Playboys

Bonus Chapter: Memories

because the date is beautiful, this is a gift for those of you who have been patiently waiting. I laugh every time I read your comment. Keep waiting for this story, yes :)

“You sure I should go back with Dimitri? You know, right, what he's been doing all this time with me?” ask me on Nabila.

If you say I still love Dimitri, then the answer is ‘ya’. But, if to return to believe,

the answer is ‘not’. I am a woman who holds firmly to one's trust, if that trust has been destroyed, it will not be back intact again even though many people are starting to try to unite

those broken pieces.

Let's just say I'm too conservative or whatever, in fact this is me. If you've been betrayed once, you must

I'll know how I feel. At least you have to experience what I experienced first so you can understand. I'm not like this because of my wishes, but my heart can't accept anymore. Even though I love her so much.

“I'm sure he's changed, Li. As long as you're gone, he's like a madman because he can't find you, he's a workaholic. Try it, pay attention to how thin her body, her face looks more thin. I'm sure you know what I mean,” said Nabila.

“You're sure all that can guarantee he can change? I've known him for a long time, and I'm sure the girl player's illness couldn't have stopped because of me.”

This was my first discussion with Nabila because of Dimitri. A few days ago I received Dimitri back. I have forgiven him, but that does not mean I can just forget everything he has done.

“You also know the story about Michelle, Dimitri was forced and Michelle benefited from it all. Richard also said the same thing, right?”

Yeah, I know that problem. Okay, Dimitri loves me. He's never slept with a random girl again after

get my precious treasure. Dimitri is also a very masculine and gentle figure in women, I also know that very well. And he loved me, and then I loved him too.

If simplified, I just have to accept the proposal and we live happily ever after. That's what's going to happen in a romantic movie I just happened to see. But, the truth is not that easy. I even had to run away just to forget Dimitri and all his deeds, which of course failed.

“You paid how much Dimitri did you want to desperately defend him, instead of me?” ketus.

Nabila sighed. He knows best how stubborn I am when I argue, and Nabila never gets tired of doing this. “I just want you to be happy, Li. I know how much you suffered by running away from reality, hoping to escape Dimitri, but you can't, right?”

The relationship between Nabila and Reno is fairly peaceful and minimal conflict. Even until now when they already have children, their small family. We both know what we have done to get to this point. But, for this time only, I will oppose Nabila's opinion.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to go back to Dimitri. Let's just say yesterday I was again blinded by the demon who always possessed me first when I first fell in love with Dimitri.

“You love him, until when will you lie to your feelings by repeating the same sentence in your brain? Take it, Liliana. I know your heart needs Dimitri. This is your destiny, because if not, there is no way you can go back to see him,” continued Nabila.

We may be rediscovered to learn from each other's mistakes, so that in the future we do not do the same. But that doesn't mean we should get back together. I'd rather be on my own for the rest of my life, if I had to go back to Dimitri again. Though my heart accepts, but not my sane mind. Because all this time what helped me to keep living was my sane mind. Love can't always make me happy.

I didn't answer Nabila's long words, because I didn't want us to keep fighting. I'm just walking out

leaving him alone, the thing I would never have done, let alone this Nabila. Next time I'll apologize to him.

**

I recalled my old memories, only a few days after I intended to receive Dimitri back. After thinking about it again this time, I should have listened to the bad things running around in my head instead of following my heart to accept her proposal and get married.

Am I the only one who seems so sorry for my own marriage? I hope not.

It's because of all Dimitri's attitude lately, if I hadn't found Evelyn with him, or not waited for him every night. I shouldn't have thought about any of this. But who can be blamed here? I don't want to be the guilty here. Let me be selfish, not me who created this ego.

“Lho, you're alone, baby. Dimitri where?” ask Mom when I just got off the cab.

I finally went home to my parents alone. I didn't tell Dimitri, right, did I? I left the house without any message, just ask Tari—wai florist— to continue the work without me. At least for a week.

“Kalo Lili nungguin Dimitri, maybe until next year Lili will not go home,”. I pursed my lips with (not) cute so that Dad and my mom would not suspect.

“Can't talk to your own husband,” said Father.

I just laughed, and we hugged each other into the house. The smell of food is already smelled even if only from the door. My mother's cuisine is the best, I can't even imitate her cooking a little. Maybe the shape can be the same, but the matter of taste is very far from the same.

“Menu today what, Bu?” my many. I embrace Mom's arm spoiledly, it seems like it's been a long time since I've spoiled like this.

I've been out of my house since I graduated from high school, so I can say that my time with my parents was very short. I am strong for the size of an only child, which I know an only child is identical to never being away from parents and always spoiling. Maybe it depends on each personality as well, because surely not everything is like that, I just say the outline.

“Favorite food of beloved children Mother.” Mom smiled at me after we got to the dinner table.

