PREDESTINATION

evades

Rio's taking me home until I get to the harbor. Not really mangantar. I happened to meet her on the way home and she was going to go pick up her boyfriend. Rio also said that the one who reprimanded us on the street earlier was Fida's boyfriend Dodi.

"Where is it?" Tanya Dodi sent me a short message.

"Just got into the fairy ship" I replied.

"Oh yeah, why don't you stop by the house? Even though my mother cooked more and invited you to eat together earlier" said Dodi again.

Degs...

My heart felt bad hearing Dodi's words just now. It's nothing at all, I feel bad for her mother Dodi right her would-be-in-law me that hehehe. Where I was tired of cooking, but I went home. Like not appreciating yourself.

"I'm sorry I don't know. Later in the day was also hit this way, fearing that I arrived at Pakning too late. You know I'm alone" Reply to my message.

"It's okay, I told you that my mom was like that. He also understood" He replied again.

"Oh yes, just on the way home I met with Rio. Keep talking to Rio again, suddenly there are two girls speeding up and ambushing us. Dio said it was Fida. When I drove you home, was he at your house?" Ask me.

"Yes he's in my house, he sees us. He's standing next to the house looking at us"

I didn't realize anyone was watching us. Next to Dodi's house is also dark. It doesn't look like anyone or not.

"So you know Fida?" Ask her.

"Yet. I don't see it so clearly. He just drove away and day and night. So it's not clear her face" I replied.

I also don't know why I'm going to talk to Dodi about her boyfriend. That would make me even more hurt. But whatever the power, our relationship has no status. So let's just say if we talk about Dodi and Fida's relationship as confiding friends.

"I'm sorry" I said in the end.

"Sorry for what?"

"Yes earlier might have made you two fight because of me. To be honest other than you, I do not know who to ask for help if it is in Bengkalis" said I. It's not that I don't have any other friends in Bengkalis. But their home is at a distance all. Like Hambali who lives in the white Ketam which takes almost an hour to get there. Mizan who lives in the old Bantan is also his home away. Sabrina and Auri who live in the Penampi area also took almost half an hour to get there. Similarly, Siti Fateha, Nilam, Ashwat and Jasmitaria who live in the area of Jangkang which takes half an hour to get there. So only Dodi and Sumira lived in the natural River area not far from the port of crossing. Obviously I asked Dodi for help. Because if Sumira is the same, there must be many reasons for her to refuse.

"No, relax" she replied briefly.

I breathe my heavy breath. This is the fate of a man who works for the love of people's lovers. Well this love is clapping one hand. To be hurt for the happiness of those we love. Heard the vent from his heart even though our hearts were wounded.

I opened social media in the form of Facebook to eliminate the need for the trip home.

Ting...

My inbox notification reads. There's a message from someone. I frowned when I saw the message.

"Hy deck" What's with me in my facebook inbox.

"Hy too" I replied.

"Where the hell is it?"

"Pakning bang"

"Sama, brother too. Where's her pakning?"

"Very bang"

"If brother in jln Nusantara. Oh, what else is it?"

"Just sit around this bang"

"Are you still in school, college or work?"

"Work bang" answered me.

"Oh... Where's?"

"Work watch the cell phone just bang" I lied.

"From now on we talked at length but didn't know what his name was. Whose name is he?"

"As per facebook bang, Friendly"

"Name of Ridho's brother. Can I have her cell phone number?"

"For what?"

"Yes for sms or phone. Well just an acquaintance to be closer" he replied.

I thought twice about giving my phone number to Bang Ridho, the person I just met through social media.

After thinking for a long time, I decided to give my mobile number to Bang Ridho. Well what's wrong if I try to get close to bang Ridho. To date, my relationship with Dodi is unclear. I always close my heart to meet other men to keep his feelings and hope that someday he will express his feelings to me. But I've been waiting for months for that expression of feeling. Until this moment he never expressed his feelings and the status of our relationship is still unclear.

I also typed my phone number to give to bang Ridho.

"Thank you sweet" he said again.

I also quit the Facebook app.

Ting...

My phone rang a short message sign coming in.

"Hy deck. It's bang Ridho who chats adek in the inbox" Her message.

"Save yes brother's number"

"Okay bang" I answered briefly.

"Love, have you arrived home?" A message from Dodi came back in.

"Not yet, soon the ship will dock" I reply.

"When you get home, tell me love. I'm honestly worried about you coming home alone" she said.

"Oh dodi, what the hell is this feeling in your heart? I managed to make me baper with your attitude that is like loving me. But sometimes you also make me disappointed because you have faced your love which now belongs to someone else" My inner being.

"Yes, I'll let you know when I get home" I replied again.

***

"Why are you brother?" Fida's message to her boyfriend Dodi suddenly came into my phone.

I sorted my forehead looking at the message.

"Well, this is also the kid texting me this early in the morning?" My inner.

"You go to work" I said.

"Ask what?"

"Where were you last night?"

"We just went to find my mother's medicine. After that we went home" I answered honestly.

"What's wrong?" Ask me.

