My Love Story With 5 Men's

Do you accept it or remain an ex?

It is not easy to express the heart. Before I knew Richypun, I had been in love and hurt by men. It used to be Richy who made me move on from Tyo, but when Richy chose to leave me, I felt much more pain. Then when he said that he still loved me that night, my feelings really could not be denied anymore, where I felt sad, disappointed and worried.

My disappointment made by him first, enough to make me understand what I want.

At that moment I saw Richie shed his tears, all I could do was wipe his tears. That night was a tough night for me. When Richy asked me to come back to be his girlfriend, I told him. Even if one side I still love him. There was no intention of me to disappoint him, but when I look at one side of the other, I consider it my story that used to run aground as a life lesson, to appreciate the time of his future.

I want Richy to feel what it's like when he takes me off and that regret comes, so he can learn to respect his partner someday. Whatever happens, it will all be over, whether it be parting because they do not love each other or because death is wishful. There is one thing I look forward to in my life and I really believe, when someone I love used to leave me, I am sure someday a better man will come to me.

My tears that night, not because I was weak in front of Richy, but all that time I tried to be strong for a long time so that I did not see invulnerability again. The feeling of disappointment that I used to feel, I was finally able to mengikhlaskan that night. Forgiving the past is painful enough to make my soul able to find peace. Maybe he hurt me so long ago that I had to fight until then with the remains of the pieces of my heart that he had destroyed.

I realized something had happened to Richy that night, probably because he was so much of a bully, that he realized that crying too much made him breathe hard enough. She began to hold my hand so tightly and faltered while looking into my eyes.  I didn't take my hand off and kept looking into her eyes, sometimes I shuddered and strengthened her. Because after all, I didn't like it when I saw her sad when I met her, I prefer her attitude that is so cold to me.

When his friends call Richy that night, tell him that the ball game they are waiting for will be as bright as it starts. No words came out of Richy's mouth that night, his mouth was silenced, but I understood very well that his tears could explain everything to me. Then I let him sit right next to me, his arms not released.  I let her close her eyes while calming herself down. There will be pain that is difficult to heal, but I hope that between me and Richy can try to forget each other's feelings. Choosing to be friends is the best way, so that the relationship does not continue anymore.

I was afraid to be happy, because the happiness I once felt was gone. That feeling I've been feeling for a long time, so I consider part of my life. But everyone will go through the wheels of life.

Slowly Richy began to understand and accept the decision I made. That night, Richie did not forget to apologize to me for making me feel disappointed. Richy, who also saw me shed tears, admitted to his regret that he had left me. Nor did Richie forget that he wished I could find happiness for myself forever.

To dilute the atmosphere of the night so as not to stiffen, I began to tell stories where when I first moved schools, I was suffering from the part where some people who did not like me, I did not,

"Don't know why they don't like me?"

"Hmmm because you're a beautiful transfer student."

"Make the wrong guess, guess what!!"

"Because your face has such a cute character?"

"Wrong."

"Then what donk?"

"because of their jealousy. They think I like the guys they like. But I was proud to tell them all that I already had a boyfriend, until I had to show you a picture of my brother stored on my phone."

"hahahhahha, seriously???"

"yes, I'm serious brother. That's when they started not bothering me anymore."

Slowly Richy began to make no sound. As I watched him, I saw him fall asleep.  I don't mind sitting right next to him until tomorrow morning, I think, maybe that night's gonna be the second of my life in the future. And my longing, which was held back, finally paid off that night.

Always grateful for what happened, made me put my hope that night. I wish that tomorrow morning was the beginning of my life to be a better day. And I believe, no matter how much trouble I face in the future, problems will lose with the expectations I have.

After Aci and I washed our faces, we rushed home to the boarding house. When I opened the door, I saw Richy and his two friends standing right in front of the room, a very clear smile on Richy's face that morning. That night I may not have said what hope I wanted for her, but in my heart I said,

"I'm confident that I've been in my life, I won't miss the disappointment that you used to give me. I will only dwell on the good times when I am with you, and on all those occasions I can learn to further recount the past with my brother.  I hope that you will continue to smile as you did this morning and I also hope that you find happiness for yourself"

Me and Acipun are as bright as ever,

"It looks like we'll have to go back to boarding this morning, just accept for everyone because we've given the two of us a ride tonight. I'm sorry if we're troublesome, once again my dear brothers."

"Just relax, you're not a hassle at all." (that room owner's girlfriend).

"Well, we both go straight back, brother."

"DD, uh,,,"

"Yes brother?"

"Be careful on the road."

"Yes brother. Take good care of yourself."

"ummmmm, yeah."

Acipun and I went straight down the stairs and opened the boarding gate from the top floor, Richy continued to look and smile at me.

"Thank you has been a part of my life." (talk in my heart).

To be honest, maybe many people say that I am stupid, why do not I accept it back if I still love him, instead choose to refuse and invite him to be friends only.

We do love each other, but that doesn't mean we'll be together right then and there, when Richy asked me to come back to him. I'm sure, if Richy's really going to fight for me, maybe I'll go back to him. But I also don't know, whether with that night, making Richy stop expecting me, only time can answer.  I didn't expect anything, either, other than to keep walking forward without looking back.

My journey of life was full of joy and sadness with him. I don't want to go back to the time when I first knew him. If I could choose, if he really wanted to come back and still loved me, I'd say he would fight for me. However, I will forget the past while with him first, and want to repeat from zero to know him again.

I can forget it, but I'll wait for him until I can forget it.

I also need time to get to know myself longer, so that I can get to know my partner someday, whether it's someone else or stay with the same person.

If someone had chosen to leave I wouldn't have held it back, because it would have left anyway. Nor will I rule out the possibility of others trying to come into my life, for if someone truly intends to enter into my life, they will come even if I don't want them at all. But who knows, what we don't want could make my life more colorful.