Love In Butterfly Needles

Luka Amira

The orange glow looks increasingly sloping to fill the sky that afternoon. Dusk has arrived to pick up the night at the end of July. The weather is very friendly in the middle of the year like this, the night feels warm caressing every person who spends time to rest in their respective rooms.

A girl looked moody in the corner of her room, a dim light accompanying her in the silence that was increasingly felt. In between her daydreams, the girl seemed to sob.

How not ?

The man, who would soon become his priest, decided to postpone the wedding they had planned and prepare for it far away.

Even they have set the date of marriage and reception in mid-August, it means what they plan is almost in sight. Yes, the girl's name is Amira. He never thought, how could Hasbi unilaterally decide to postpone their marriage first. I still remember their conversation this afternoon.

**** At a cafe located on the edge of the city, that afternoon Hasbi deliberately picked up her fiance after work to talk about something important, he said, he took Amira to the cafe they used to visit on weekends just to enjoy a cup of warm cappuccino and small food.

Serious talk was seen between them. Hasbi mustered up the courage to declare her decision to Amira. That girl would definitely be very hurt, Hasbi thought. But for now, this might be the best option. Brother Dena is my top priority at the moment, Hasbi muttered.

"Amira, I was before her apologizing for having to convey this" Hasbi said with a heart to begin the conversation.

Amira looks confused, trying to guess the direction of her lover's conversation.

" What makes you need to apologize?", asked Amira.

" This is about Kak Dena".

Amira breathed a sigh of relief to hear her lover mention Kak Dena, it meant the thing she was going to convey was not about their wedding plans. Amira was afraid that Hasbi would change her mind, as she thought after hearing her lover's apology.

"You know now that Dena's sister is in a difficult time?", Hasbi clasped her lover's hand tightly.

The sweet black girl of her late stature nodded her head.

Yes, of course he knows how the condition of his sister-in-law's candidate. Hasbi even at almost every meeting they always discuss about her brother.

" Kak Dena has had dialysis 4 times, his condition began to improve a little, but it seems that his health problems still can not be said to be stable" said Hasbi continued his talks.

" so? You want to apologize for what?", said Amira began to worry about the topic of conversation her lover will widen where.

Hasbi was still silently sculpting, clasping his lover's hand even tighter. Her left hand gently stroked Amira's hair, then tucked her into her ear. He seemed hesitant to continue his remarks, how could he see the woman who had been his lover for 5 years was crying and hurt with his words.

Amira, who has known Hasbi for a long time, seemed to know and could read the thoughts of the man next to her.

" Tell me. Say it though it hurts" said the girl in a slightly trembling tone.

Hasbi took a deep breath, trying to find the right word to convey it, but from last night he stringed the word, but now everything was spoiled for the sake of seeing there was sadness in his lover's netra. But anyway, Hasbi will still deliver it.

"You can still wait, right? ask Hasbi, with a slightly hanging question.

"Waiting for what?", Amira asked back, although she could already guess what the man meant.

"Waiting until I'm really ready for marriage" Hasbi replied anxiously hoping that she wasn't hurt.

Amira had prepared the best reaction for her lover's answer, she showed a calm face, trying to hide her heart as if in the words.

" Is 5 years not enough for me to wait, and in 5 years you don't even feel ready?", Amira's question was beyond Hasbi's expectations, he thought the woman would cry sobbing in front of him after hearing the painful question.

" That's not what I mean by Amira, this has nothing to do with the 5 years we've spent together"

" I just can't feel like having our wedding anytime soon while Kak Dena's situation is still like this" Hasbi continued to try to explain to Amira.

" Why did you propose to me?"

" Come to my parents and set a date for you to justify me?" asked Amira with a slightly raised tone

" Amira, that's all because I was sure you were the right woman for me, who would accompany me as a wife"

" But all beyond my control, Sister Dena is sick when we have prepared everything" Hasbi replied, holding tightly onto Amira's hand, which the girl was trying to shake.

Amira who from the beginning tried to hold the water droplets in her eye pelup finally spilled unstoppable again. He could only shout in his heart, he was sure Kak Dena was a strong girl, but he was alone? he wasn't sure if he would be able to face this test.

