Playboys
Confused
My days are going on as usual, nothing too special. Still working and
attending meetings. As Dimitri promised, Kevin took
christian Bagaskara project. I accept it, I have nothing to lose either,
I'm even very happy. I'm not gonna deal with that flirtatious widower
any more.
My relationship with Dimitri is better. After our hot romance at the hotel, we
never did it again after. I don't need to go into the details of romance
us, right? It will feel very long and hot.
But that's it, even though my relationship with Dimitri improved, Michelle still became
the issue that is in our midst. Oh, and Dimitri hasn't said anything
about our relationship. I was in confusion between my best friend and
girlfriend, for the size of the woman it is very crucial, I also feel the same
same. Every woman needs certainty.
His confession that night is still a mystery to me. Either I have to believe it or
no, he's just Dimitri who's still full of mystery. I still hold on to
my stance is not to reveal anything to Dimitri, ‘what am I
love him or actually we are what’, I never said it.
Nothing's gonna change if I say it, right? That's why I survived
like these. I still keep my confusion alone.
Michelle, I still see him visiting Dimitri's office a lot. The heartache has already
for sure, I will only survive as I can to protect my heart.
Tonight I got an invitation from Dimitri's parents to come to dinner
their families. I've been attending their dinner a lot, because
I said close to them. They already think of me as a child
they, and their families were also close to my Mother and Father.
Dimitri and Kevin have nothing to say about dinner tonight, neither have I
tell them I was invited to their show. Consider it a surprise
for both of them.
I've been standing in front of Dimitri's parents' yard, ready to go into
inward. There are a few cars in the front yard of this house, what might eat mala
mini's gonna be crowded, not what I expected? I thought Om Rudi said this
it was a family dinner, and as far as I know the Om Rudi family is just a parent
Kevin's.
With cloth pants and blazers and plain t-shirts as the inside, I walked into this mansion. I deliberately wore this suit, I thought the dress was too much, dressed casually
like this is so much fun.
Aunt Ina—Mother of Dimitri—welcomed me at the door when I went inside, she was beautiful
and graceful as always. “It looks like there are many guests present, Aunt.”
“This is for Dimitri's engagement, but it's still a secret. Come in.”
Perhaps the phrase like being struck by lightning was very exaggerated to express a sense of
I'm surprised, but I don't know what to say when I hear Aunt Ina
talk about Dimitri's engagement. It's even a week after
our hot romance and also her confession, then I heard this news.
Dimitri and Kevin have nothing to say about dinner.
“Attribution, Aunt?”
“Yes, finally the brat got engaged. Aunty can finally calm down a little, at least someone will take care of her later.”
Aunt Ina held me in, I tried my hardest to improve the look
my face is no longer this. The engagement? Who would guess like
that it?
The long dining table was filled with people. There was one man who
I was surprised because he was here. Richard. “Everything, special guest
we've come.”
Those who sat on their backs to the dining room turned their faces. The old men
looking at me with a smile, Kevin and Dimitri looked at me with
surprised, so did Richard, and one girl who gave me a big smile.
Michelle.
“This is a special guest for Kevin and Dimitri, they've been friends for a very long time, and
I have considered it like my own daughter,” said Aunt Ina again with
wide smiles. I'm sure Aunt Ina doesn't know about the problem
we face it, but who can blame it all? I don't know either
anything at all.
I gave a thin smile to all of them, smiling forcefully to be more exact. What
dimitri's fiancee is Michelle? Then how about
Kevin's? I really want to escape it. Hearing the engagement news
Dimitri alone it was painful, then the pain was added with
you need to know who Dimitri's fiance is. Just kill me then.
**
After the family dinner under the guise of engagement was over, the next day I
go straight to Nabila. I can't bear all this pain alone.
Believe me, dinner yesterday was a slow suicide
to me.
Starting from the cancellation of the engagement of Kevin and Michelle who agreed on both parties and
the two families, then the engagement of Dimitri and Michelle for a family relationship
what you want to create is not broken. What kind of reason is that? What should be in
finish with engagement? Neither Dimitri nor Michelle refused
that decision.
Michelle was so happy of course, I saw her smile so wide. Dimitri is still
as usual, he didn't show his smile or express himself a little
her feelings. Kevin looked at me with his guilty look.
It won't change anything either, the engagement goes on. Michelle and
Dimitri is officially engaged and Liliana's clapping love ends
just like that. Depressing.
“I did ask you to be honest with your feelings, but why not say it
to your best friend. He won't know if you're silent.”
That's the voice of Nabila who has been fiery since. He did not think that the plan
to bring me closer to Richard would be like this, and his request to
expressing my feelings would end up like this.
“Then what will happen after? Let's say we're dating, then if we
break up, our friendship will end.”
Actually Nabila has not accepted me to visit him, because he will come out together
with Reno. It's Sunday, and before Sunday ends, they will
spend time together. Dinner or just going around the mall, things
like those. He was the only one of my best friends who was lucky
love and will soon be married.
I'm so jealous, but I can't do anything. My love always fails and
I've been cursed. “That's better than you barking pathetic like
these. Besides why your mind is so far away, you haven't even dated
but I imagined a break up. How long will you be like that? Go tell Dimitri, Li, if you love
same him.”
“I can already imagine, Bill. I don't want our relationship to get broken
forward.” I leaned my head against the recliner that was in the
nabila Room.
“Where did the always optimistic Liliana go? You can get a big project
easily, and just a trivial matter like this you have given up. What are you
currently on rasuki?”
