I want to Find Him

CHAPTRE 9

He still nailed to where he stood. With his wide eyes looking into my eyes. I also smiled wider. Trying to understand his surprise.

"I just got here, Mom. Mom wanted to scold me. Rarely, you know, I come here." I said to melt the atmosphere.

He smiled and looked at me more gently. "Thank God, I'm fine." His word.

I only realized after seeing it for myself, that she had a gentle gaze that could nourish the heart. And her smile was very sweet and very similar to Rain's. If only he could do this while teaching in class. At least he will be liked by the students in his class.

Suddenly Grandpa appeared from behind Bu Mega. He looks worried about my whereabouts with Mega Ma'am. "Are you guys okay?" Ask Grandpa.

Bu Mega turned to face Grandpa. "We're fine, Dad." He said in a soft tone.

'annoying!' I also snorted while rolling my eyeballs.

"All right then." Grandpa looks grand. "Hany, let's go to the kitchen! Your grandmother just finished cooking. Let's eat!" Take Grandpa to me.

'Which Grandmother is it?' My inner. "Heh, come on, Cake." I said without rejection.

We also enjoyed the food with wisdom. As usual, if we eat together, Grandpa will always tell about his experience when he went to Malaysia. I never get tired of hearing Grandpa's story. Even though I have heard it so many times even I have memorized all the stories. Because enjoying food while hearing Grandpa's story can make my longing for my grandmother's alamarhuma pay off.

"And after Grandpa returned to Indonesia, Grandpa met..." Grandpa hung up his sentence. "grandmother. The Malay girl that Grandpa loved so much that at any time. Right, Cake?" My welcome by looking into Grandpa's eyes deeply.

Grandfather looked me gently in the eyes. "Hem!" His words are accompanied by a nod that has meaning.

I also looked at Bu Mega who lowered his head while staring at the food he played with with a spoon. Maybe he was jealous of the words I said. I also tried to fix things.

"That's natural, surely we still have a sense of love for people who are not even with us anymore. Yeah, right, Mom?" Ask her. He raised his head with a slightly surprised expression. "Hem, maybe that's right Hany." Answer it gently.

After I finished eating, I also helped Ms. Mega clean the cutlery and wash the dishes. We worked together without talking to each other for a few minutes. I don't know why I wanted to talk to him. I tried to start the conversation by talking about Rain.

"Hem.. Rain how are you?" I asked as if I had never been in contact with him.

"He's fine." Answer Bu Mega flat.

I keep trying to open the lines of conversation. "Oh. Rain has entered the last semester, right. Where's he gonna connect after this?" My next.

"Do you know where Rain has entered the last semester?" Ask Bu Mega.

I jerked. I think I asked wrongly. "That's my guess." I dodged.

"I don't know. I'm handing it all over to Rain with his father. Whatever the choice is I'm sure it's best for him." Said Bu Mega who focused on the sink.

"Does Mom have a problem with Rain?" I asked when I suspected something was wrong.

Ms. Mega also looked at me with eyes that began to glaze over. Her tears also wet her cheeks. "What's wrong?" My toot. He hugged me suddenly. I didn't imagine she would do this to me.

"Diane, Rain. Rain would never see me again. He hates me." Said Bu Mega with tears that increasingly scattered on her cheeks.

I'm so sorry to see him behave like this. The woman I saw so haughty at school turned out to have a fragile side in her. He who always looks grumpy, arrogant, and never smiles at anyone at school, turns out to have a very opposite nature when at home. I am so sorry that I have hated him all this time. I stroked her back gently and let her spill everything she felt.

After we finished washing the dishes, we decided to sit together on the front porch of Grandpa's house. As before, we just kept quiet without talking, and felt all the things we wanted to feel.

"No problem, Hany. Indeed since I was born I've had a lot of problems." Said Bu Mega while staring at the distance in front of him.

I looked towards him. "But every problem has a solution."

"I knew. This has been my decision. Because the problem doesn't come suddenly, but I'm always looking for it." Said Bu Mega.

I try to understand his feelings. Does he really have as many problems as he says or does he just want to make me empathize.

"It's almost dusk, I have to go home. Say hello to Grandpa, yes! I say goodbye, Assalamu'alaikum!"

He nodded, "Walaikumsalam!"

I also left Grandpa's house with mixed feelings.

...----------------...

My night was really fucked up. Millions of thoughts were floating above my head. I stared at the ceiling of my room while hugging the roll. Trying to think of all the things I just knew.

Suddenly a knocking sound came from behind my bedroom door. I got up from my bed and called to open the door. When the door of the room opened, that was when Kak Ina appeared there.

"Dec, let's eat first. Adek, haven't eaten from school." Take Brother Ina who looks worried.

I smiled as well, "Here you go, brother. I ate at Grandpa's house." My word.

"But, it must be a little, right? Let's eat some more. I made you some soup, you know." Said Kak Ina trying to persuade.

"Then put it in the fridge, heat it up again tomorrow." Soft words.

Brother Ina looks lethargic too, "Yes already then." He also left my room.

I lay down and looked at the ceiling again. It's too dark and it feels creepy. I also remembered the flickering lights I had just installed a few days ago. I also look for a lamp lighter that I hung on the back of my bed. It didn't take long, I found the device and pressed the button in the middle.

Instantly my room was illuminated by the twinkling light. The shades of blue light were able to illuminate around my bed. Now my room no longer looks dark and creepy. It even looks beautiful, so it makes me feel at home to stay up all night.

I also got a laptop on my pillow. Open it, then check the Whatsapp application. There was no message from Rain. Even his account was last seen when we were last in contention. Why didn't he call me tonight?

Messages from groups come in non-stop. It has been almost two days since I opened my Whatsapp application. So no wonder the school chat grub so piled up.

I also opened a group that was still busy talking about it. But I was surprised to see the discussion of those who mentioned my name. I also investigated the root of the conversation. My eyes were immediately wide-eyed when the root of the conversation was started by Brother Fatha.

"Hany where are you? I'll wait for you, at the cafe." Posted in forum chat.

After that, of course, a row of accounts returned Kak Fatha's submission. Not only men who tease him, not even a few women also follow. This is a very embarrassing thing. I can imagine what I'm going to face tomorrow at school. I decided to get out of Grub. Before I was realized by the students who still tease Brother Fatha.

I folded my laptop back and put it on the desk. Then, I went back to lying down and stared at my twinkling lights that were shining beautifully across the ceiling of my room. I smiled too. Suddenly I remembered Brother Fatha's message on the grub. It turned out that he cared so much about me that he wanted to wait for me who wouldn't come tonight.

'It turns out Brother Fatha is good too, yes. Always cared about my chemistry lessons. Though we, right, have no appointment tonight.' I smiled and stared at the lights that were still adorning my attic. I kept staring at the lamp until my eyes began to narrow a little. Then, my view of the light began to fade and after that it was dark.

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