" I'm not canceling our marriage, I just want to postpone it until Kak Dena's situation is completely stable" Hasbi said as she tried to wipe away the tears that had shone on the girl's cheeks.

" It's impossible for me to be happy and have a party while my dear brother is still in a state of slump"

" You know that Kak Dena has no one but Dad, Mom, Kak Anjani and I" Hasbi told Amira,trying to explain that at this time Kak Dena needs more attention from the people closest to her.

The girl painstakingly endured the tightness in her exploding chest, wanting her to spill all her emotions by shouting. But he could still hold it because he was in a public place like this.

" Are you not thinking about how I feel?"

" How do my parents feel?"

" My father has even announced our marriage to my extended family" said Amira with trembling lips and anger.

Amira is indeed the only child in her family, both parents are so excited to prepare the marriage of her one daughter. And it was not easy for Hasbi to conquer the overprotected attitude of Amira's parents to her daughter. Hasbi can still remember clearly in the first year of their relationship, Amira's father did not approve of it. And now, when both of his parents have approved their relationship to the marriage stage, Hasbi even postponed it. What answer will he give later??

Hasbi bowed, staring in the fingers of her lover who was still tightly held. Staring long at the engagement ring on the girl's ring finger.

" I'm sorry again, I don't intend to hurt you"

" Come on, baby, it's not long.. I'm just asking you to wait until Kak Dena is really stable and fully able to accept the situation"

Hasbi is still trying to persuade her lover.

Amira looked unmoved, he just grabbed his phone and opened the online taxi application with the green logo. He grabbed his bag, leaving Hasbi still silent and staring at Amira's missing back behind the cafe door.

...****************...

The warm air that night was unable to create a hint of warmth in the heart of the girl who was still sobbing in the corner of her room. He recalled the words of his fiancee that were still deeply imprinted in his memories, making a gaping wound in his heart.

He was confused as to how he told his parents about Hasbi's intention to resign their marriage.

He did not seem to have the slightest courage to face his parents, the worst possibility would happen if his father knew his fiance was not ready to get married in the near future.

Amira could only cry, wanting to let out her anger by calling Hasbi that night. But his intentions he undoes, he grabs the phone next to him. Staring at the mobile phone screen with a notification of 7 missed calls and 15 incoming messages, from one sender's name that he stored in his cellphone contact with the words "My Imam Candidate".

The girl looked upset, reading a message from the man that again only contained an apology, while Amira was very hopeful Hasbi sent a message that he had abandoned the intention to delay their marriage. But in fact, everything hasn't changed.

Amira did not intend at all to reply to the man's message, he preferred to press the block button. For him, at this time he only needs time to be alone and then think in time as soon as possible both parents should know this, he said,before Father or Mother increasingly complete their wedding preparations that have been almost 60 percent.

" I'll come to your house, see your Father and Mother to say this directly" ''so was the last message from Hasbi that Amira read .

For a moment he fell silent, muffled his anger and again thought why Hasbi could do this to him. " Am I no less important than her brother?" ask Dena in my heart.

What he feels right now is just a sense of hatred for the man he still loved yesterday. He grabbed his phone back, unblocked it in his lover's contact and wrote a short message.

" We will get used to it, get used to it without news, get used to it without longing and slowly we will get used to forgetting each other"

Then he was sure he pressed the button

" SNAKE".

...****************...

Meanwhile, in a car that was traveling at speed was splitting the streets that began to be quiet at night, Hasbi grabbed his cellphone which read indicating there was a message coming in.

He saw the name of the sender of the message "Wingless angel ".

Then read the contents of the message by asking questions in the heart. Then reply to a message briefly,

" What do you mean to forget each other?"

Hasbi hit the steering wheel in annoyance, annoyed that Amira even dared to say to them to forget each other, even though all this time Hasbi knew how much the girl fully loved her. Hasbi berated himself and cursed, "Hey, stupid man why are you angry at his decision, didn't you start to hammer the war drums yourself?"

Now he does not even know that this is so complicated to convey to his family, especially to the parents of Amira.

He pressed the gas pedal deeper, accelerating the speed of his vehicle. Tonight, he just wants to lay himself on his soft bed. Falling asleep to forget for a moment the complexity he created himself.