Playboys

Bonus Chapter : Leave or Stay?

Being back in the hospital was never my choice, even if I wanted to. But I actually went back to the hospital. The last thing I remember was Evelyn meeting me, and then I passed out. The words are so clear I remember in my head, without even having to bother remembering.

I was in the phase of not being able to believe something just like that, my mind was very easily affected. And now the trust I have in Dimitri is starting to diminish. I don't know who told the truth and who lied.

There was a small voice of contention I heard before the door of my ward opened. My mother-in-law came in and immediately approached me in a panic. The umpteenth thing I hate the most is that when I see my mother-in-law worried like this, I look like I see my mother.

“You're not papa, baby?”

I nodded my head with a faint smile. “Lili no papa, Ma. This may be because Lili is exhausted.”

“You should not come to the store, you are still pregnant young, you should not be tired. You really don't papa?” ask Mama again.

I took Mama's hand and held her, at least I have very good in-laws and attention. There was no distance between son-in-law and father-in-law, I was treated very well even though I was not on par with the very rich Dimitri family. Compared to Michelle who was married

with Dimitri, our differences are pretty good. Luckily I had a pretty good job in the office.

“Mama why can know I'm here?”

“Mama was going to stop by your store, but the store owner in the building next to you said that you were in an ambulance after passing out. Your husband doesn't even know about this.”

I even realized that there was Dimitri behind Mama, she looked just as worried as Mama. But the memory of that girl has not completely disappeared from my head. I've imagined all sorts of possibilities in my own brain.

“Mama don't have to worry, Lili is fine, really. After getting out of the hospital, Lili will rest at home.” I gave my smile to Mama so that the worried look was immediately gone from her pretty face.

“Mama itself later which will be assured if you really rest at home.”

I nodded my head in excitement, making Mama smile again. “Mama can not be long, your father invited to a dinner with his client. Call Mama if something happens, huh?”

After kissing my forehead, Mama went to the exit to be accompanied by Dimitri. I leaned my back, feeling very tired inwardly. Slowly I felt my queen's stomach which is now starting to bulge. I didn't trust myself when I found out I was pregnant, I brought

another life in my body and a warm tone of feeling when I think about it.

It's dark, I think I've been in this hospital long enough. The door to my ward was reopened again, and this time it was Dimitri who appeared. He walked up to me and sat on the side of the bed.

“Doctor says there is a small bleeding in your uterus, thankfully not severe. What happened to you earlier?”

I refused to look at Dimitri, I was more comfortable looking at the window beside my bed although it was more dominant dark. I don't know, I haven't been able to look at Dimitri with the same gaze when I can still clearly remember the woman's words.

“You want to eat something?” ask Dimitri again.

“I'm fine, you take a break. Sister is also soon bringing dinner,” I said.

I heard Dimitri's breath. I don't want to guess, but if it's a tired breath, I'm very disappointed. “Mbak Tari said you passed out after you met someone, can I know who that person is?”

I wanted to loudly answer that it was Evelyn. A client who somehow has any relationship with Dimitri. I want to believe that they have absolutely no relationship and are just limited in professionalism, but somehow it is very difficult. I was completely swayed in the middle of both options.

“I want to sleep, you can wake me up if my dinner comes.”

Nothing has gone as I imagined since that woman appeared in our midst. I was really tired, and all I wanted was peace and a little sentence of consolation. My baby candidate is not too strong to face what is on my mind, but in the end he also has to bear the burden that I bear.

I lay on my back to Dimitri and stroked my stomach regularly, trying to calm my son down inside here. Being a strong and strong mother is one of my dreams, although many obstacles stand in my way, I want to be that strong. But, deep down, I was completely incapable of dealing with this. If I could be happier to end this, I would.

**

“You why, anyway, it's so easy to get in and out of the hospital like gini? I just can't come to the hospital for more than two hours,” Nabila's tirade.

I was only able to laugh at the first sentence Nabila said when he first entered my ward. If you have visited Nabila like this, I will definitely get a lot of scolding, as well as sentences full of advice from a Nabila. Sometimes I kind of regret the fact that he has this kind of nature, but it's lucky that he's my best friend.

“Back there, I also don't need you here,” reply me with sewot.

Nabila actually showed her sweet smile and started arranging her food at the table that I used to eat food. “You must eat a lot, Li, your son's father must go to the hospital.”

“Reno know not, anyway, the same nature of you who like this? How is he still at home with you?”

“Cute, Li. If he's not at home with me, there's no way we've got two tails.”

I used to think, it doesn't matter if I don't marry a man, I will endure all the scathing talk from Nabila along with all the words of her advice. Right now, I feel very happy with his presence after passing through many obstacles.

“You why use a crying event?”

I didn't even notice with tears suddenly flowing, I just missed a few happy memories. Not that I regretted my marriage to Dimitri, it's just that, like too many problems come and go. It was like I was on the edge of a tall building, then someone was trying to pull me to safety, but there was also someone else trying to keep me down.

“Dimitry hurts you?”

“I sometimes think for divorce, it feels really hard to trust full Dimitri,” said after my crying slightly subsided.

