"

"So who did the story? It's impossible for someone else to make it"

"Truly love. When I was at home, I didn't know who made the story. It could be Fida. About her this afternoon she was at home at the time. I worked with my father"

"Oh, that's bullshit"

"Truly love, there's no way I'm hurting your heart. I don't want to hurt you love"

"You have hurt me by giving me hope"

"Truly love I don't know anything. I swear to you"

"Don't take oaths. Later you eat the oath and know the taste. And don't be clever you lick your tongue, later your tongue bitten by itself broke new to know" said me again with annoyance in my heart.

"Love, please don't trust me"

"Udah ah, tired of it is up to you to say what your lover is" I said.

"Don't love it" Dodi replied to my message via BBM.

I just read the message from Dodi without replying to her because my heart was already quite disappointed to see her like that. Although I don't know if that's the reason or not. I'm far away here and he's there obviously I don't know if he's being honest with me or vice versa because we're far in the eye.

Having his message not answered by me and only reading it, he decided to call me by phone.

"What else?" I asked in annoyance to pick up my phone.

"Love, don't be mad at me like that. I really don't know love.it's a story I've deleted" he told me.

"I'm not angry, anyways I have no right to be angry with you. We don't have any relationship. It's just that I'm disappointed in you" I said.

"Yes, it's love. Sorry for the love" he said again.

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry to disappoint you"

"Have forgotten it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. This is the destiny of a person's hopeer of love" I said in a sad tone.

"Don't say so love. We love each other, there's no way I'm gonna let you down"

"That's Dodi, I don't know what kind of heart people are. Hair can be just as black but the contents of our hearts do not know" I said again.

"Yes, I want to go to bed first, tired of feeling like he's facing this life" I said looking for a reason to end our call.

"Yes already, good night love. Bring me to every beautiful dream"

"Yes" I answered briefly immediately disconnected our phone.