The dining table is full of food. There are salted fish, tofu and fried tempeh, then fried chicken, lalapan, and do not forget my mother's special paste sauce. These are all my favorite foods. Although I can find it anywhere in the corner of Jakarta, it feels inferior to my mother's.

We ate solemnly that afternoon, accompanied by chatter and jokes. Mom and Dad didn't ask about Dimitri or my home life at all. We just chatted as usual, as before when I had not decided to migrate to Jakarta the warm atmosphere that I missed so much.

And my memory goes straight to Dimitri, if we could age like Mom and Dad, it would be so happy. Both my parents are examples of families I would like to build in the future.

After lunch, I decided to rest in the room for a while. I also have to call Dimitri, I haven't turned on my phone since this morning on the flight. I'm also not sure Dimitri will call, his job is more important than anything. Oh, and don't forget ‘his new job’.

“Hai,” my sap.

“Where are you?” ask her with a slightly worried tone. He should have felt that.

“I to Mom's house.”

“You're going to your mother's house?! Without saying the same to me?”

I closed my eyes. Like feeling dejavu, I also used to run away like this, the difference is that Dimitri did not ask something with this worried tone. Have I gone too far? Or too childish?

“You said yourself that I can come here anytime, because you are still busy with your cooperation.”

I'm not insinuating at all, I'm just saying what he told me before. I don't want to be immature, I really miss my parents. Even though leaving without permission from my husband was so wrong, I just followed what came to my mind last night.

“But you should have said, baby. I'm your husband.”

I heard tired breaths across there. Yeah, maybe it's just me being too childish to run away like this. “I'm sorry, i..,”

I can't even give a reason for my actions. My mind has been really messed up lately. My emotions are also very unstable and the thought of Dimitri possibly playing behind me is exhausting. I don't want to keep on giving birth to it, but accidentally, it can't be avoided.

“I close, yes? Don't forget lunch, I'll tell you again if I go back to Jakarta.”

I cut off the phone unilaterally. I seemed to need a break, the trip of more than an hour was quite draining my energy.

**

I opened my eyes slowly, it felt so heavy to open these eyelids. I circled my gaze around, this was not my room, and the smell of alcohol stung my nose. There's even an infusion hose on the side of my bed, am I in the hospital? What's up with me?

My eyes stopped at the side of the bed, my mother was sleeping in a sitting position. I move my fingers that are linked to my mother's. Mom moved a little, then looked up at me.

“You're sober, Son?” ask Mom worriedly.

I only smiled faintly to answer Mom's question, my throat feeling very dry at this moment. “A...Water, Mom,” I said wept.

Nimble, Mom immediately brought the glass on my bedside nightstand to my mouth, lucky to have a straw.

“Lili where, Bu?” I asked after drinking water.

“You are in the hospital, you passed out in your own room,” Mom said.

I fainted? But the last thing I did was call Dimitri and fall asleep. Ah, right, Dimitri.

“Mother calls Dimitri?”

“Not yet, do you want Dimitri's phone mother now?”

I shook weakly. It would be best if Dimitri didn't know this. “Don't tell Dimitri, Mom, she's afraid she's worried.”

Mother shook her head in disbelief, her son who already had this husband chose not to tell his own husband that he fainted. I understand how Mom feels right now.

“You still have to tell your husband, because you are not alone anymore now.

Of course I'm not alone right now, there's Mom with me. Dad might still be preparing our stuff at home. “Iya, Lili knows, there is a Mother of the same Father here. Dimitri will not worry.” I gave my best smile to Mom.

“You're pregnant, son. You will be Mother.”

I just stared at Mom in disbelief. Me? Getting pregnant? “Ah, I almost forgot. I have to call the Doctor after you wake up, Mom comes out first, huh?”

Mom disappeared behind the door. While I was still shocked by the very sudden news. Even before I had no symptoms of pregnancy at all, I did everything as usual. There's no nausea either. What might be the emotion I felt recently because I was pregnant.

Shortly after, my mother showed up with a female doctor. I guess her age is the same as Mother's, because the strokes of that age are clearly painted on her face. The female doctor immediately performed a check-up procedure on my body.

“How are you feeling right now?” ask the Doctor.

I tried to feel my own body, nothing strange, no pain either. But when I moved my hips a little bit, there was a cramp I felt. “My waist down area was a little cramp,” I said.

The doctor smiled at me. “That's normal for a first trimester pregnancy, you're just too tired. It is only three weeks old, so you should not do activities that can make you too tired, because it is very vulnerable and risky. I have prescribed vitamins that are safe for you to consume.”

After saying those words, the lady doctor earlier and also Mother walked out of my room. I touched my stomach slowly, no change, still flat. But there's already one life in there. My tears were slowly flowing, I didn't know it was for sadness or happiness, because what I was feeling right now was so

jumbled.

In no more than nine months, I will have a little angel in my life. But I haven't had a good life for my little angel. Somehow Dimitri's reaction later. And those tears were more and more flowing when considering Dimitri, this should be good news for both, right?

**