LOVE THE SINNER GIRL

THE DARK PAST

I have no one when I'm down. Besides me and my reflection in the mirror, then it's Lucas. He was the only one who was always there for me. I don't have to pretend or hide anything from him. All are sincere and honest. He was the only one who knew of my darkest past and stayed by my side. No matter how disgusting I am, and how angry he is at me, he will always be the first to come when I am hurt.

Before my father died, I thought there was no better place than my family. When my father died, things changed. I was 16 years old then. My mother remarried a 25-year-old unemployed man who knew nothing but to serve my mother in bed. He was often drunk, smoked a lot and gambled, and my mother never complained about it.

Now I'm sitting where I once called home. My house for 18 years. Not much has changed, except for my father who is no longer there to protect me.

“My darling, I'm glad you came.” My mother seemed happy to see me, I ignored her call for almost a year. “My son maish is as beautiful as it used to be, or maybe even prettier.”

I twist my words, I hate everything he says. He is a person who also likes to cheat and is also easily deceived. She bad.

“Let's eat, I've asked the waiter to cook your favorite meal”. He sat on my right side, ordering the ministry to prepare food on my plate. Nothing has changed, my mother is just someone who loves to rule, even if she can do it herself.

I stopped the waiter and smiled at him. “It's okay, I can do it myself, Thank you.” The waiter put the serving plate back on the table and stood back in its place.

“You didn't eat baby?” Asked my mother, she tried to persuade me, she knew I was still very angry for many years.

“Why did you call? I was busy. There's a lot of work tomorrow" I can't wait to get home.

“Please come back home, believe it or not I miss you so much. You can be your father's successor. Why don't you work there instead of working for someone else?”

“And when will you think of my feelings, my will? Why it's all about your feelings and your kemaun.” I kept my face without expression.

He looked at me with a sad expression. I don't know if it's really sadness or just pretend.

“Jenny my dear, I know you're mad at me. But I can assure you that your father ..."

“That damn bastard is not my father.” I cut his words. Mom's clearing. “Please pay attention to your words, Mark is a kind and polite man. I can assure you that he will never touch you. He never hurt me. She is very loving.”

I laughed cynically. My tears started to melt and were ready to slide. “That's the disgusting thing I've heard my whole life.”

“Jenny...”

“Bu, please listen. I'm not going back to this fucked-up house unless you kick Mark out of my father's house. I don't want to live with your young husband, a perverted rapist and gold digger.”

“Honor my husband Jenny!!! (my mother yelled at me), she's not a rapist!!!” My mother kept shouting like crazy, but her words were firm.

I grinned. Wiping tears on my cheeks and chin. “You want me back? But until now you couldn't accept the fact that your husband fucked your son like his whore? That he's still here stabbing my father's fortune, he should've rotted away in prison. Your husband's a criminal, a scoundrel rapist!!”

A loud slap echoed in the dining room. I spit blood out from the corner of my lips. I snorted as I looked into her teary eyes. How could she cry when her husband harassed her only daughter? She was crying for her husband, not for me. How can she call herself a mother?

My feet and hands were shaking. I clutched my steering wheel tightly. All I could think about was calling my best friend. Someone who was always there for me, accepted my good and bad. Someone who would just hug me and tell me that everything would be fine.

...****************...

“You shouldn't have gone there in the first place. This must have happened.” Lucas said as he placed my head on his chest, hugging me tightly. I called Lucas to meet me at the apartment.

“I can't believe for years he still doesn't trust me. That man ruined my life. Makes me unable to view the world properly.”

Lucas sighed, he held both sides of my face gently, asking me to look at him. Her eyes looked so sad, she was always like that when I cried.

“Let's file a lawsuit against him, I've asked you several times.”

“It would have ruined my life more. I just want my mom to trust me. Imagine how much news I made when I told everyone what happened to me? And my own mother doesn't support me? Thenwhat? He's gonna tell everyone that I'm a liar? I'm gonna be a suspect in a defamation case, on the grounds that I seduced my stepfather? My mom would say that I flirted with her husband. Pathetic right?”

Lucas wiped my tears, on my cheeks, nose, lips and neck. A comfortable feeling due to her warm big hands repeatedly rubbing my cheeks.

“You know, you always have me.” I looked into his sincere eyes, fusing our foreheads. “I know. That's why I asked you here to hug me.”

I used to be fine. I am a happy, cheerful, charming and gregarious Jenny. Everything changed when I experienced something terrible.

My stepfather was a drunk. We never said hello. I hated him from the beginning. Then I not only hated it, but I got angry and cursed him when he raped me. When I told my mother about it, she hit me and punished me as if it was all my fault for giving up my body willingly. My mom's crazy, they're a crazy couple.

I was 18 years old at that time. I got out of the house, ran away to my father's apartment. Lucas is abroad for a reason I don't know. Then after 5 months Lucas came home and called me. She looked sad after knowing what had happened to me, then she took me to her apartment, I lived with her for many years. He takes care of me and loves me well. I have to thank him all my life.

My thoughts about the surroundings and the world changed since that bad experience. I always get compliments for my looks. But all are scams. Once I'm in their bed, they'll see me as someone easy.

I live my life free by going from bed to bed every other man I meet. I thought that I was already dirty, there was no point also keeping my body from se*ks free.

Young and old alike. They are liars whose brains are filled with lust. Just like my stepfather raped me when I was young and innocent.

I learned to be careful with compliments, using them to satisfy my desires. But one thing I've always avoided, and that's sleeping with a married man. This may seem strange, because now I'm looking for someone's husband and father. But what difference does it make? He's an adult, much older than me. He's calm and stable, he's like a challenge to me.

I had trouble recognizing myself after all, but I could tell that I was becoming stronger. Thanks to Lucas for keeping me sane to date.