LOVE THE SINNER GIRL

DANIEL

Find a place where there is excitement.  And joy will take away the pain

Five years ago, I felt as if I was betraying me. I supported my friend as she poured out all her secrets to me about her affair, but I fucked her. Questions started popping up in my head, why would I do that? Do I really like it?. It's weird because I'm the one who values our friendship the most, and I'm sure I don't get along with Sean and me anyway, Sean would certainly agree if anyone said that I was the most loyal person in the friendship.

When Jenny and I talked before I left, I asked her if she loved Ruby? The answer remained the same, he was always waiting for Ruby. I couldn't understand how I felt back then, when he came to see me one last time. Actually I wanted him to keep me from leaving, but it didn't happen and it never did. I felt empty when I left.

But am I really in love? I'm not sure, I've been away from the word love after what happened to me in the past. I hate the word family, I hate my father, I hate marriage.

The second question is, am I interested in him? Again, yes. But gradually, I kept thinking can I fall in love? can I accept love?

Once I knew that Leo was my son, a sense of joy and fear followed me. I'm considering fixing everything.I'm considering my son's feelings if he finds out that his father's an asshole. But it wasn't enough to fix what was broken in my mind. And I finally decided to hire a psychiatrist for myself and Leo. I want to be a good father to him, a father whose son proudly tells his friends.

A few days ago, I learned that Jenny was back in town. Ruby used to tell me that Jenny was missing and Lucas was trying to find her. Then a few days ago Ruby told me that Jenny had come back, she apologized to Ruby. I couldn't answer anything, but the information that he asked for my number made me feel a turmoil in my heart, I knew what it was, but I didn't want to admit it.

I waited, I kept waiting until today for Jenny to call me. But, I was almost desperate, because I did not receive any message from the new number saying that she was Jenny. I thought maybe Jenny just wanted to see Ruby, she just wanted to talk to her, so asking for my number might just be an excuse. I feel empty again.

I remember what Lucas told me when we finally met for the second time to talk about his dead brother and Jenny. She told me about how bad Jenny's past was. I'm sure there's something wrong with Jenny, but I don't think it's that bad. I became very angry, I spent as much money as the many bastards who had abused Jenny could be imprisoned and tortured mercilessly. I want him to suffer, I want him to be in pain, but I don't want him to die easily either. He must feel how desperate Jenny is to him.

It escalated into something more intimate. I feel protective of him. Feeling jealous that Ruby took a lot of his attention. I feel so proud every time she lets me touch her. I asked myself, is it love, or is it just a burst of physical lust?

Whenever we hooked our eyes, I was always captivated. His presence gave me more joy and I was looking for more time to be able to tease him. I was so excited to show him what I could do.

And every time we were together, I realized what I wanted. He made me feel needed and wanted. And the more I try to let go, the more I always come back. I want to give more. Or maybe I need to give more. Yeah, I'm in love with her.

The clinking sound of the HP sign of the incoming message blew my mind. When I saw the phone screen, it was an unknown number. My heart was pounding, trying my best not to be nervous as I opened the message. It's a picture, a very cute little girl. I watched with detail his face, his eyes, and what caught my attention he had a mole under his lips and his eyes peersis like mine. My heart raced faster, until I could hear my heart. It was as if my chest would explode at any moment. My hands were shaking, the wordless message left me claustrophobic. I'm trying to wait if there's a message coming back from that unknown number.

And finally a new message came in, which broke my heart, once again.

Name's Haru. Yoon Haru Heba, I'm sorry I used your march without your permission. She is almost 6 years old, a few days is her birthday. I never intended to disturb your quiet life. I am ashamed and afraid to tell you. I intend to hide it all my life, hoping he will be enough with my love. But one day he was sad, something he never did. Because he is a cheerful and easy to blend in with, just like you. He said he envied his friends who could play with his father. He asked me if his father didn't love him, because he hadn't seen his father since he was born. That fact made my heart ache, I knew I was selfish, and I had to put an end to my selfishness for her sake. I was so scared about what you thought after reading this message, but I wanted to beg you can you meet him? At least please tell me that her father doesn't hate her. My heart aches when I see him sad.

Excuse me.

Jennies