PASUTRI (On Love & Happiness)

CHAPTER 29

Zahra is really hesitating right now. Zahra heard Faza's own words to Fadly who said he would come to his parents' house by inviting him along.

“Zahra.”

“Mas.”

The two call each other at the same time. Clearly, the chaos was engulfing their hearts.

“Mas first.” Zahra Smile.

Faza took a breath and exhaled him through his mouth. Inviting Zahra to come to his parents' house may not be easy. But Faza also could not be so hearty to let Sinta continue to hurt because he hoped for his arrival.

“Sayang.” Faza grabbed Zahra's hand and grasped it gently. Faza cannot expect Zahra to want because Faza himself knows how to avoid Zahra if invited to come to the house of his parents.

“Fadly says mom is sick and keeps getting angry because I didn't come.”.

Faza paused for a moment his speech. The man sighed softly.

“I want to invite you the same as visiting mamah.”

Zahra silence. What he feared was true Faza said. Zahra doesn't know what to do. Accepting Faza's invitation means being ready to accept Sinta's insults. Avoiding it again also feels impossible. Faza would definitely misinterpret his intentions.

“I know you are not comfortable near mama.. But mom expected me to come. And I want you to come. I want you to know that I love you so much.”

Faza let go of his hand grip and then changed cupped both cheeks of Zahra. Faza could not choose between his wife and mother. Because both are equally meaningful in the life of Faza.

Zahra kept quiet. Heart rumbles. Both eyes heat up even his eyes sometimes blur because the tears are ready to slide freely on his chuby cheeks.

“Sayang.. Say something, I beg.” Faza looked expectantly at the worried Zahra.

“I can understand if you can't.. This time, I beg you, baby... I beg you very much.. For my sake.”

Zahra's tears began to trickle down Zahra's cheeks even to the point of hitting both of Faza's big hands cupping both of Zahra's cheeks gently. The married life they built from the beginning was not as easy as what they had ever imagined. Even the two sides of the family could not accept and understand the feelings of the two of them. Aris is also Sinta, they are still strong with their respective opinions. They seemed not to care about Zahra's feelings as well as Faza.

“Do not cry.. Please..”.

Faza forbade Zahra to cry. But she also cried herself. Faza really felt very weak right now. His love is so strong for Zahra. But his strong love has also hurt his mother as well Zahra the woman he loves so much.

Zahra laughed in her tears. His hands lifted and gently wiped Faza's tears.

“You cengeng mas.”

Faza smiled. His heart ached even so sore as a wound doused with vinegar water.

“I want to.. I also want to go to mama.”

In the end the unwillingness that Zahra had thought about how to tell Faza was not able to speak. Zahra was unlikely to make her husband feel pressured by the circumstances. Zahra knew Faza loved her as well as Sinta's mother. And Zahra would never force Faza to choose between himself or Sinta. Karna Zahra himself felt how to be in the position of Faza.

“Serious?”

“Yes.. We look at mama tomorrow. I'll be home early on Mr. Santo tomorrow.” Zahra's smile in her silent cry.

“Udah do not need to cry. Ugly tau.” Zahra said again.

Faza laughed then pulled Zahra into his arms. Faza is happy but also hurt by the circumstances he is living with Zahra. Her love can't make Sinta too Aris sure.

“Better now we sleep, it's night.”

Faza released his embrace. Faza was neither shy nor angry even though Zahra said she was a crybaby. Because his tears actually indicate that Faza will be strong to carry everything up to anytime. Maybe even God called him.

Zahra and Faza slowly lay on their beds. The two stared at each other in silence until slowly Faza land brought his face closer to Zahra.

The gentle touch made Zahra slowly close her eyes in what Faza was going to do to her tonight.

Zahra believed God would not test him beyond his means of survival. Like what Zahra told her best friend Tina.

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“What? Quick return clearance?”

Santoso stared cynically at Zahra who was sitting in front of him. Somehow Santoso always felt upset that Zahra was going to go with Faza. Faza is Zahra's husband. As for him, he's just the manager at the restaurant where Zahra works.

Awe, liking, even his forbidden love for Zahra slowly planted the seeds of hatred in the heart of a Santoso.

“Iya sir, my mother-in-law is ill and I have to visit her with my husband.” Zahra bowed her head not daring to stare at the face of her superior.

While Santoso, silent his two hands clenched tightly. Santoso himself is aware of his feelings for the forbidden Zahra. Santoso already has a wife and children.

“Come now you are from my room.”

Zahra jerks. Slowly Zahra ventured to face Santoso flat. Until now Zahra did not understand why Santoso's attitude changed to him. Santoso doesn't even allow his son to play with Zahra like he used to.

“Pak but..”

“Exit before I change my mind Zahra.” Sela Santoso is full of emphasis.

Zahra swallowed his saliva.

“Bapak allows me?”

Santoso slammed into the table, leaving Zahra so shocked that her sudden heartbeat worked twice as fast as normal.

“Exit or I fire you Zahra.” Strictly Santoso with a sharp eye on Zahra.

Zahra rounded her eyes. Buru Buru Zahra got up from her seat then stepped quickly out of Santoso's room. Zahra doesn't want to lose her job. Zahra still wanted to work in order to make money from her own sweat.

After Zahra came out of his room Santoso threw a vase made of ceramics that used to roost sweetly on his desk. The vase that Zahra gave her when she celebrated her birthday three years ago. Objects that are actually very worthless but always Santoso save well even become a beautiful display on his desk. Now the vase was broken to pieces on the ground like Santoso's long hopes for his wrong and forbidden feelings.

“Zahra... Jesus Christ..” Santoso Mumbles.

Santoso rubbed his face rough feeling very frustrated. His feelings were right wrong and very wrong. Zahra belongs to someone else and Santoso still expects him to this very second.