LOVE THE SINNER GIRL

PLEDGES

“Darling, what's up? I noticed you look sad after graduation celebration.” I rubbed my daughter's head gently. Since returning home from graduation, Haru looks gloomy and sad, but this morning he was very happy and excited.

Haru simply shook his head in response.

“Hey what's with mom's daughter hem? Let's just say, I'll listen to Haru.”

Haru looked at me with her plain eyes that looked sad. Haru is a child who is always cheerful and excited, seeing her moody makes my heart ache.

“Mother, just now at school Suzy said she would go out for a walk with her mother's father to celebrate graduation day. My other friends also every weekend also go for a walk with his family.”

I clasped her delicate little hand, I felt regret for not paying attention to the wishes of my daughter who also wanted to go play like her friends.

Since staying in Gamcheon Village located in the corner of Busan, I opened a noodle shop to connect life, also for Haru school fees. Since she was 5 years old, she would wake up early and help me prepare noodles, then go take a shower and get ready for school to come with Suzy the next-door neighbor's son. I'm glad that many love Haru, Haru's easy-to-mix and gregarious son. But, I was too busy working to forget that Haru was a child who needed entertainment and play with me.

“Pardon dear mother, mother is too busy working to not know Haru's wishes. How about we go to Busan tomorrow? Haru can buy whatever Haru wants.” I cupped her little face, but Haru remained moody. He looked at me while shaking his head.

“Why not? Doesn't Haru want to go for a walk and vacation?” I tried to figure it out from her eyes, but the words I heard from Haru afterwards left me devastated.

“Mother I understand mom is busy working for me, I'm fine spending holidays just playing at home. But I want to be like Suzy and the other friends, they play with their father and mother.”

I stared at him with my heart racing, I'm not ready to hear him now.

“Mother ..., I want to play with dad too. I also want to tell my friends about Dad. Why have I never seen you, mother? Suzy says that if a father loves his child, he will play and hug their children every day. Mom ..., why isn't Dad here with us? Don't you love me? Did I do anything bad? So you don't want to play with me?” Haru spilled all his thoughts.

I hugged her and sat her on my lap, hugging her tightly. Tears unknowingly flowed unstoppably, my heart breaking, when Haru said her father did not love her. I never knew what answer to say when Haru asked his father.

“Darling, sorry mom,” I rubbed her back when I cried. “Do not say that. Haru is not naughty. Father haru ..., father haru is working far abroad.” I stammered as I tried to lie to my daughter.

“When will dad go home mom?” Haru looked at me expectantly while wiping my tears. “Why are you crying? Mommy also misses dad?”

I took a heavy breath, it felt like my chest was hit by a sharp object, making it difficult for me to breathe.

“Mother cried because she regretted not knowing Haru's wish. Listen, dear mom, I don't know when you're coming home. How about we go to Seoul to see Uncle Lucas. Haru remind? Mom ever tell you about the mother's brother in town?”

Haru nodded in response.

“For a while if it's okay Haru play and go on vacation with uncle Lucas first, while mom will try to contact your dad, if he can see Haru soon. Okay?”

“Does mom promise?” I looked at Haru doubtfully, I don't know if his father would want to meet and acknowledge Haru as his son.

“Iya dear, mother promised.” I hugged and kissed Haru's forehead.

I'm not ready for what's to come. I never thought about what Daniel thought of Haru. I'm just scared. I was afraid to hear hurtful words. Maybe I can endure the pain for Haru. But I don't want to see the only sincere eyes staring at me every morning get hurt.