I'm used to all the harsh language Nabila speaks, sometimes I
thats right. What else can I do besides accept everything he says. I need
someone seemed to normalize my life that was suddenly crazy because
this problem.
“She's been dead a long time, ever since you've been trading your bullshit about
feeling disclosure. Don't look for him anymore,” I said sarcasm. Yeah, I've been a long time
transformed into someone else, I was very curious as to which woman possessed me
until like this.
“I'd really like to visit his grave. May he be calm there.” Marginalised
put both hands together on the chest.
I didn't listen, I chose to close my eyes. “Bil, no
call anyone to pick me up. I'm not drunk, you can
leaving me alone, don't mind me,” I said when he was tidy and
scented. Ready to meet his heart.
Nabila sighed, then walked over to me. “Sorry can not accompany, if
not because of Reno's parents, I will definitely accompany you here.” Marginalised
hugging me, stroking my back to calm me down. “Create our schedule in days
else, I will accompany you all day.”
I just nodded without being able to answer. His embrace makes me miss Mom. I
always very curious, what a broken heart would always be pitiful like this.
I haven't even started yet, but it's over.
Nabila immediately left after believing I had calmed down. Now I'm all I have left
alone in this room, this silence was deeply felt. If this is how it is
I can trust all the confessions Dimitri makes.
What's the point if you don't fuck the women? He has Michelle if
lonely, and now they're engaged. He doesn't need me to
believe me, he will say anything to get everything he wants.
I'm deliberately not drunk at this time, I should just get drunk and forget all about it
my problem. I threw away that option and let me remember today, when my best friend
it made my heart completely broken without giving up responsibility. So that I
keep remembering how broken I was by it, so I can stop
loving her.
The biggest problem is that I still love him. I don't know when this feeling will be
die. My tears just flowed with no shame, and I couldn't
do nothing but spill it. The mute wall in this room will be
testified.
**
After crying in Nabila's apartment, I decided to leave. I don't want to
back home, but I don't have a purpose either. That man was able to find me
wherever I am, but I'm not sure he'll be looking for me either. Stop hoping he'll think of me! Snatch me
to my little heart.
I'm driving around Jakarta tonight, I'll drive until I run out
fuel and have no choice but to go home. Or I'm better
end up on the streets, wherever I don't care. I'll go around while
think of everything, and find a solution.
Avoiding Dimitri tomorrow when I'm working isn't a good choice, he's my boss and I have to
professional person. Facing him is also very heavy for me. All of these choices
I'm thinking very badly, for me of course because I don't know what's in
think Dimitri. It is very easy to manage his facial expression.
Can I suppress my personal feelings deep inside, so that no one knows
and I can move on with my life? My best friend never said anything
anything that leads to something related to a lover. I gotta
remember that he only likes my body, only my body, not my heart.
Thank goodness Michelle was able to easily possess the man's body and heart. Though I
ever said it would make Dimitri fall in love with me and ignore Michelle
which is only the past. It all disappeared in an instant when I got the news
their engagement..
The time has shown ten o'clock at night, only one hour I went around Jakarta.
Maybe if I could, I'd drive up to my mom's house. I decided
to go home because there's nothing else I can do. Driving without direction as well
very tiring, especially added to the burden of the mind.
I don't know how many times I've breathed tonight. Tomorrow's monday and I have to
works. For the past hour I have been determining my attitude to face
Dimitri and Michelle are probably going to visit the office more often.
Does that girl have no job? Because his parents are rich he is more
choose to be unemployed. That's the woman Dimitri was looking for.
I wanted to park in the basement so that no one would greet me, but I ended up entering through the lobby. My feeling is as dark as night, I don't want to add to it by walking in
the dimness and the solids of the basement.
It seems that now I will regret my decision to go through the lobby. Why would I
always having this sickening incident again in the lobby? Is the lobby so valuable to me? I hate the lobby from today.
Dimitris.
For the umpteenth time.
“Goodnight Bu Liliana.”
Cursed was the receptionist who greeted me loudly. A few people who are in
the lobby turned its face to me, including Dimitri. Though I could have
get away from this guy if he doesn't see me. Now I have to face it.
My nightmare.
I curled my lips slightly, I wore black glasses to cover up
I was swollen in my eyes from crying. Dimitri stood up from his seat, but he didn't
approached me. He was like a stranger looking at me, his face was also flat.
Fortunately I still maintain this smile.
“Honey!”
I let my eyes hear the shrill. Michelle. What else is this? Dimitri's here for Michelle? And what is Michelle doing here?
“Oh! Brother Lili?” ask me who is not far from Dimitri's standing position.
“Ah sorry, my eyes are irritated so I can't open my glasses.” I give
my guilty smile, in fact I really want to curse this girl with
all kinds of animals in the zoo.
Michelle nodded with a completely faded smile on her face. Sure
only, because he has got the man he loves. Dimitri at all
didn't say anything about being with Michelle, I don't know what's in there
his mind at the moment.
“You stay here?” my many.
“Ya, we're neighbors, Kak.” Look at that smile that looks so happy. What
happy to be my neighbor? Or because of something else? “Tante Ina says Kak Lili is Kak Dimitri's best friend. So, I decided to move here so we can get closer, Kak.”
You really have to kill me. I'm very happy if I have to die now. This
more tragic than any disaster.
“In that case, we go first, Kak.”
Michelle embraced Dimitri's friendly arm and left me alone in this lobby. Here's this
why would I want to go through the lobby today, so that I know what will happen to me. What was on Michelle's mind? I have shown openly that I don't like it.
All right, let's say welcome to my hell of the world.
**
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