Playboys

Nabila's Wedding

Hiii sorry yes over time up, it took me a few days to make this part, the more backward the heavier the writing. After this part I will read the bonus episode, the contents about the first time Lili met Dimitri and they became friends, and the first time they ahem-ehem. Maybe it will be two parts or one part. I know you guys really read that sad-sad mulu, right? It counts as warming up before getting into a real conflict. Okay, that's it, happy reading

There's a reason I didn't visit Nabila when my mind was in a state of turmoil and a lot of trouble like this. Today is Nabila's wedding, and I don't want to bother her who is busy dealing with her marriage with my complicated problems. This morning the marriage contract went well, and tonight is the recipe.

I became her bridesmaid, as did Richard. I wore cream-colored kebaya and batik cloth as his subordinates, as well as hair that I carried gracefully. Richard was wearing a full tuxedo suit, he looked dashing and handsome. It seems like I should be thankful that all the men involved in my life are handsome men.

I had wanted to contact the Gods to be present, but I undo that intention. If I meet a God, then he will quickly see and find out what kind of problem I am facing. Enough Richard knows everything.

Dimitri and Kevin were also invited, because he was also included in Nabila's friend list. Richard knew my fear, so he had always been by my side since then, we were like lovers in general.

“It is very suitable for you,” he said when we were enjoying a dish at this circular table.

I just smiled, not responding too much. I don't know, we can't say friends, debetan, let alone a couple. I think what's left in Richard for me is guilt, that's why he's always by my side. It's kind of sad, but this is what happened.

I haven't seen Dimitri and Kevin since, I'm afraid actually to meet Dimitri, I wish Dimitri wasn't there. I had a lot of courage to prepare before I met the man.

“They will be late, being stuck in traffic,” said Richard just like that. It was as if he knew that I was anxiously waiting for them. “Or do you want to go home?”

“When I could kill me if I wasn't here until the show was over. You know, don't you, how that girl is. Wonderful, why Reno can feel at home.”

“If you are already in love, all will look ordinary in your eyes. Love is blind, right?”

I looked up at the words Richard said. Right, like me who still loves Dimitri, when he hurt me very often. What else can I do? Falling in love again is not that easy, I am not a teenager who can easily change partners.

“You pity me?”

Richard looked at me, I could feel it even though I wasn't looking at him. I always pity myself for this. Celibacy sounded like the best option, and then my parents would come to me and marry me off to whoever it was. I'm really sick of having to deal with men so far.

“Or feel guilty? Which of the two is it?” ask again. This time I looked at him. Look at the eyes we met.

“I just feel responsible for you.”

“That's the subtle language of both options earlier, pathetic, right?” I laughed dryly. Right now, all I feel is empty and empty.

Do you think I haven't suffered enough because of this? Or why am I so determined to let go of a friend I love with another girl, her fiance?

I suffered so much and was tormented, maybe from the outside I didn't seem to have any problems, I was very strong in facing this problem. But deep down, I was so broken that it felt so numb. I was tormented by the fact that I loved Dimitri when it was the cause of my heart breaking.

Maybe some of you will scold me and ask me to forget Dimitri, then find another man better than Dimitri. If you were in my current position, you would definitely do the same to me.

“You really don't like me? I will directly answer ‘ya’ if you apply for me now.”

The sentence was thrown out just like that, the result of my subconscious despair. “I'll do it if you stop loving Dimitri.”

I propped my hands up on my chin, leaning against the round table in front of us. “Stay by my side then, until this feeling disappears by itself.”

**

Like I said, I was suddenly close to Richard because I felt safe with him. Don't misunderstand our closeness. I don't know what his heart is, or what he feels when he's with me, I just hope there's no exaggeration between us.

I've met Dimitri very rarely, I heard he's busy working on a branch of the company out of town. Meet Kevin also only occasionally, and say hello is just that. I'm back in my apartment, I don't care if I see that girl or maybe we cross paths in the lobby.

It seems like I've been so numb to everything that's happened in my life, so I choose to be indifferent. The pain still lingered in my heart as if it did not want to go away, I only occasionally forgot about it when I was busy working. I went back to being a hard-working Liliana, but I did it in my apartment. I don't want to risk meeting Dimitri.

What was different from this afternoon, was Nabila's very rare visit to my apartment. It's been a month since her wedding. She doesn't live in her apartment, Reno gives them a house as a wedding present, and I'm so jealous of the couple.

“So, how does it feel to be married?” ask me with a big smile.

When she looked at me sharply, she looked upset. “Don't show your face with your big smile to me! I know you're not okay.” Nabila folded her hands on her chest and still gave me a sharp smile.

Nabila is the only friend who understands me better than my parents, she is always sensitive to my condition in various situations. That's why I love him so much.

“I don't want to tell my story, Bil. Please don't ask. Wait, who told you?” My mind went straight to Richard, because he was the only one who knew how I was feeling right now.

“It doesn't matter who told me, why didn't you tell me? You don't consider our friendship?”

I let out a breath. Whatever happens, I always know that Nabila is always on my side. My eyes began to water again, because of the attitude of Nabila who was like a sister to me.  I shuffled closer to her seat and hugged my friend who was no longer a girl, she was already a complete woman.

Nabila just stroked my hair, did not ask or try to give me a soothing sentence. What Nabila did was calm me down enough, I didn't need any words, I just needed a place to spill all the frustration I've been harboring for a long time.