Nabila moved to the edge of the bed to hug me. “What's that heavy?”

I hugged Nabila tightly, only Nabila was really on my side and was always there for me. That's why I really thought hard before accepting Dimitri's proposal. I'm really scared that it's going to end this way, and my confidence in trusting men is not that much either.

“How much does Dimitri hurt you until you think like gini?” ask Nabila softly.

I let go of our embrace and looked at Nabila. “I tried to start believing in Dimitri again, but the woman suddenly came and told me about their special relationship,”.

Nabila listened seriously as I told her everything that had happened to me, with nothing left behind. After this, I will feel relieved. My burden has been lifted a little by telling Nabila, as well as my cries. I didn't dare tell my parents this, let alone Dimitri's parents.

I don't know what they'll think if I tell them all this, while I need someone who can give me advice and also calm me down.

“Focus with your pregnancy now, Li, this is more important than anything. You know, you're in a very vulnerable early trimester, this is even the second time you've been in the hospital. I know Dimitri's been bothering you, too, but you better not be fixated on that. I will definitely help you as much as I can.”

Nabila clasped my hands together, trying to channel her power to me. “I don't want to defend Dimitri, but the woman herself is also outrageous. He could have accidentally found you and made up all these stories. You still have to talk to Dimitri for this problem, communication is paramount.”

I just nodded my head at Nabila's words, I knew she was more mature than me and always gave me more advice. Although sometimes I like to piss me off, like the twists of a friendship relationship. After all this time, I am so grateful that my relationship has been able to last this long.

**

I again had to stay in the hospital for four days, at least this was faster than the previous one. This time Dimitri accompanied and also picked me up at the hospital. He really didn't leave my side in the hospital, he just went to work, the rest he accompanied me in the hospital, even though we were silent to each other.

The guilt was enough to haunt me, Dimitri had no idea what was really going on. I went back to being childish because of this. While driving home, we did not speak at all. Awkward, but I feel better. I'm used to running away from problems, so I feel more comfortable if this problem is not revealed.

“The person who met me that time was Evelyn.”

We just got to the main room. On the whole trip, I decided to talk. Whatever the outcome, communication is the most important thing. If I were to finally split up, at least I would have talked to her about this. All I need is the honesty of all their weird relationships.

I never had a problem if that woman was Evelyn, as long as all the work was done professionally without any frills of personal feeling. I'm not the possessive type of wife either, if it's best for my husband's corporate career, why should I forbid it?

Dimitri didn't say anything, he just looked at me flatly, without the slightest expression. “She said about your relationship..”

I couldn't continue my sentence, it felt like my tongue was too dumb to continue the exact same sentence that Evelyn said yesterday. “I really can't see you as I should when I remember all Evelyn said yesterday. I don't even know what really happened between you.”

“We're just coworkers, Li. No more than that.”

“What if that woman interprets your relationship in another way? I don't care if he's your client, but why should I believe it. She's always been around us, and she never squealed at me as your wife. You're not aware of all that?” my many. I'm still trying to dampen my emotions so as not to overflow. I gotta

remember to put my baby ahead of anything.

“You should rest, Li,” Dimitri said flatly.

Look how changed Dimitri's attitude has become. Yesterday he became everyone's dream husband during our vacation, but in just a short time he instantly changed. I don't know what part is wrong here. Am I not good enough here?

“You said your heart can't change that easily, you said I'm the most precious, the one you love the most, and you're not that easy to take me off. But why are you changing so quickly now? I won't believe it if you want to talk, I need your explanation, and I don't want this to drag on,” I said desperately.

I want to go through my pregnancy calmly, I want my baby to be healthy at birth, and there are no obstacles when my pregnancy is getting bigger. Just little things like that, can't I get them either?

“We talk again after you have completely recovered, baby. You can't think and feel much like gini,” said Dimitri.

Don't you know Dimitri, that I'm like this because of him too?

“Nothing is different if you delay your explanation,”

“I really don't have any relationship with Evelyn, she's really just my client, nothing more than that.” Dimitri said. He looked straight into my eyes. Maybe because I haven't forgotten Evelyn's words, I can't even recognize my own husband's gaze.

The human heart is easy to change, right? Likewise with feelings. It seems that even our long-standing friendship could not have made Dimitri really love me until later.

“I slept in guest room.” I immediately got out of my seat and went straight out to the first floor of our house.

I can't think clearly if I'm in the same place as him. There's more to it than all my anxiety, I don't want to hold this feeling any further. Just being a burden on the mind, I can be stressed, then it will harm my baby-to-be. All Nabila's words are so true, I have to focus on my pregnancy.

Even if Dimitri told a lie, I could easily figure it out. And just now, Dimitri didn't say a lie, just that there was something he seemed to be hiding. Without telling me more, I don't want to hear anything that's hidden. I'm afraid I'm going to fall deeper and deeper, while there's still other lives to guard.

The burden of my mind is really a lot and it fills all my brain cells, I just need to control it. There are still many reasons to keep our household, but there is also one reason that might make me get away from Dimitri easily. Life is a choice, right?

I just need to choose what I think is best for me, and my baby. There's nothing else I can think of.

**