"Son, just ask"

"Oh" answered me again.

Actually this heart ached when Dodi's boyfriend sent me a message earlier. If in the heart, I do not want to reply to messages from my rival. However, I had to repay him because I didn't want him to think I was arrogant.

***

"Hallo" I said as my phone rang the sign.

"Assalamualaikum deck" Bang Ridho said his greetings as his phone connected with me.

Degs...

Shocked, I was surprised to hear the greeting from the Ridho bang. I just say hello to him as hello.

"Waalaikumsalam" I answered.

"Why deck? Have you prayed magrib?"

"What's? Just this time there was a man who reminded me of prayer"

"Have a bang" I answered honestly.

"Alhamdulillah, Adek has eaten"

"Not yet, not hungry"

Me and bang Ridho had a light conversation. Sometimes we also discuss about religion, incidentally he used to go to school in Aliyah Madrasah. I know a little about religion. He also often lectures and invites children to teach at the mosque which is not far from his home. Well can be said bang Ridho is a village in his village.

Because we share each other about religion, so make this heart feel comfortable talking with him. We also became close. And so we talk to each other. We also met when I wanted to buy satay at a shop after work. Well it just so happens that the satay stall belongs to his parents.

He is not a handsome man. But it's pretty sweet to see. His people are adults, his body is quite contained and well he works in the oil palm plantation which is in Dompas village.

***

"Sir, his real brother liked the same from the first meeting" An expression of feelings was revealed to me that night. Well we're close to a month.

I was obviously surprised by the expression of that taste. I just kept listening to that taste. I don't know what to answer.

"Dec, how are you quiet? Did you say wrong?" Ask her.

"Sorry I'm confused. Brother's a good man, I don't think I deserve you" I said.

Well of course I think so, bang Ridho is a village ustad. As for me, there's nothing worth dedicating to her anymore. I'm not a holy girl anymore. I'm still expecting someone named Dodi's girlfriend anyway.

"What's that deck anyway?"

"Yes I'm not a good girl bang. You better find a better girl than me. I'm just a human hina bang. There is nothing more to be proud of from me" I said again with tears in my eyes.

"What do you mean deck?"

"Do I have to tell all of this to Bang Ridho? I'm really comfortable talking to her. And he can always calm this restless heart" My inner self again.

I took a deep breath to tell her what really happened to me.

"I'm not a virgin anymore bang. My virgin has been forcibly robbed by irresponsible men" I said in tears as I reminisced about the painful event.

Hearing that bang Ridho fell silent. He was shocked to hear my confession.

"Couldn't you? How could? Who's the guy?"

"Bang Dodi's. Recognize?"

"Dodi's? Dodi whose house is near High School? Is he not married now?"

"Yes, before she married we were dating a bang. She forcibly snatched it from me" I told her everything that happened to me in detail to bang ridho and there was nothing I hid. He's the first man to know what's happening to me right now.

"That's what happened bang. Better find another girl. I don't deserve my brother" I said again.

"Abang can accept what adek there is. Whatever your situation, your brother can accept it. And that's your past brother can accept that" he said again trying to convince me.

"Sorry, for now we better be friends. I'm not ready to open my heart to anyone" I lied. Of course I can't open my heart. I was expecting someone to express their feelings to me.

I also don't know why I can't accept the Ridho bang who has known my past. And he accepted me for who I was.

Maybe because she's the one who can say the word is me, who am I a girl but a sense of widow. I really can't do that.

"Yes already, brother will not force you deck to accept brother. Brother will wait for you until you are ready" he said again.

"Thank you for understanding" I said.

"I'm sorry bang Ridho because I lied to you. To be honest I was expecting Dodi to be my lover. Because I love her and this love can't be forced" My inner self again.

"It's bang, I want to eat a little" I said trying to find a reason to disconnect our phone.

"Yes, Assalamualaikum"

"Waalaikumsalam" I hung up my phone.

I heaved a heavy sigh as I recalled the words bang Ridho just now.

"Is this my prayer that God has granted? Where I used to pray if bang Dodi did not match me, then send me a man who can accept me if there is. And bang Ridho has accepted me for what it is. He even invited me to ta'aruf. But why can't the heart accept it?" My mind is restless.

"When bang Ridho was a good man, Soleh, guru najai often lectured again. Why can't I open my heart to someone as good as that?" Add me again.

"Oh my God, what should I do? Help me, O God, give me your guidance.. In the heart of this still expect the Dodi that is across there. This heart loves her so much even though she already has a boyfriend. I even want to be second. I don't know why I'm like this either. There are still many men in this world. Butwhy? Why does this heart only wish for him" My mind again.

"Ha, daydream again. Eat it over there" My mother's bickering broke my daydream.

"Keep saha daydreaming her. The devil just found out" he said again.

"Yes, I want to eat. Hungry already" I answered immediately took the rice and side dishes for me to eat that night.

"Tumben he didn't answer my words? Usually there is just his babbling. This is just straight out. Is he having any more problems? Ah already lah.l, later he will also tell me if it is calm" said my mother went back to the room to rest.