My Love Story With 5 Men's

Being possessive because of the past

An incident that was never expected by me, I received less pleasant treatment when I arrived at the campus. Tying me and Gunawan on the way to class, my steps were suddenly stopped by someone, whether he wanted to find trouble or just wanted to look face to face against me, he was none other than Cristan. Cristan who was initially proud of his courage that tried to block my path, immediately he turned to be upset, because at that time I did not care about it and continued walking.

"It's no wonder, though, that a junior from the village behaves disrespectfully to his senior, even though that person knows that his senior is trying to talk to him." (Cristan North).

Trying not to be stuck with Cristan's voice, I tried to keep going and pretend I didn't listen. Cristan is becoming more and more so, he is increasing the tone of his speech. Not only that, Cristan also explained that the words he issued were shown to me. Without any burden at all, it sounded very clear that Cristan called my name.

I, who was not initially propagated by his initial words, made me change in a matter of seconds. Not only was I surprised by the courage of Cristan to take my name, because at that time I was not the only one who heard his words, but the one who was on my disk. Instantly my steps came to a halt, and I turned towards Cristan with enough confidence without any fear or hesitation.

"Junior who is from the village, who has no manners of satun, do you mean that I am?"

"You think?"

I moved my legs closer to venturing to try to stand right next to him and I tried to get the word out by whispering it.

"If you want to seek devotion from me, it would be better, the words that will be issued to me, please think first. I admit I'm from the village, but be careful, I'm afraid that brother's ending up liking me, you're feeling sorry for his sister."

Immediately Cristan was silent on the courage I was doing. How not, I was well aware, that the distance of my lips with Cristan's ears was quite close.

As I turned my back, I saw Ray suddenly standing right behind me.

"Clara, what are you doing?" (Task Ray).

Without answering Ray's question, I just looked at Cristan and smiled cunningly at him. Then I left that place. The smile I threw was not the end of all the trouble between myself and Cristan. Rather, it was the beginning of my fight with Cristan.

I will not let them as my seniors easily complete this game.  All I want them to know is that the game they picked up was the wrong toy and it wouldn't be appropriate for them to win it, let alone to have it.

"Are you all right?" (asked Gunawan).

"Ummmmm, I'm fine."

A lot of students passing by at that time, when I stepped my feet in class, I felt like some of my classmates were caring for me. I didn't care.

Alif, Aci, Rika, Rafa and Tito who heard that I and Cristan had just had a small quarrel, made the five of them directly approach me right sitting next to and in front of me. I don't want to squash it, because I don't want to have a commotion in class to become so for gossip that will be made by other classmates.

It is difficult to face the problem, because the problem we face is with someone who almost every day meets. Fortunately I did not consider the problems I was facing with my seniors as a burden or a big problem, but rather I considered it just a game that might take a long time to get around. I also considered it a test for me to become a more mature person. Trying not to worry about something that does not know what will happen to me in the next days, does not make me weak, but rather gives me the encouragement to become stronger.

I don't want my weaknesses to be used by others, especially people who try to get close to me. My love story that used to make me a little troma, so it makes me very careful. What used to be me not being so possessive, I started to turn myself into a very possessive person.

One month I had passed, it had never occurred to me that the dispute between me and Cristan had continued. But my relationship with Ray has become increasingly strained since the revelation of the matter. I didn't respond as much to calls or SMS from Ray as I did. Even so, Ray's attitude towards me, I don't feel him changing. She kept trying to get close to me, Sometimes I felt like I was still being unstable, so sometimes I would respond when Ray tried to call me.

Lonely, that's what I sometimes feel. Even though I have friends, I choose not to be too open. Because not only about the problems of love that is quite complicated that I have experienced, but I also had a dispute with my sahabt-sahabt in my 3rd grade Junior High.

Memories in the 3rd grade of Junior High are not easy for me to pass, because the last four months I have understood with my four best friends. Until the end I received graduation still not with my friends. During those four months, I never rebuked each other or a few words when I passed each other, let alone to speak it was impossible.