LOVE THE SINNER GIRL

HOMECOMING

Looking at the photo Jenny sent me a few days ago, I wasn't quite sure what to say, so I didn't reply to Jenny's message, I was too nervous and devastated. I think speaking directly is better than having to send a message.

I told Leo that we were going home to Seoul, of course he was very happy. She already misses Ruby very much, Ketrin and her sister Irene. But before that I asked about her response if she had a sister, the night after I received the message.

"Leo, can I ask you something?" Leo stopped his game play as Daniel sat next to him with a serious look.

"Of course, Dad, just ask." Looking at Daniel with his eyes.

"Look, Leo is always a father's son of course. Leo also has Ruby's father and mother, that won't change until anytime. But, you just found out something that you have a little daughter." Leo only nodded his head despite not understanding his father's intentions.

"So, is it okay if you might one day bring your daughter to live with us?" Daniel is very careful when talking to his son, he is actually hesitant to talk about it to Leo. But Daniel thinks Leo should know that.

"Of course it's okay dad, I'm glad I'm going to have friends at home. But dad, why didn't Ruby's dad tell me that you gave birth again?" ask Leo plain.

"No, no dear no, that's not it," Daniel waved his hand in panic. "The daughter of the father is not the son of Leo's mother, she has her own mother." Daniel looked into Leo's confused eyes, the 11-year-old, not fully understood.

"I'm sorry, baby, maybe this is confusing for Leo. But one day, when Leo grows up Leo will definitely be able to understand. Sorry I confused Leo." Daniel pulls Leo in his arms, caressing the boy's head gently, wanting to tell by his actions that everything will be fine.

...****************...

I have a daughter. A five-year-old daughter named Yoon Haru. It is very difficult to define what I feel but today, I can say that it is a joy mixed with nervousness.

When I delivered Leo to Ruby, I impatiently asked Lucas' address. I'm sure Jenny and my daughter are there. I'm sure Lucas will always give Jenny protection. When Ruby asked me if something was wrong, of course I didn't tell her. I want to get there fast. And I can't wait to see it, to hug it, to hear it. Most importantly, her smile came from me. It's proved. She's mine.

Although I was aware that I had to confirm this to Ruby and Ketrin, because of course this also had to do with how Leo lived with me. But, for now my focus is on my daughter."

My heart raced faster as I waited for the white door to open. It was a spacious house with a flower garden in front of it. Before long the door knob turned, and the door opened. All I saw first was how Lucas looked at me in surprise, it looked in his eyes. Even though he was not expressing himself as usual.

"Hi, it's been a long time," I greeted him, unable to smile as usual considering how nervous I was, my legs were trembling.

"Please come in,"

I walked in, followed Lucas behind his back. But not yet in the living room, I asked impatiently. "Can I see my daughter? Is my daughter here?" I heard my voice almost break.

Lucas looked at me, I'm sure he knew that I was shaking. Turns him to call a name, my son. He screamed but not loudly.

I saw him coming out of a room across the street. He ran to Lucas and hugged his leg. I clenched my hands at my side, trying to hold back all the emotions that had been inside me for the past few days. How can a 45-year-old man be so nervous about meeting a 5-year-old? Taking a deep breath, I drew closer to him, kneeling before him.

He is simple but always smiling. Holding tightly onto Lucas's legs while continuing to stare at me confused

Her eyes resembled her mother's, It was round and expressive. But overall, he's like my twin. He hesitated to speak. I-i understand. I'm a stranger.

"Don't worry, I'm not a bad guy. Are you Haru?"

Again, he did not speak. But I know he's curious. I wanted to tell him that I was his father, but it got stuck in my throat.

I carefully grabbed her hand, gave her a reassuring look that I was not a bad person, I carried her, sat her on my lap as I sat back down. We have the same mole under the eyes and lips. I tried to hold back my tears, I couldn't cry. Not in front of him. Then he spoke and my heart skipped a beat. "You also have a mole here." His voice was small but it sounded beautiful in my ears. To be honest I wanted to punch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

There are times when I feel empty. I am happy but I feel empty. I kept finding in myself what I was missing to fill the void. And now, I found the one thing that was missing in my life.

The joy.

The final feeling of satisfaction, I could see, speak, and carry my daughter from the one I loved. And hoping that soon, he'll acknowledge me as his father.

I closed my eyes. My chest hurts so much. I was overwhelmed by the excitement I dared to face today. I saw Lucas stroking Haru's hair carefully.

"Haru."

Haru quickly turned her eyes to Lucas then returned to me. He jumped down from my lap and looked at me for a moment. He looked at Lucas, his eyes asking for confirmation. Lucas nodded.

He came closer to me. I could already feel tears falling from my eyes as I stared at my daughter. "Hello, dad. My name is Haru."

I think Haru was shocked as I hugged her so tightly and let her sit on my lap once again. Haru smiled wiping away my tears. I continued to cry silently as I hugged her, so much longing, pain, that I endured all this time. If time can be turned back, I don't want to go that day. I want to be the first to see how my daughter was born. I wanted to be by her side every day, drive her to school, play, and hear how my daughter was happy to tell her friends about me.

I don't know since when Lucas left the living room. I'm sure he gave me and Haru time to fill the yearning all along.

Although it will never be enough.