LOVE THE SINNER GIRL

DON'T BLOCK ME

The glare of the sun builds me up. I wasn't even able to sleep well after arguing a little with lucas last night, about my plans to tease director Ruby. His words always managed to annoy me, probably because I thought of him as a brother.

“Good morning, what's your sleep good?” Lucas greeted me after he had just seen me wake up, yes he stayed over, I know he tried so hard not to yell at me since yesterday. I'll cry if that happens.

“Good morning, and yes my sleep is not good if you are curious," I replied lazily, I know this morning maybe we will argue again. It's a holiday, and he won't leave until he can scold me.

“Quick shower, and soon to the dining table, I will make you a sandwich this morning.” Lucas was already in the kitchen, wearing a black t-shirt, with black shorts, and he was definitely in the shower.

I rushed to take a shower, in the bathroom I prepared all the answers that would otherwise be lucas debated back with me, but my brain couldn't think, I really didn't want to fight with her, she said, I love him so much, I never denied anything he said was bad, because I believed him. But this time I was determined not to hear it.

Some time later, I came out of the room wearing casual clothes as usual. The big shirt is white and using only short black hotpants, we are never awkward with each other, I consider lucas as my family and vice versa.

At the dining table there was only 1 sandwich left, it meant that he was not waiting for me to eat together, he must have really planned to have a fight with me. I finished my sandwich and approached Lucas who was watching television, I sat down next to him hoping he didn't mention anything about Ruby. He scanned me from top to bottom with his cynical eyes.

"Why do you always dress like that?" ask without seeing me. "Like what? Wasn't I like this a long time ago," I became annoyed because he offended the way I dressed. "It doesn't mean that if I never reprimand you, you can always wear it." The tone became a little higher. "Actually what are you talking about, aren't we always relaxed, after all I'm not naked, would you just meng*saku if I was constantly dressed like this?"

She looked at me angrily, her arms clenched trying to hold back her emotions. I knew my words were exaggerated, but he was also outrageously offensive about something that not even the slightest bit of us had ever debated.

"Don't talk nonsense." Lucas kept looking at me sharply. I hate this situation, I didn't mean to fight with her just because of Ruby. He turned his face and went to the balcony of the apartment. I followed him, he was smoking with a very clear expression of anger.

I walked up to him, hugging him from the side, but after almost 15 minutes had passed, Lucas did not make any sound, he even blatantly ignored me.

“Hey why don't you go on a date on this holiday?” I gave in, opened the conversation first. “Rania is in paris, there is a photo shoot for a few days." Yes Rania her boyfriend is a model, she is beautiful tall and sexy. Her beauty is like that of Europeans in general. But what makes him more interesting is that he is smart, friendly, and very good. Lucas was lucky to get it.

There was silence again, I knew lucas was holding back to rebuke me. “Stop being angry, why are you this angry?” I looked up at his face that was focusing on the streets. Observing a passing vehicle.

“Only this time only, please do not block me.”

“Listen to me (lucas turned my body to face him, and our face to face, his expression angry) You know I worry about you very much. If he's really tempted to you and thinks it's love, you're wrong, he betrayed his wife. In the future he can also betray you, you pursue old men because they want a serious relationship, and do not like young men because they always want your body. But they are no different, the old married man is the same, the Director you are planning to tease is he also wants your body, if he wants you, it is only about se*ks.” Lucas emphasized his last word.

“Your words hurt me, do I not deserve love from anyone, is that what you mean?” I was really offended by his words. I know what lucas means, but it still hurts me with him saying that they just want my body. lucas knows I'm going to seduce director Ruby with my body, but hearing straight from Lucas that they were just pulling with my body made me sick.

“I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want you to realize, you understand what I mean well." He looked into my eyes. His eyes were worried, he loved me so much, I know that. "Then what do you mean? should I find a man who has no interest in having sex with me? And will just smile happily all your life feel enough with just the word love?" My tears began to pool, my voice trembling.

"You'll find it, I'm sure, someday there will be someone who loves you because your heart is not your body, who will accept all your bad and good." Lucas kissed my head.

“I don't want to fight with you, I know you more than myself. You will always be beside me no matter how dark the path I choose.”

I hugged him, leaning my head against his field chest. When I hugged her I always felt comfortable, hoping that she was really my older sister, who would protect me from childhood so that I would not experience bad things in the past. Maybe if he was my brother there wouldn't be any way I'd live this dirty life.

“I'll be fine, I promise, please don't upset me like this. Every time you raise your voice to me it makes my heart ache once.” I looked at him who was holding me back. But his gaze remained on the crowded streets there. “Do not get angry again, I only have you, I do not want to argue.” Slowly lucas stroked my back.

“Stop being annoying. I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all. If one day his wife finds out, you can't even guarantee whether he will choose you or his wife.” Voice weakened.

I didn't answer it again, I knew it would happen one day, but I was in love right now, I was just thinking about getting it. I finally knew I was going to get hurt, but before that happened I wanted to feel some joy and happiness first.

This holiday is very different, usually I will spend time watching my favorite movie with Lucas, then tell funny things, but now Lucas is angry with me.