“Contact me if you have any problems, don't keep it to yourself. I don't know a weak Liliana like this, don't you be in rasuki.”

I had to laugh at Nabila's sudden words. He was always a slipper and tended to hurt me with his words, but sometimes the words could comfort me. He is a very capable friend.

“Then it's better to stay here tonight,” my words are still as much as they are with a very messy face.

I immediately let go of my embrace and looked at Nabila fiercely. It could be that at a time like this, he was still thinking about bed. “Hei!”

Nabila just laughed at my reaction, he even held his stomach because he laughed. I looked at her annoyed, yes I knew she was a newlywed, I was just upset when she talked about the bed. My memory is only with Dimitri. Ah, goddamn.

**

On Saturday morning, I made an appointment with Richard again.  I'll meet him at the hospital where he works. Normally I would prefer to roll myself in bed all day or finish my office duties, but I seem to have had enough and I need a breath of fresh air. So, I just accepted Richard's invitation.

It's still nine o'clock, and he said he'd accompany me all day for a walk. I just do it without denying it. I actually really hate the smell of the hospital, so I keep myself from getting sick. Very contrary actually to my habits that like to stay up late and forget time.

I hate myself when I'm sick, but I do whatever I want without caring. Humans are sometimes that funny, and I'm part of that human population. I knocked on my door in one of the rooms that read Richard P. Jagratara is at his door. I opened the door when a voice came from inside the room.

Richard gave me a smile when he saw me come in. The room is neat, not as big as my room in the office but quite comfortable. There is a single sofa for guests in front of his desk. A bookcase next to his desk, a pole to hang his doctor's suit. That's it, it's very simple.

Richard was seen tidying up some of his things before moving on from his seat. “Come to leave.”

I was just trailing behind her, along the corridor to the exit, and there were some sisters smiling at me and Richard. I just lowered my head to see all that. I wonder if I'm the only woman who's ever come to visit Richard?

“Where are we going so early?” ask me after we're in the car.

“Garden play?” he asked while raising his eyebrows and smiling sweetly.

I looked at him in horror, I don't know what was on this man's mind.”The playground?! You crazy? I've two seven.”

“And I'm two eight. Any problem with that? The playground is aimed at everyone, many couples also dating there.”

“You're asking me out?”

Richard looked at me with a smile, this man looks so different today. I still believe he's in something rasuki. I knew she was sweet from our first meeting, but I didn't know she was going to be this sweet.

“Maybe to comfort you, who knows if I can change your heart this way. That's what you want, right?”

Richard refocused on driving. I did say that, but I didn't know he was serious about what I said. It was just a casual remark I said because there was nothing I could say anymore. My heart doesn't seem that easy to change.

Because it's Saturday, the streets are quite crowded, and the people who visit this playground are quite crowded. Naturally, everyone must take advantage of this opportunity to vacation and relax the mind. Then I'll do the same thing, even though it's not really for me.

**

“What do you think? The playground isn't bad either, is it?” asked Richard after we finished trying out the various rides that were here. Almost everything we have tried, and although hard to admit but today was quite entertaining.

“I don't know if your taste is childish, but yes, I enjoy it.”

I smiled faintly as I ate the fried rice in front of me. It's past lunch hour, because we were too dissolved in the various rides we tried. I never visited the playground here. My life is just for work. You could say I'm like a house kid.

Being alone is like therapy for me, I get my energy again when I'm alone. During the five or six days I worked for a week, I always met many people, discussed many things, even had to talk to people I did not like. That's why when it's a holiday, I prefer to languish at home, my knowledge is only about my work and related matters.

My musical taste is also very classical. I don't like music right now that mostly takes EDM, it's been exploding lately, but I can't enjoy it. I love any music, but if it doesn't get my hearing, then I won't listen.

“As far as you want to say what, obviously the burden of your mind is definitely reduced, right?”

I really liked this kind of caring Richard, but somehow I always felt something else when he tried to cheer me up. Like he was responsible for the pain I had been suffering all this time.

“You don't have to do this, I'm fine. I just can't enjoy it if you're like this.”

We looked at each other, he seemed to be able to read what I was thinking, and I didn't know what he was thinking. Whatever it is, I better not hear it. The fact that she is Michelle's older sister and Dimitri's rival is still able to be printed clearly in my memory. I don't hate him for those two things, rather I don't have the right to hate him for that.

Richard's a good man, and I know it. I want him to do all this not on the basis of responsibility or guilt. It's my pain, and let me feel all this.

“I just want to make you feel better. You can count on me for the next, Li,” he said. His eyes still look at me.

“What are you doing this still because of guilt? Or are you really sincere about doing it?” my many.

“If I answered because I've liked you since the beginning, would you believe me?”

That was an unexpected answer. Ever since she said Michelle was her sister, and I knew about her past, I never expected Richard to really like me.

“I want to believe, but it feels so hard. All of this made my confidence decrease. You better throw away any feelings you have for me. Although I don't hate it, I prefer the fact that you're doing all this out of guilt.”

“I think this is how Dimitri felt when rejected by Arumi.” Richard smiled faintly, as if disappointed by my answer. Does he wish I would answer like what? “Do you love that to Dimitri? Until you don't let another man enter your heart?”

“What is love like this? If yes, then I am in big trouble. My heart was broken before starting anything,” I said bitterly. I haven't even started anything yet, but everything requires me to end it. It's not fair to me.

**